21. Summer 17
Music drifts lazily from Rebecca’s Bluetooth speaker while the two of us bask in the sun on the Martins’ dock, enjoying one of the few afternoons we have together, just the two of us.
Propping herself up onto her elbows, Rebecca turns down the volume. “So, it’s been weeks since Andrew broke up with Angelina. I’ve tried not to push the issue, but I’m not very patient. What’s going on with you two?”
I frown. “We were having such a nice afternoon. Do we have to talk about Andrew right now?”
“That right there is exactly why I’m asking! You haven’t said much of anything about him since the camping trip. I thought you liked him. He’s single now! What’s holding you back?”
“It’s complicated, Becs. I kept trying to get up the courage to talk with him, but we always get interrupted, or he says something that makes me think maybe I read everything wrong that happened that day. It’s fine. We’re in a good place now. I’m not going to mess with it. Andrew and I are never going to happen. I’ve made my peace with it,” I say hoarsely.
Rebecca scoffs. “Yeah, right!”
“Please just drop it. I don’t… I can’t… it just won’t work, Becs.”
I meet her eyes, and her gaze softens. She sits up all the way, reaching out and wrapping me up in a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay, Emma. I promise I haven’t noticed anything off between the two of you. You just need to get out of your head. You overthink things way too much.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have any sense of crippling self-doubt.”
“I don’t have it because I won’t allow it. When the doubts creep in, I tell them to get the hell out, and I keep moving. You should try it sometime.” She winks.
“Maybe someday,” I say dreamily.
Rebecca turns the volume back up on the speaker and scrolls through her phone for another song. “Okay, okay, one more song for you. You’ll love this one. No question.”
I settle back down onto my towel. “You seem very confident. What’s the story with this one?” I ask, knowing Rebecca always has a story for the songs she introduces me to.
She shakes her head. “No story this time. I just heard it and immediately thought of you. Listen to the words carefully.”
She hits play, and I listen intently. It’s the story of a man who is in love with his friend. He wants to tell her how he feels, but he’s terrified of ruining their relationship by exposing his true feelings for her. Eventually, he can’t contain it anymore and asks her to be his. It’s a sweet song, and it’s beautifully done. From the singing to the music to the lyrics, it’s all perfect.
The song wraps up, and I look over at Rebecca. “What’s it called?”
“‘Porch Swing Angel’ by Muscadine Bloodline.”
“Send it to me,” I say eagerly.
She beams. “Will do.” As she sits up, she assesses the scene around us. “Alright, I’m tired of lying around, and I’m out of new music for you.”
I sit up too. “Okay, then what do you want to do?”
She brings her pointer finger and her thumb up to her chin to give her best thinking look, but I know her better than that. She has had this planned out for a while. I can see it on her face. “How about we climb the water tower?”
“Veto!” I cringe.
“Well fine, but you don’t get any more vetoes.” It takes her less than a second to suggest another idea. “There are these cliffs about a ten-minute walk from here that are a popular jumping off point. A lot of people from my high school go there, and I’ve always wanted to try it. We should go.”
I give her a hesitant look. “Becs, you know I love you, and I surprisingly still trust your judgment most of the time, even after the tequila incident, but I’m not sure about this one. I’ll openly admit I’m a chicken.”
She sighs. “Come on! You already used your veto. Let’s just go check them out, and then you can decide. It’s not like we don’t have the time to kill.”
I tilt my head to one side as I consider it. “All right, fine. We can go look, but if I decide I don’t want to do it, you can’t force me.”
She begins standing before I even finish my sentence. “Done. Absolutely! I promise!” I can practically feel the excitement buzzing off of her. “I’ll text Andrew to meet us there. He should be wrapping up his training by now.”
As I peer over the edge of the cliffs, my stomach turns into a gymnast, performing somersaults and cartwheels. It has to be at least ten feet down to the water. Standing at the top looking down, it looks like a long way to fall.
Rebecca scoots an inch closer to the edge, and panic rises inside of me, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Yup, that’s it. I’m not doing this. “Okay, Becs. We saw it, and I say I can’t do it. There’s no way.”
She schlumps her shoulders and gives me a pouty look. “Please! It looks so fun. How about you watch me and Andrew do it first? That’ll show you it’s perfectly safe.”
