Chapter Twenty #2
It felt as if one day she was living in a fortress built from hatred and revenge, and then the next day, she moved into a cozy little house at the foot of a mountain and fell in love with the man she swore to kill.
Her head was spinning. What about Roderick?
Before she could think of marriage and babies and a happier life with Logan, she had to see Roderick pay for his crime.
“Miss Woodburn,” the Lochiel said when she didn’t answer his son. “He willna listen to me. Tell him it could never work between a Royalist and a Covenanter.”
She looked at his mother then let her gaze slip back to Logan. “If ye truly love someone, any obstacle can be overcome.”
Logan smiled at her. So did his mother.
“So then,” his father said thickly. “Ye share Logan’s sentiments?”
When she nodded and blushed, he turned back to his son, whose gaze was fastened on Elspeth.
“Ismay,” her husband remarked. “Ye dinna appear surprised.”
His wife gave him a happy grin and shook her head. “I think ’tis wonderful.”
She did? Elspeth blinked at her. Did she not say that she was the one Elspeth had to win? Did this mean that Ismay MacPherson approved and so then would her husband? Now that she thought of it, the Lochiel did appear relieved.
But she had not said aye yet. The only one who seemed to be aware of it in the room was Logan. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her and while his parents went on about him and their wedding, he moved toward Elspeth as if it were just the two of them.
“I didna mean to speak to ye aboot it this way,” he told her, sounding regretful. “When I asked ye to stay, it would be as my wife.”
“Logan, I wish to be yer wife, but…”
“But?”
“We must find Roderick first. He wants to kill ye and I canna live with the fear of that. I canna try to live a happy life when the one who murdered my family and who wants to hurt ye, is walking about free as the wind.”
“He said he wanted to kill Logan?” the Lochiel interrupted. She had forgotten Logan’s parents were there.
When Elspeth nodded, Ismay MacPherson tugged on her husband’s plaid and said in a soft but firm voice. “Ye must find him.”
Her husband nodded and Elspeth knew that if the Lochiel found Roderick, her brother would die. It would be just and she would put no blame on the Camerons.
“We will find him,” Logan promised, keeping his gaze on Elspeth’s. “He will face justice on this earth before he faces it in the afterlife. And once justice has been done, we will be free to marry.”
If not for the treacherous black cloud called Roderick hovering above, his plan would have sounded perfect.
She had not been free since she was seventeen.
Besides the obvious of her living a life of servitude, she had been chained to anger, hatred, and revenge—and all toward the wrong person.
But this man she thought she hated destroyed her shackles and set her free.
She wanted to be joined together with him for life. She wasn’t sure she could be patient much longer.
“I want to help,” she blurted out. “I will be bait to draw Roderick out.”
“Nae!” Logan objected heartily. “Absolutely no’—”
“Logan,” she said, trying to convince him. “I must do this—”
“Nae.”
“I am the only one who can draw him out. He is clever. He likely knows we are all taking refuge here. He managed to get in once. He can kill any one of ye in yer sleep. Every time we step out of the house, we will anticipate him.” She shook her head and let her ocean blue eyes plead for her. “I dinna want to live like that.”
He shook his head. “’Tis too dangerous, Elspeth.”
“I want to get this over with,” she told him—told them all, “I am his sister. He willna kill me.”
“He killed yer kin,” Logan argued.
“Aye,” she said with tears blurring her vision.
The moment he saw her sparkling eyes, he reached for her.
“But he didna kill me.”
“That doesna mean he willna do it this time. Please, Elspeth.”
His father stepped forward. “I will follow her, unseen, anywhere she goes. She will never be alone.”
“Nae!” Logan shook with anger. “Ye would put her in danger?”
“Did I no’ just tell ye that I would protect her? Are ye insultin’ me?”
Elspeth looked toward the window, forgetting the others around her. Was Roderick out there? Was he close? Her legs ached to go outside and lure him.
When she felt long fingers clamp around his wrist, she realized that she had been moving. She was almost at the front door, but he stopped her.
“Logan, my love, this is the best way to convince him that I dinna trust him.”
Logan and his parents wore the same look of confusion.
“Why would ye want to convince him of that?” his father asked.
“Because ’tis what he expects. Right now, predictability gives me the advantage.” She looked away from the Lochiel to gaze on his son. She studied the man who forgave her for whatever she did to offend.
“If ye dinna use me as bait,” she warned them all,” then I will find a way to join him and bring him to justice on my own.”
Silence clung to the walls like milk-splatter gone sour.
“Well?”
“Aye,” the Lochiel shouted in victory with her.
“Verra well then,” she said. “I wish to venture out, collecting nuts and berries. If he is here, he will come out.”
Logan shook his head at her again, but she yanked herself free of his grip and ran from the house.
Roderick would not leave Lochaber without her. That’s why he hunted her down until he found her.
Ellie, I never lost ye.
What had he meant? Had he known she was a slave? Did he know and left her alone in the world?
A northernly gust of wind snatched tears from her cheeks.
She walked close to the mountain wall. “Och, Roderick…Roddy, how could ye? How could ye kill them? I loved ye, Brother.” She spoke out loud and wept as she went.
She didn’t know where she was going. She wouldn’t get far.
“Are ye here, Roderick? Dinna be a coward and show yerself.”
She heard a sound somewhere behind her and knew it was Logan. He wouldn’t leave her alone out here.
