7. Summer 19
Iwas not expecting to be woken up at 5:30 this morning by the tapping of Andrew’s knuckles on my window. I stayed up till 12:30 last night finishing my book. It was completely worth it until my sleep was interrupted prematurely.
Groaning, I roll out of bed, pulling the covers off the bed with me. I pick them up off the floor immediately, arranging them properly before I open my window to speak to Andrew. Watching me, he shakes his head with a knowing smile on his face.
Immediately upon opening the window, Andrew teases, “You just had to pick the covers off the floor?”
“Yes! I don’t understand why everyone always gives me crap for it. It makes absolutely no sense to me that it’s normal to live in a pigsty but laughable to like things clean and organized.”
“Do you think I live in a pigsty?”
“Well, no, but sometimes Rebecca’s room was like one.” The lack of sleep and abrupt wakeup call is clearly leaving me flustered. “Why’d you wake me? I was up late reading, and the sun isn’t even up yet.”
Andrew opens his mouth to explain, but when I see he’s dressed for a run, I cut him off. “It’s too dark to run. Go back to bed and we can go later.”
“I’m just following through on my promise to run with you.” He bats his eyes innocently.
“Couldn’t you have followed through yesterday or tomorrow… a day when I got more than five hours of sleep?”
“You can nap later. Just imagine how nice it’ll feel to sleep in the sun on the dock this afternoon,” he coaxes. “Get dressed. I promise it’ll be worth it.”
I give him a dramatic moan but head toward my dresser to grab shorts and a tank top anyway. That damn smile spreads across his face again as he takes a step away from the window to give me some privacy. “I’ll meet you in five minutes at the end of your driveway.”
Five minutes later, we are waiting for my watch to connect with the satellites. It emits a triumphant beep, and I hit start as we get going. Even without the sun beating down on us, the air still has a summer warmth.
Andrew, the track star he is, takes off from the start. “Hang on there, buddy.” I tug on the back of his shirt, pulling him in line with me again. “No need to take off right out of the gate when we are running for distance.”
He gives me a puppy dog look. “But I’m just so excited to be out running!” Quickly, his pout turns into a teasing smile.
“Well, you just woke me up five minutes ago, and I’m still shaking the sleep off. You’re running with me to keep me accountable for going, not to whip my butt back into shape.”
“That’s what you think.” He smirks. When I shoot him a glare, he quickly retracts his statement. “I’m just kidding, Em. Relax! This is supposed to be something you enjoy.”
“I am enjoying it, minus being completely sleep-deprived.”
“Not much of a morning person anymore, huh? Now you know what Rebecca must’ve felt like.” His laughter is tainted by a hint of sadness at the memory of his sister.
“I’m still a morning person. Years of waking up early for cross-country practice doesn’t outweigh a few months of not training. You just caught me by surprise. Even when I woke up early for practices, I still regimented my sleep so that I was getting seven to eight hours of sleep every night.”
“You always amazed me.”
“Past tense?”
He gives me a soft smile, and I feel my cheeks heat. “You still do.”
We shuffle on for a little while before I feel compelled to ask, “Why’d you drag me out here so early? I didn’t think you were that much of a morning person yourself, let alone a morning runner.”
He gives an exaggerated wheeze. “I’m not a runner. I’m dying already.”
I nudge his side with my elbow. “Just imagine how you’d be doing if we were still going the pace you started at.”
He holds up his hands in surrender. “You were right as always. What else can I say?”
“You can say that again.” This time, the smug smile is on my face, and it feels good.
We reach the T in the road, and he turns right. I slow a bit in hesitation but follow him anyway. “You never explained why you dragged me out of bed for a run so early this morning.” Realization hits me as we head toward the other side of the lake.
“It’s a surprise!” Those words are the only clarification I need.
After another three-quarters of a mile, we reach the lookout point Rebecca and I would sit at weekly to watch the sunrise. Tears quickly well up in my eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this. It’s too soon. It’s too weird doing it without Rebecca.” I begin to step back, ready to turn around and head straight home.