My eyes grow round. “If I don’t want to do it, what makes you think I’m okay with sitting by and watching you do it? It looks dangerous.”
“I told you I’ve seen plenty of people come to this exact spot and jump. I have yet to hear of someone who got hurt here.”
“Exactly. You haven’t heard of anyone getting hurt yet. It’s only a matter of time.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m such a bad influence on you. You’re getting so dramatic.” I can’t help but laugh at her remark as she continues. “Andrew will be here any second, and he’s going to tell you to do it too.”
As if he had been waiting for his cue, Andrew pulls up right then. He throws his truck in park and hops out. Wearing a sweat-stained muscle tank and shorts that are cut several inches above the knee, his ensemble shows off every muscle in his back and shoulders. His triceps and his thick quads have a fresh post-workout pump. Realizing I’ve been staring, I immediately turn to look back over the edge of the cliff.
Under her breath, Rebecca mutters, “Wipe the drool off your face. Goodness, Emma! You’ve got it bad.” As if she didn’t just turn me speechless and redder than my still-damp bathing suit, Rebecca turns to Andrew without missing a beat. “Andrew, thank God you got here when you did. Emma doesn’t want to jump off the cliff because she’s too scared.”
I whip my head in her direction. “I am not too scared! I said it looked dangerous. I’m not looking to finish my summer in the emergency room.”
Andrew takes the two of us in and bursts into a fit of laughter. “Let me get a look at this cliff,” he suggests as he walks in our direction.
As he looks over the edge, I watch his face closely. He looks completely unfazed. That little daredevil! I should’ve known he’d betray me like this.
He turns back to Rebecca and me. “It looks fun.”
“See!” Rebecca erupts with excitement. “Let’s go! I’ll even go first if it makes you feel better,” she says, getting way ahead of herself.
“I already told you that won’t help,” I mutter, my attention beginning to move toward Andrew who is tugging his tank top off in preparation for jumping in the cool water.
Rebecca snaps her fingers in my face. “Earth to Emma! Don’t think I don’t see what’s going on here. Focus or you will end up getting hurt on these things.”
“That’s it! I’m out! You guys can jump to your deaths, but I don’t want any part of this.”
Rebecca laughs. “I’m just teasing you. Come on! Andrew, tell her she should do it.”
Andrew nods. “Don’t make me bribe you with books and ice cream again.” He winks, and I feel my cheeks flush.
I casually laugh and swat at him. We are just friends. We are just friends. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“Nope.” The twins say in unison. I hate it when they do that. It freaks me out.
Rebecca begins shuffling toward the edge of the cliff, clearly eager to jump into the abyss.
Andrew teeters between wanting to be the first one in and trying to convince me I should just jump with them.
I see convincing me wins out because he steps toward me, reaching out for my elbow as Rebecca gets a running start and leaps out, shrieking with glee as her feet leave the ground. I hear the splash and rush over to the edge, watching anxiously for her to pop out of the lake.
She bursts up shortly after, sputtering water and wearing a huge grin. “You guys have to try that! The feeling when you think you should be hitting the water but still haven’t? It’s amazing!” Between gasps of air, she adds, “Emma, tell your doubts to go to hell and get in the water! You won’t regret it.”
Her delight and easygoing advice make me want to go, but there’s still the part of me that is terrified of the drop. With all that distance, there’s lots of room for things to go wrong.
Andrew’s hand connects with my elbow, drawing my attention back to him and away from my chaotic thoughts. “Stop overthinking it. I promise we won’t let anything happen to you.” After a beat, he asks, “Will you do it with me? At the same time? I’ll hold your hand.”
My whole body feels tingly at the thought, but I’m still feeling unsure. He must see it on my face because he just grabs my hand. “Make room, Rebecca! We’re coming,” he hollers.
He pulls me slightly and I willingly walk toward the cliff. I move to peer over the ledge again, and he grabs my chin, pulling my face to look at him. “Don’t look down again.”
“I have to know where I’m jumping,” I argue.
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course, I do, but this is about a little more than trusting you,” I claim.
“There’s nothing down there to get caught on. Just jump out, and you’ll be fine,” he instructs. I nod my head the slightest bit. He smiles. “Good. On the count of three. One…two…three!”
