Where She Is (Where She Is #1)

Prologue

I’m here to give Rob my answer. He will not like it.

My fingers struggle to get the key in the lock, so calmly, I take one step back, close my eyes and draw a deep breath.

I’ve got to pull myself together. Try again .

Success! The key slides straight inside.

As I walk into our hallway, my clammy hands lose their grip and the door slams behind me.

An icy feeling prickles my skin as a musky smell burns my nasal passage.

I walk towards the bedroom door and stop in my tracks.

I swear to God; I hear something or was it my imagination?

And what the hell is that smell? Sex? Could someone be having sex in my bed!

I place my ear against the door in time to catch faint whispers and shuffling on the carpet.

It could be Rob. That’s it. He came home early.

But why would he be whispering? Oh my God, what if it’s not him! Holy shit!

I walk backwards, grabbing an umbrella from the stand in the hallway.

Knees bent and my weapon of choice above my head, I’m poised to attack.

My heart deafens me with its insistent pounding as I inhale deeply.

I twist the door handle and give it a forceful push and it slams into the rear wall.

Then, the scene before me unfolds in slow motion .

Rob is naked, on all fours and searching the floor.

The brunette on the other side of the bed is throwing the duvet around, probably in search of her underwear.

Freeze frame. He stares at me. I look at her.

She glances at him. I have no idea what to do.

My feet stick to where I stand, although my balance is off.

A loud thud breaks the silence as my bag drops from my shoulder and the umbrella falls through my weak hands.

The noise jolts Rob into action as he retrieves his boxers and heads straight for me.

“Sugar, this is not how it looks.”

I raise my trembling palms in front of him, stopping him dead in his tracks.

I try to take in the scene in front of me.

Words whisper from my mouth, “This is not happening.” I swallow the hard lump that burns my throat.

Oh God, oh God, oh God! Why is there no air in this room?

I turn away, but he catches my arm, swinging me round.

Again, I hold up my other hand, closing my eyes.

I want to say my piece before he has the chance to make excuses.

“No. Please don’t try to explain another woman in our bed, when—” Less than twelve hours ago, you asked me to marry you. I’m dumbstruck at his tormented face. It pulls at my heartstrings for a split second until I realise it’s me suffering this torture.

“I meant every word I said last night, Hannah. Don’t go, I need you. You’re so important to me, please let me explain and listen to what I have to say. Please.”

I try to break free from the tight hold he has on my wrist. I can see from the corner of my eye how his guest is also in a state of panic while she attempts to find the rest of her clothes.

She throws back the duvet. My duvet. As she gathers her things together, I catch her mumbled, “Jesus Christ, Rob. You said she wouldn’t be back. ”

It’s no use, I can’t break free from his grip. My fists clench, my posture straightens, and I find my voice through gritted teeth. “Who the fuck are you?”

She attempts to balance on one leg while pulling her red lacy panties over each ankle.

Her eyes meet mine and shine while across her bitch face is the most condescending smile.

Dark waves of glossy hair cover one eye.

She blows it away mid-jump, using the corner of her smirking mouth. “I’m the bitch who keeps him happy.”

I’m still for a moment while the realisation of her words hits me. She is not a stranger to my home. With no thought, my body surges forward. “You fucking whore!”

Rob pulls me to his side, but I push his body away and try to grab her by the hair.

I miss my target as she reaches for her t-shirt and her ramblings continue.

“Stupid cow. You must be as thick as shit!” My heart drums an uncontrollable beat against my chest while the volume of my breathing blocks out any rational thoughts.

All I register in the moments leading up to losing my self-control is the rush of blood through my veins.

Rob struggles to keep his grasp on me as my legs and arms kick and punch the air, but the intruder in our flat is my real target.

“Get the fuck out of here, you bitch! Get out! This is my flat, my bed! I want you out!”

Her whiny tone winds my inner coil up tighter.

“Your bed? I’d rethink that love. I’m so used to this place, I almost consider it home myself!”

Rob’s nostrils contract. He takes a deep breath and I’ve never heard the tenor of his voice reach such depths. “Don’t do this to her Sadie, you’re being a bitch. You knew the score.” Disbelief spreads across her previously smug face... and mine.

“You said it was over, Robert.”

Robert? Nobody calls him Robert apart from his mother. Who is this bloody bitch?

