Chapter 23
Alayah
“Have a good day at work,” Killian said as he pulled up in front of the shop.
“You, too.”
I leaned over and pecked his lips, a habit I’d become too comfortable with. We hadn’t discussed what was going on between us, but there was definitely something brewing. The first time I’d kissed him in his office, I’d had to work up the nerve to do so.
My attraction to him was becoming overbearing, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Every time I looked at him, my face flushed.
I wasn’t used to my heart racing because of a man.
Every time we touched, I wanted the feeling to last a little longer.
Every time we kissed, I felt a warmth spread through my body that was foreign to me.
He was the calm.
The voice of reason.
He was peace like I’d never known.
I got out of the car, and the first person I saw was Londyn. She stood with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.
“Good morning, Londyn,” I said, with a smirk of my own.
“Don’t good morning me, heifer,” she exclaimed, playfully mushing me. “What was that?”
I giggled. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, walking up ahead of her. She quickly followed me into the building.
“Oh! So you’re just gon’ insult my intelligence and my eyesight like I didn’t just see you kiss that man?
Ms. I’m Not Looking for a Man is out here kissing fine-ass lawyers who drop her off to work.
Did you spend the night over there? Oh my God!
You did! Did you…you know? I bet you did.
You look like you’re in too good a mood, and only good dick can do that. ”
“Londyn, why do you ask me questions if you insist on answering them yourself?”
She laughed. “You know my mouth works faster than my brain sometimes, girl. I get overstimulated. I’ll be quiet. What’s up?”
I sighed as I sat at my desk and motioned for her to sit as well. She quickly copped a seat and crossed her legs. I took a deep breath and gave her the rundown of everything that had transpired over the last couple of days. She went through a range of facial expressions but ended up with a smile.
“You know you could have called me,” she said. “I would have been there to support you.”
“I didn’t want to burden you, Londyn.”
She scoffed. “If we’re gonna be besties, you have to understand that your burdens are my burdens.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve never really had a female best friend before. I’ve always just kind of kept to myself.”
“I get that. This is a new life for you, so I won’t take offense, but you have to start showing me some love.”
“How about I take you to lunch, wherever you want? I mean you’d have to drive, but I’ll pay.”
“I’ll take you up on that.” She leaned forward in her chair with a grin on her face. “So…when are you going to tell that man you love him?”
“Say what now? I never said I love him.”
“Maybe not, but it’s written all over your face, boo.
You might not realize it now, but you will.
I’ll be here to say I told you so.” She stood and walked to the door that led to the back.
“Oh, and I want a fish sandwich for lunch. Be ready at one, and you’re driving.
We really have to get you that license now. ”
She blew me a kiss before heading to the back. I shook my head as I relaxed into my chair. Her words echoed in my head. Did I love Killian? What did that look like? It was sad that as a woman approaching her thirties, I’d never known love outside of family and friendly relationships.
I’d missed out on so much of life and experiences. I didn’t know intimacy with a man that wasn’t filled with trauma. What the hell would I do if he touched me? How would I react? How would my body react? I wasn’t sure what to do with this influx of unfamiliar emotions I was feeling.
“Good morning, baby girl,” Uncle Clive spoke, breaking my thoughts.
I looked up to see him coming through the back door.
“Hey, Uncle Clive.”
I stood and went to hug him. He kissed my forehead before stepping back to look at me with a smile.
“I missed riding to work with you this morning,” he said.
“Right. No morning coffee stops. Did the girls sleep okay?”
“They slept well. I could hear them snoring through the walls,” he added with a chuckle. “How was your first night with Killian?”
“It was fine. His home is beautiful.”
“Are you comfortable there? He make you feel welcomed?”
“I’m comfortable, and yes, he did.”
“You let me know if I need to make other arrangements for you. I mean it. The first time he gives you the wrong vibe—”
“Uncle Clive, I promise Killian is a good person. I’ve known him since school, and he’s always been super nice to me. He’s a great friend.”
“We kiss our friends?”
I blushed, and it caused him to chuckle. “You saw that?”
“I did. But before I saw that, I saw you sitting in that man’s car in front of the house for hours the other week. You don’t even do that with Londyn, and I know you like her, even if it was forced.”
I giggled. “I like him. I just…I’m afraid to say anything. I don’t know how to handle men, Uncle Clive. The closest thing to a man I know is you.”
He laughed out loud. “The closest thing! Damn, baby girl. I at least thought I was a whole man.”
“I’m sorry. Wrong choice of words.”
“I know what you mean. Let me tell you this: When a man is worthy of you, he will make it easy for you to handle him because he will handle you with love, care, and respect. You won’t have to worry about who you are with him or who you need to be.
There’s no censorship or guilt about being vulnerable.
You simply get to be you.” He cupped my chin and smiled.
“You deserve that. If that happens to be with that young man, your aunt and I will support you.”
“Thank you, Uncle Clive, not just for being the best uncle, but the best father figure. I love you, and I’m so grateful for you.”
“I love you, too. Penny and I never got to have our own children, but you and your sisters have always held a special place in our hearts. We’ve got all our girls now—maybe not under the same roof, but we’ve got you.”
We shared another hug. God truly blessed me with him and Aunt Penny. Without them, I had no idea where I would be. I would have had nothing to come home to, no home to come home to. Prison would have been my home for the next twenty years. I owed them my life.
I wandered around the empty house, giving myself a solo tour. Londyn had dropped me off about twenty minutes ago since Killian was still at work. It was so quiet—too quiet. After ten years of constant noise, when it got too quiet, it made me anxious.
I decided to hook my phone up to the Bluetooth surround sound.
As the smooth sounds of “Brown Eyes” by Destiny’s Child blared through the speakers, I rummaged through the kitchen looking for something to cook for dinner.
