Chapter 16 #2
“Louis bought me a diamond ring,” she said. She lifted her coffee mug to her lips and finally met his eyes.
Dawson grinned at her. “That’s amazing news, April.”
“Is it?” She set her cup down and sighed.
“Of course it is.” Dawson tilted his head and looked at her, really trying to see more than she let him. “You’ve been with him for thirteen months now,” he said. “And I know you have that twelve-month rule, and he’s abided by it.”
“I’m just worried.” She frowned slightly. “He just sees everything in the world through this…this…this rainbow lens.”
“Well, that’s why you’re good for him,” he said. “You can be practical while he’s the dreamer.”
“It’s not just that he’s a dreamer,” April said. “I dream of things too. It’s that I’m not sure he sees me clearly.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Dawson took a casual sip of his coffee. He’d spoken with April about this before, and he knew it was a very real concern of hers, even if it felt a little silly to him.
“It just feels like—I don’t know. I feel like we need more time.”
“Well, you can get engaged and not get married for a while,” he said.
April nodded and reached back to tighten her ponytail. “I told him I wanted to get married in the summer. Or, you know, like May or something.”
Dawson lifted his eyebrows. “That’s almost another year from now.”
She nodded. “And we started dating at the very end of May,” she said. “Well, I mean, kind of. I met him at the end of May. It took him a few weeks to ask me out.”
“See?” Dawson said. “So he’s thought about things, April.”
Their conversation was put on hold as Linda returned with the Honey Nut Cheerios. “The pancakes are only another five minutes out,” she said.
“Thank you.” April picked up her spoon and pulled the bowl closer to her. Dawson watched as his niece took her first bite of her favorite cereal.
She glared at him as she chewed, and he raised his eyebrows. After she swallowed, she said, “Just say what’s on your mind.”
“All right,” he said. “But I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“That’s why we come to breakfast,” she said. “So you’ll tell me the hard things, and I’ll have my favorite foods in front of me while you do it.” She flashed him a tiny smile, and Dawson returned it.
“He’s met your momma and daddy?” he asked.
“Yes,” April said. “They love him, and they both know that we’ve been talking about getting married. I don’t think it will be a surprise.”
“No, I don’t think so either,” Dawson said. “Are you still worried about Shiloh?”
April nodded, her mouth full of Honey Nut Cheerios.
He waited for her to finish, and she swallowed.
“Yeah, a little bit, but I’ve talked to her about it.
And she said, ‘It’s not like we live in the seventeen hundreds and the oldest daughter has to be married first.’ I just know—” April cut off and shook her head.
She blew her breath out and looked at him with eyes full of worry. Dawson’s heart hurt for her, because while she’d always forged her own path in life, she cared deeply about those around her.
“I just know she’s gonna be lonely,” she said. “And she’ll be happy for me, but sad for herself, and I don’t want to cause that.”
Dawson nodded. “It’s good that you’re worried about that,” he said. “Really, bug, it is. But you can’t let it drive your own decisions. You can’t let how she feels delay what’s right for you.”
April nodded. “I think he’s going to ask me to marry him tonight.”
Dawson’s eyebrows went up. “Oh, yeah?”
She nodded and swallowed, stirring her spoon through her cereal bowl without lifting up another bite. “Yeah, it’s the last night of Mary Poppins, and he’s taking me to dinner, and then he said he wants to go out to Big Sky Park and look at the stars.”
A sense of resignation moved through Dawson. “You guys met at Big Sky Park, didn’t you?”
April nodded and reached up and wiped the corner of her eye. “Yeah, we did. That’s why I think he’s gonna ask me tonight.”
“And what are you going to tell him?” Dawson asked.
She shrugged one shoulder, her gaze once again focused on the cereal she was letting get soggy. “I’m in love with him, Uncle Dawson.”
He reached across the table and patted her hand. “I know you are, buggy. You have been for a long time.”
She nodded. “And I know he loves me.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Dawson asked. “Why do you really think you need more time?”
Their pancakes arrived, and April pushed her cereal toward the end of the table. “I’m done with this, Linda. Thank you so much.”
“You sure, honey? You didn’t eat very much.” Linda set down the plate of buttermilk pancakes topped with fresh peaches and whipped cream a couple of inches high, and April adjusted the plate in front of her.
“Mm, yeah, I want this instead. It was really good, honest.”
“All right.” Linda gave Dawson his buckwheat pancakes and two orders of bacon, and then took away the cereal.