He wouldn’t leave her alone.
Goodness, but she loved him. She knew that what she felt for him, she’d never felt for anyone before.
But the elation and pangs of fear that came with it told her it was stronger than anything she had ever known.
Love. If Roderick attempted to hurt him, she would do anything she could to stop it.
Had she put Logan in danger by coming outside?
She turned around to march back to the house. She didn’t want Logan out here in the open. If she returned to the safety of the house, he would as well. She wondered if Logan’s father was out here too. But she didn’t see either one of them.
She scanned the glen. There was no sign of them. Had she been mistaken and Logan hadn’t come out at all? No matter, she would return to him. She would do whatever it took to keep him safe, and if that meant obeying him, she would do it.
She was about halfway to the house when the Lochiel appeared from behind the house and the front door opened.
Logan stepped out into the warm, golden sunlight.
She knew he was concerned about her. It made her feel—so many things.
Elation, warmth, safety, belonging, cared for, and more.
She didn’t care anymore how it was possible; she loved the man who had been her enemy for so long.
Now, free of anger and hate, she remembered the poor soul beaten, bleeding and hung up by a chain in the dungeon. His crime? Watching her from the trees.
She waved at him, and just as she was about to take off running across the glen to him, something took hold of her and pulled her right off her feet.
It happened so fast, she was still looking at Logan.
She saw his expression of horror. At the same time, she became aware of arms around her waist and the sickening bounce of a horse.
A man—Roderick!—had snatched her and was trying to pull her up onto his lap.
Elspeth struggled against his efforts but, curling one hand around her throat, he lowered his lips to her ear. “If ye keep this up, I will shoot him.” He produced a pistol in his free hand. “I willna miss, Ellie. The choice is yers.”
“Nae!” she heard Logan shouting while he ran to her. “Elspeth!”
Roderick pointed the pistol at him.
Elspeth used his arm to pull herself up behind him in the saddle.
“Go!” she screamed at him, hating herself for having to do it, but it was what needed to happen.
She’d argued to be the bait. Now, she caught him.
But if Logan got any closer right out in the open…
Go! Fergive me! She silently cried watching Logan grow smaller in the distance as he ran for his horse.
“Roderick, what do ye want? Let me go and leave me alone.”
“Leave ye alone? Ellie, ye are the only kin I have left.”
What did he just say? Elspeth doubted the good of her ears. His words must have been warped by the wind and the horse’s hooves. She was about to remind him why that was when he began to laugh. He laughed.
She waited with her hand on her belly until he stopped. “How could ye…” She closed her eyes and swallowed the ball in her throat. “Verra well, some might sympathize with ye with regard to Papa. He was cruel to ye. But Mother—”
“Mother stood by,” he cut her off woodenly.
She squeezed her eyes shut tighter and bit her bottom lip to keep her mouth shut.
She wanted to disappear. Not be here. With him.
She didn’t want to know any more, but…he should at least answer for it.
“Padrig was guilty of nothing.” Visions barraged her thoughts, filling them with images of her oldest brother killing the youngest. “How could ye hurt him?”
“Sir Galahad?”
Aye, Padrig’s favorite knight of legend. Elspeth felt ill. She wanted someone else to hear Roderick’s confession.
“He was father’s wee spy from an early age, Ellie.
Padrig knew all our secrets. Well, ye didna have any,” he corrected himself.
“He knew mine and he often told them to Father. Every time Padrig reported something useful, he was given all the food he could eat. He was always snooping around waiting fer me to leave the perimeters of Father’s rules.
Ye know how I was beaten. Now ye know why. ”
Elspeth leaned over the horse and suffered with dry heaves.
“Ye are ill from all the rich Highland food these people consume,” Roderick muttered under his breath.
“Nae, Roderick,” she corrected, straightening. “I am ill because of ye.”
He was quiet, and in the silence, Elspeth heard the rumbling of a storm coming closer.
“Why did ye not kill me, Roderick? Were ye going to?”
“Why is that so important to ye?”
“Ye murdered yer family, Roderick!” she shouted. “Why did ye not kill me as well?”
What was this madness that she should feel guilty about living when the people she loved the most died?
She began to cry. “I was traded off from master to master. I was a servant and I was treated like one for six years, Roderick! It ruined my heart! My life! Why did ye not kill me with my family? At least then I wouldna be alone.” She buried her face in her hands and wept.
He stopped the horse and turned in the saddle to look at her. “Do ye want me to kill ye now?”
She lowered her hands and glared at him. “Do my tears make ye feel like a monster? Is that why ye threaten me now?”
He aimed a confounded smile at her. “Were ye not weeping because I didna take yer life?”
“I fergot ye were a cold-hearted dolt,” she told him scathingly. “Let me be more clear. If ye dinna feel like a monster, then ye are even madder than I thought.”
His smile widened. “I think ye do want me to kill ye.”
“If that is what ye want, how can I stop ye?”
“Call me brother. That will stop me.”
Her expression went dark on him. “What did ye say?”
“Call me brother or Roddy the way ye used to and I promise not to kill ye.”
Her eyes poured into him and filled with tears once more. She would not call him brother ever again. He was no one’s brother. No one’s son. He was nothing. “My brother died six years ago. Ye are nothing but a monster from my worst nightmares.
“Nae, Ellie,” he told her, his smile going cold. “But I can be.”