I wanted to earn my keep around here. If the man wasn’t going to let me pay him for rent, the least I could do was make sure he had a hot meal when he walked through the door.
I found some pork chops unthawing in the fridge and decided to smother them along with some mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli.
I sang along to the music as I moved around the kitchen.
While I wasn’t the best singer, it reminded me of all the times I cooked dinner for my sisters, and they would be right there singing and dancing along with me.
I was miserable and still found a way to make the smallest things enjoyable for them. The song transitioned into “Chills” by Fatty Koo, and my singing got louder. I was so into the song that I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me until someone started singing along.
My head whipped around, and I was staring in the face of a woman who resembled Killian. As I looked closer, I recognized her from the pictures in his home as his sister. She smiled and laughed as she approached me.
“You were getting it in here, girl,” she said as I turned the music down. “I didn’t mean to scare you. We were on a walk, and Ellie had to use the bathroom. She knew you were here, and she just had to stop to see you, so I let myself in. I’m Bridget, Killian’s sister.”
“Alayah. Killian’s…friend.”
“I know who you are. My little brother used to talk about you all the time.”
“He did?”
“Girl, he had the biggest crush on you. I heard your name so much, I think he said it in his sleep.”
I blushed. Before I could respond, Ellie came running around the corner.
“I washed my hands, Mommy!” she said, raising her little hands for her mom to see. When she looked over and saw me, a big smile broke out on her face. “Ms. Alayah!”
She ran over to me with her arms out. I didn’t hesitate to scoop her up for a hug.
“Hi,” I said, smiling at her.
“Where have you been!”
“I had some family issues to take care of, Ellie.”
“Are they okay?”
I nodded. “Everything is okay now. Thank you for asking.”
“Mommy, this is Uncle Killian’s girlfriend,” she whispered loudly as she pointed at me. “The one with the freckers.”
Bridget laughed. “I know, baby.”
“We’re not—”
“Girl, if you aren’t, you will be. He told me you were here, and I just wanted to introduce myself.
I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so don’t be a stranger.
Maybe we can get together for a drink sometime.
Don’t worry, I have perfected the art of mocktails.
It won’t get you drunk, but it still tastes good. ”
I smiled. “That would be nice. Killian told me you live three houses down.”
“Yes.”
“Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“My dinner is in the crockpot. I just wanted to officially introduce myself to you. We can plan something for another day. You’re more than welcome to come to Sunday dinner with our family. Your little friend there has already told my parents you’re Killian’s girlfriend.”
“But she is, Mommy. I saw him kiss her.”
“It was a forehead kiss,” I explained.
“It was still a kiss,” Ellie said matter of factly.
I giggled. “I guess you’re right. “
“Uncle Killian told my mommy you live here now. Does that mean I get to come over and play with you?”
“I would love to play with you. You still owe me a movie date.”
“Yes! Mommy, doesn’t she look like Moana? Look at all her hair.” She fluffed the mass of curls on my head.
“You know what, you do,” Bridget agreed. “Anyway, I’m not gonna hold you up. We just wanted to say hi. Come on, Ellie. Daddy should be home.”
Ellie wrapped her little arms around my neck and squeezed. When she pulled away, she kissed my cheek.
“See you later, Ms. Alayah.”
“See you later, baby.”
I placed her on her feet, and she ran to her mother.
They headed for the front door, and as soon as they got to it, it opened.
Killian walked in and grabbed up Ellie, tossing her in the air.
She erupted in a fit of giggles as he smothered her face with kisses.
I smiled as I watched the interaction. I knew he loved that little girl like she was his own.
He and his sister spoke for a few minutes before she and Ellie left to go home.
He kicked off his shoes and set his things down before making his way into the kitchen to greet me.
“Hey, love,” he said, kissing my cheek.
“Hey.”
“You have it smelling good in here.”
“Thank you. I just wanted to show my appreciation for you letting me stay here.”
“Baby, I told you, I don’t need any thanks. I will take a plate of whatever you’re cooking though. My mouth is watering.”
I giggled as I opened the fridge and grabbed him a beer. “How was your day?”
“It was decent. I had court this morning. I finally got this client’s charges dropped, and I’m glad to be done with it.
She omitted so many things that she was about to send herself to prison.
Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with work.
I see you had visitors. I should have warned you she was coming to be nosy. ”
“She was nice, and Ellie was Ellie. The food will be done soon if you want to change into something comfortable.”
“Thank you, baby.”
He went to walk off, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He stepped into my space, lowering his gaze to me.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Don’t make me ask.”
“Nah, baby. Use your words. I want your consent.”
I never imagined that asking for consent could be so sexy. I swallowed hard as I peered up at him.
“I want a kiss.”
He smirked as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him.
Cupping my chin, he lowered his lips to mine, kissing me softly and slowly.
His tongue slipped into my mouth, and his free hand moved to the nape of my neck.
I felt his fingers thread through my hair, giving it a soft pull.
A moan slipped from my lips, catching me by surprise.
I pulled away from him, attempting to control my hormones. I turned back to the stove, completely flustered.
“You good?” he asked, touching the small of my back.
“Mmm-hmm,” was all I could offer.
I heard him chuckle as he left the kitchen. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply.
“Calm down, girl,” I told myself. “You don’t even know if you’re ready for all that yet.”
Even as I said the words, I wasn’t sure if I believed them. I hadn’t been touched in ten years, not by me…not by anyone. I didn’t know the first thing about real pleasure. Did I really want to go experimenting? Londyn’s voice entered my head.
“You better play with yourself like a DJ scratching a record in the club.”
I giggled to myself. Maybe I needed to test those waters to see if I even had a sex drive.