He picked up a piece of the sugary, spicy bacon first. “I really want you to answer that question, so give it a think if you need to. If you love him, and you know he loves you, and you’ve talked with your parents about it, and they like him.”
He waved his bacon left and right with everything he said.
“You guys have been together for over a year, and you’ll probably be together for another ten months before you get married.
You’ve talked to Shiloh, and yeah, it might be hard, but you have to live your own life, and you’re not doing something to hurt her purposely. ”
April started nodding along about halfway through. Dawson took a bite of his bacon, not sure if he needed to continue or not, but April didn’t jump in, so he forged forward with the tang of spice and the sweetness of the brown sugar in his mouth.
“Tell me what you’re really worried about.
You’re not disappointing anyone. You love him.
He loves you. I don’t see a problem. I don’t know why we’re here.
” He took another bite of the bacon and moaned in an over-exaggerated way.
“I mean, I’m not upset we’re here, but most of our conversations are much harder than this, and you have real worries on your mind.
Do you need my permission or something?”
She looked at him, her eyes so open and vulnerable. “No,” she said.
“Because if you do, I think you should marry him. I think you should’ve said yes when he asked you to be his in January.”
April rolled her eyes and forked off a bite of her peach pancakes. “It was too soon then.”
“Was it? Because you’ve been in love with him since then.” Dawson leaned back in the booth and folded his arms. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
April shook her head. “You’re not wrong.”
“He knows what he’s getting, April. He knew from the very first moment he met you. It’s not like you hide who you are.” She met his eyes again, and Dawson raised his eyebrows. “Right? You haven’t been pretending with him, have you?”
“No,” she whispered.
“And didn’t you tell me once that he didn’t ask you out for a few weeks, because he wasn’t sure if you’d say yes?”
She nodded.
“And why did he think you wouldn’t say yes?”
She looked out the window, pressed her lips together, and then took another bite of her peach pancakes, clear defiance in her eyes.
“Because he overheard you telling Shiloh not to be so emotional over the stars, right? And he thought you were a little intimidating.”
“I’m not intimidating,” April said.
“Not to me, buggy.” He grinned at her. “And now not to Louis, either. But you came off as salty the very first time he met you.” Dawson spread his butter around his buckwheat pancakes, enjoying the way it melted. “He knows who you are, April. He doesn’t need more time.”
“So I just tell him yes tonight?” April asked.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what you do,” Dawson said. “Let me tell you a little something about a man in love.” He cleared his throat and reached for his coffee cup. After taking a healthy swallow, he felt more in control.
“He’s putting his heart and life on the line tonight. It’s the ultimate chance for rejection, and though I’m absolutely positive you’ve told him that you love him, he’s still not sure what you’re going to say. It’s so nerve-wracking for men.”
April reached up and wiped her eyes again.
“So, yes,” Dawson said. “You tell him yes, and you mean it with everything you have. And if you have to laugh for joy, you do it so he can hear. And if it makes you cry, then you cry so he can see. He wants to make you happy, April, and he wants to be with you, and he also needs to know that you want to be with him.”
“I do,” April said. “How can he not know that?”
“I’m sure he does,” Dawson said. “But sometimes those of us that are a little salty forget how we come off. You’ve already told him no once, and I know you guys made it a joke, but it’s not a joke to him.”
April nodded, her eyes wide. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Dawson said, and he took a deep breath and focused on his pancakes.
They ate for a few minutes, and finally April looked at him again. “I’m gonna ask momma and Shiloh to help me get ready tonight.”
He nodded, his own happiness moving through him. “Good idea. You can tell them about the ring Louis bought, and that you think he’s going to propose tonight, and then it won’t be a surprise for anyone.”
“What if he doesn’t ask me?” April asked.
“Then he doesn’t,” Dawson said. “But I’m pretty sure he’s given you the hints you need, and I’ve never known Louis to beat around the bush.”
April shook her head. “No, he doesn’t.”
“Do you go out to Big Sky Park often?” Dawson asked.
“Yeah, we go every couple months,” April said. “When he wants to talk to me about something really serious.”
“Ah, he’s going to ask you,” Dawson said. “Can I give you one more piece of advice?”
April’s chin wobbled again, but she nodded.
“Try to enjoy it, buggy,” he said. “Hopefully, you’ll only get engaged once, and you love this man, and you love Big Sky Park. So if there’s any way that you can release your anxiety over this, I hope you will, because you should enjoy getting engaged.”
April sniffled and nodded. “I’ll try, Uncle Daws.”
“I’ll pray for you,” he said, and then he picked up his last piece of spicy candied bacon, fully prepared to enjoy it.