Before I can, Andrew wraps me in his arms. “I know you think you can’t, but you can. You’re not going to do it alone. I’ll be right here. You know Rebecca wouldn’t want you to stop doing this on her behalf. Besides, this is going to be way different from when you and Rebecca would come here. I brought us snacks.”
I look up at his smiling eyes with curiosity, laughter bubbling up inside of me at his nonchalant mention of food. He walks away from the lookout point back toward the road, and I notice his truck sitting there. I hear the chirp of the doors unlocking, and he opens one of the rear doors. He pulls out a cooler and two packages of muffins from Costco.
“Snacks, huh? Looks more like a meal to me,” I muse.
The delight on his face is clear. “Yeah, I may have gotten a little excited when I went to Costco yesterday.”
He sets the stuff down for a second while he grabs a thick blanket from his truck. He spreads it out on the grass and then begins setting up the food. There’s double chocolate and apple crumb muffins, both of which I can gobble up any time, any day. He also pulls out orange juice, two plastic cups, a container of strawberries, and oranges. He pours us each some orange juice and begins peeling open an orange. I tear into the muffin packages.
“You’re incredible, Andrew! How’d you pull this off?”
“It wasn’t the easiest plan to execute. I packed everything up and left it here overnight. Then I rode my bike back home. I had to carefully pick the food I brought because I wanted to make sure it could sit in my truck for several hours overnight. The cooler only helps so much with the temperature warming up.” He sips his orange juice. “Seems like everything stayed cold to me.” He lifts his cup to show me.
“Will you split one of each muffin with me?”
He looks between the two packages. “There are twelve muffins here, and two of us. Do we need to share?”
A laugh slips out. “I know we just ran, but those muffins are huge.”
He nods and begins cutting a chocolate muffin in half. He hands me the bigger half, and I take it without any complaints. I sink my teeth into it, and it’s perfect, pillowy soft, and slightly melty from sitting in his warm truck. “Mmmm!” I can’t contain my glee.
His entire face lights up at my sound of approval. In that moment, he reminds me of a puppy, eager to please. Between bites of muffin, I say, “Thank you for doing this. This was so sweet, and I have to admit, I’m enjoying myself.”
He sets his muffin down gently. “It was my pleasure, Em.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. The look on his face gets serious. “Besides, there’s a part of me that feels responsible, as Rebecca’s twin, for carrying on her legacy and making sure things are the way she would’ve wanted them.”
Understanding, I nod. “I can see that. Just don’t let it consume you. And don’t forget to put yourself first! You know there’s things she would want for you too, so don’t let your efforts to help other people realize their potential keep you from meeting yours.”
“I know. I know.” He trails off.
“She always saw the best in people. She saw past my shyness, helped me to get out of my comfort zone, and pushed me to try new things when I never would’ve done it on my own.”
He leans into me a little as if he can’t carry the weight of this moment on his own. “Yeah, she was always good at that. I hope you know we don’t need Rebecca to be good people. She made it a hell of a lot easier, but we can hold each other responsible now.”
“You’re already doing it for me.” I lean back into him the slightest bit.
“You are for me, too,” he insists. “I wouldn’t be out here, running or setting up this amazing breakfast if it weren’t for you.”
My insides warm. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything for Andrew. I don’t think anything I can do for him will ever be enough with how incredible he is, but it’s nice to hear he feels like I’m helping him in some way.
We watch the sunrise in silence, beautiful golden rays peek over the mountain tops across the water and shoot through the bits of soft clouds in the sky overhead. A red line paints the edges of the mountains like a watercolor, indicating the day will be a hot one. I forgot how incredible these moments are. I’m sure the delicious bite of muffin in my mouth and this person whose existence I cherish in a more than platonic way adds to the experience.
“I can’t believe I was going to completely give this up,” I mutter.
Andrew pulls his eyes away from the stunning sky for a moment to look at me. “You’re here now. You didn’t give it up. Promise me you won’t, even if I can’t be with you every time.”
I don’t like the thought of being here alone with my thoughts, but I agree anyway. It’s hard to say no to Andrew. He has this pure heart that makes me want to give him the world. He’s just Andrew, the boy I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember. “I promise.”