He leaps out with my hand still in his, and I have no choice but to jump too. Rebecca’s right. There’s a moment or two when I think I should be hitting the water by now, but we are still suspended in the air. Then comes the shock of the cool water, rushing up my nose and swallowing me up from my toes to my head.
I rush up to the water, gasping for air. “Holy crap!” I just did that!
Andrew comes up shortly after me, looking much calmer. He is beaming. “You did it, Em!”
Rebecca interjects, “We all did it, and not a single one of us died.” I narrow my eyes in a glare at Rebecca, but she isn’t deterred. “What’d you think? Want to do it again?”
“It was exciting, but I’m not going to tell you that you were right.” I chuckle.
Rebecca begins splashing to get out of the water. She reaches a hand out to me as she gets to my side. “Come on. We are so doing that again.”
Rebecca drags me out of the water to climb back up the cliff. Getting up is way harder than coming down. We are soaking wet and barefoot as we clamor up the dirt path, grabbing onto the occasional tree root jutting out from the ground to help pull ourselves up the steep slope.
At the top, Rebecca leans into me. “He looooves you,” she teases.
“What are you talking about?”
She gestures out to the cliff edge where we jumped a couple minutes ago. “I know Andrew. He would’ve wanted to be the tough guy who jumped first, but instead, he stayed back and helped you get in. He held your hand and was patient with you. He adores you. I can see it.”
I shake my head. “I told you, I already screwed it up, and things have been back to normal again between us, so I’m not going to try anything. Andrew and I are just friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”
She smirks. “I can’t wait to be the maid of honor at your wedding and tell everyone about this exact moment during my speech.”
A smile breaks out on my face, and I lean my shoulder into her. “Alright, Miss Daredevil, let’s see you jump again.”
“Wow, you want to get rid of me that badly that you’re sentencing me to cliff-jumping now?” she says with a lighthearted tone.
I give her a look indicating she’s being ridiculous. She reaches her hand out to me. “Alright, bestie, I want my turn jumping in with you.”
“Do I have to?”
“Hell yes you have to,” she insists. “If you’ll do it with Andrew, then you have to do it with me.” She pouts. “Please.”
I grab her hand in answer, and she instantly becomes cheery again. “You know I only push you because you get in your head too much, right? I know you want to do these things but won’t on your own. I’m proud of you. Look at all you’ve done just this summer.”
Her words touch me and make me want to jump five more times just for her. I know Rebecca would do a lot for me, and I hope she knows I’d do the same. “Thanks, Becs.”
She acts nonchalant as if she isn’t an absolute gift in my life, and we walk a little closer to the edge.
“Should we count to three?”
“Yeah. One… two… three!”
We push off the edge. As we are falling, I notice Andrew still in the water. I had assumed he was following us up the trail, but there he is, treading water right where Rebecca is about to land.
The whole moment moves in slow motion, and yet it doesn’t go slow enough for me to say anything.
I hear Andrew shout, and then I’m in the water. I rush up to the surface as fast as I can, desperate to find the aftermath. Rebecca is at the surface too, but I don’t see Andrew.
“What happened?” Alarm fills my voice.
Cupping her elbow, Rebecca replies, “I think I bonked Andrew. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Then where is he?”
Rebecca instantly pales, and I watch her calm demeanor turn into pure panic. We part from each other and splash around searching for Andrew.
After a moment, I see Rebecca struggling to tug him up, so I rush to help. As I grab onto his arm, I instantly feel the dead weight, making my stomach sink. Please let him be okay! How did this happen? I knew this was a bad idea! But I can’t say any of that. The fear and guilt on Rebecca’s face is clear as day. I need to keep her calm.
We finally get Andrew onto the shore, and I take him in. He’s pale, but it looks like he’s breathing. Thank goodness!
“He’s knocked out cold,” I remark in surprise, careful not to say anything to indicate it was Rebecca’s fault. It truly was an accident.
She turns to me. “What do we do?”
“I… I’m not sure,” I respond, disappointed in myself for not being better in this situation. “Call 9-1-1?” I ask more than tell her.
With tears welling in her eyes, Rebecca looks at me with fear, an emotion I’ve never seen on her brave face. “This was a terrible idea! What was I thinking?”