Chapter One #2
It was funny her husband thought every man was interested in her and thought to steal her away from him.
Due to his own horrible attitudes—and her visible bruises sometimes visible in society—no man ever looked her way unless it was in pity.
Also, there was no doubt in her mind that the duke would kill them.
“No man has tried to win me from you in all the years of our marriage.” With a frown, she concentrated her gaze on the rabbit as it nibbled a blade of grass. What must it be like to know a moment’s peace and have no worries pressing into one’s mind?
There was no warning with the exception of a few heavy bootfalls, and as soon as she turned to face the duke, he was there.
Grabbing her upper arms, he slammed her against the window so hard that the back of her head knocked on the glass.
His fingers dug into her arms as he held her gaze; anger roiled in those brown depths.
“I don’t know where this sudden attitude of umbrage has come from, but I don’t enjoy it.” The duke gave her a shake that knocked her teeth together. “See that it’s gone by the time we leave for Surrey, or that might prove your last trip.”
Because you’ll kill me? But she didn’t dare to voice the thought aloud. Instead, she glared at him until he released her. Though her heartbeat still raced and icy fear continued to spiral down her spine, she nearly wilted with relief, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.
“No back talk. Better.” He gave a curt nod then he strode over the floor to the door once again. Over his shoulder, he said, “I expect you to represent the title in a fitting manner while I’m at the opera tonight.”
Near tears, Angelica regarded the window again.
How much more of this life can I take? “As if I haven’t deported myself properly all these years,” she muttered beneath her breath while watching a rabbit hop about the grass in the square.
Regardless, her heart gave an odd little flutter, for discussing Mr. Marsden was the most exciting thing that had graced her life in some time.
“Besides, why wouldn’t I? I have met Mr. Marsden quite a few times now.
He is a decent sort, and has a lovely sense of humor.
A good dining companion, at least.” There was no need to worry about contracting indigestion from topics of conversation with him.
And no need to fear that something she’d said would incite him to violence.
“Very well. And then see that your maid finishes the damned packing!” Then Tittleford exited the room, leaving Angelica to her thoughts.
Once she was certain that he wouldn’t double back into the room, she moved to the nearest chair and then collapsed into it.
Tears welled in her eyes, for everything was ruined and tainted by her husband’s whims and actions.
Just when she’d thought he might have decided to leave her alone, he did something like this.
Of course, it could have been worse. He could have pummeled or slapped her.
Thank goodness he hadn’t. Now she didn’t need to hide bruises before dinner tonight.
God, what am I going to do?
Knowing Mr. Marsden was in residence for a meeting with the duke was one thing, but it was quite another to have a dinner ahead of her that would put her alone in his company. Was she looking forward to it? Yes, yes, she was, but she couldn’t wait for the duke to be away on business more.
As she wiped at the moisture on her cheeks, her thoughts focused on Mr. Marsden, the solicitor.
She didn’t know much about him personally, for they weren’t often given time alone for conversation before the duke recalled him for business.
With him at dinner, the conversation would, at least, center around her, for he wasn’t selfish like the duke. That lifted her spirits a bit.
The odd but undeniable, and at times quite disturbing, attraction that simmered between them would once more be at the forefront during that meal.
How could it not? Even a blind man could see the tension that crackled each time he was in the same room with her.
It made everything more exciting, and she adored it because she’d never had that from her husband in all the years of their marriage.
Of course she and Mr. Marsden had done nothing to act upon those feelings—though she would be well within her rights since her husband had never been faithful during the whole of their union—but they’d exchanged speaking glances at times, and there was the accidental brush of fingers during a hand off of a teacup, to say nothing of the fleeting meetings in corridors for a few last, rushed words of goodbye.
At this point, she considered him a friend, but there was the great temptation of wishing for more between them.
Did he know how the duke treated her? She’d been too cowardly to ask, yet to be fair, she was never left alone in his company for long enough for a hushed, clandestine conversation.
If he did, how did that make him feel? Was he of the same mind when it came to treating women like inferiors?
How could a man with kind eyes like him think that? Truly, she would probably never know.
However, seeing him always brightened her days when he was in residence.
The fact that Mr. Marsden would perhaps accompany them to the Surrey property gave her back a bit of hope, and she hadn’t had that in a long time.
What was more, there was a little glimmering light in her future where there was only darkness before.
Quite frankly, she fully intended to enjoy the time in the country while the solicitor was with her.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve looked forward to anything.
There was a secret she’d been keeping for more than a few months, though.
What the duke didn’t know was that she planned to remain at the country estate indefinitely, regardless of what he wished for her to do.
The dower house had sat unused for ten years, ever since her mother-in-law had passed from this world.
It was a dear little property, tucked away about a half mile from the manor with a wooded area behind it and plenty of shrubberies around.
And there was a rear garden, no doubt overrun by nature at this point, but it sounded like heaven to putter there and forget about the world.
She couldn’t bear to keep up appearances as his wife any longer, couldn’t in good conscience go about society with him at her side to make everyone think their union was happy and endearing.
I am just done with all of that.
Everything within her regarding her husband had died long ago once she’d figured out what sort of a man he truly was.
She’d given over twenty years of her life to the duke, and that was quite enough.
Now it was time to live for her own pursuits and happiness, for she didn’t want the next twenty years of her life to be spent in fear, pain, and despair.
There must be more to this existence than all of that.
And perhaps at some point, she might learn how to love herself despite her poor choices.