He loses it. “Leave! ”

Her mouth forms the oddest shapes as she tries to speak. “What… Robert… you’re… you’re serious?”

His eyes close and I watch his Adam's apple grind against his throat. “Completely.” His fingers run through his mop of sandy hair, reaching the nape of his neck where he massages. “Just go.”

There’s a pause before she takes a step, her frame is rigid and her eyes focused. Then I make out her muttered words, “Stupid bitch.”

Who cares. Let her say what she wants. She’s the one leaving, not me. I shift my glare to Rob, and the excuses pour.

“She’s no one Sugar, I promise.”

The brunette turns with a look of sheer horror. “What did you say?”

“Get out, Sadie.”

Yes, boyfriend-stealing bitch, get lost. Her slow, deliberate steps close in.

I notice her set teeth, and a red blush runs from her neck to her ears.

Drawing her arm backward, she swipes across his face with her open palm.

The full force of her body weight causes a vibration which echoes around the room.

I wince at the sound while Rob nurses his swollen cheek. She spits the words, “You bastard.”

I will not deny he deserved that slap, but it’s not within her gift to throw the punches. She has no right to be here. I look towards her in disbelief. Why is this all about you? He is MY boyfriend. Mine! My fisted hands cause my nails to dig into my palms while she continues her verbal assault.

“I won’t accept the way you’ve treated me, Robert.

I’ll drag your shitty name through the mud, you can be sure of that.

” Her condescending eyes travel from my head to my toes.

“I don’t know if you’ve realised it yet, but he’s shit in bed.

Mind you, from what he tells me, he doesn’t get much practice. ”

I’m about to charge for her as she confidently turns on her heels, but again, Rob catches my arm and does his best to restrain me. When the door bangs shut, I return my attention to my bastard boyfriend and shake my arm free.

“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you near me again!”

“Calm down, please, sugar, I can explain what happened.”

I pace the room, hands on hips, trying to catch my breath.

If he glances at me one more time with those sorrowful eyes, I will scream.

My body slumps against the wall to steady my weak legs.

They give up and I slide a cold path to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. He crouches by my side, and I meet his attempt to hug me with a slap.

His body slumps next to mine, this time taking care not to make contact.

I’ve never been so angry, hurt, and disgusted.

The haze of my tears hypnotises me. Seconds, minutes, hours have passed in silence. Rob is against the wall, knees pulled up to his chin, hands wrapped around his legs. He has no clue what to do.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Hannah. I am so sorry.” Avoiding his gaze, I rub the side of my hand across my wet lashes. “We’re not togeth er, sugar. She thinks we are, but we’re not.”

The burn in my throat continues, when I ask, “How long have you been seeing her?” I sound calm. I’m anything but.

“Sugar, listen to me-”

“I asked you how long. No bullshit.”

His delay tactics are pathetic. He looks towards the heavens and calculates the time in which he’s been an utter bastard.

“Three months, maybe more.”

Tears spill down my face as I squeeze my eyes shut.

I enjoy the sullen silence while my breathing evens out, and my heartbeat slows.

If I was still the na?ve girl he first met, I’d want to know everything.

How they met, how it started and why. I don’t because I’ve been here before with him and I have all his answers.

The difference is, this time, he can’t convince me to stay.

All right, I’m done. I slap my hands to my thighs.

It’s time to go . I push my palms against the soft carpet and when I get to my feet, Rob jumps to attention.

“Sugar?”

“I’ll arrange a day to pick up my stuff.”

“No Hannah, please, you can’t do this!”

“Yes, I can.” I wipe the last of my tears, take his hand and shake it formally.

His eyes narrow, “What the fuck?”

“Thank you, Rob. Thank you so much. You’ve just made my decision so much easier.”

“Hannah? Hannah, please no. Please don’t leave. Talk to me… please!”

I lift my bag over my shoulder and flick my fringe to show my determined blue eyes.

Tall, and sure of myself, I walk to the door.

My head is full of plans for the future which block out Rob’s plea for me to stay.

As I leave the flat that has been home for the last three years, my thoughts turn to the acceptance letter I’ve written.

I had my doubts when I came here, now Rob has given me the push I needed to start something new.

I will take this amazing opportunity by the balls and place all my faith in the unknown.

I just hope Australia is the answer and everything I need it to be.