Chapter 5 Girls Night #3
“I’m so sorry,” I blurt, turning back to her.
“I thought, when I saw you this morning, with him, with your son… the way he was with you both—I didn’t know what to think.
He’s been gone for so long and I just…” My lungs tighten, forcing me to breathe.
“I thought the worst. Not that it would have been the worst, just that—”
“Hey, hey.” Sarah reaches over, curling her hand around mine. Her eyes soften, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she waits for me to calm down.
“He’s done nothing but talk about you, about how badly he messed up.
” Her gaze falls to Halle, then back to me.
“Hunter’s got a lot to answer for. He and I…
We were there for each other growing up; we both come from shitty backgrounds.
When he came back, he found me in a different shitty situation, only this time, I had Remi with me.
Why he left and didn’t contact anyone is his story to tell.
I’ve already kicked his ass once, and will continue to until he makes things right.
” She squeezes my hand. “But please know we are strictly platonic. Best friends, Uncle Hunt kind of way.”
I really thought the worst here. I hate that I did that.
The shame of it stings, because Sarah has been nothing but kind, nothing but welcoming.
I didn’t need to build a wall against her the second I saw her.
My throat feels too tight for words, so I just nod, hoping the look in my eyes is enough to convey how much that means to me.
“Uncle Hunt? That’s something I thought I’d never hear,” Tessa snickers. “Wait, does that mean we get to be aunties? Oh my god. Aunty Tess-Tess.”
“Wow, how much have you had to drink?” Halle asks.
“It’s her first glass,” I say.
“Remi doesn’t have any aunts or uncles. He’s only ever had me. I think he’d love to have some, though,” Sarah says quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
I get the sense she’s been doing it on her own for too long. My heart aches for her. Across the table, Halle and Tessa give me a quick, silent nod, agreeing with the thought running through my head. She doesn’t have to do this alone anymore. We’ll be her family now.
“How old is Remi? What’s his favorite snack? Favorite color?” The words rush out of me.
Sarah blinks at my sudden questions. When she realizes I’m asking because I want to—not because I have to—the guarded lines around her eyes ease, her mouth curving into a wide smile displaying two deep dimples.
“He’s three, loves crackers, and his favorite color is green.” Her whole face lights up when she says it.
“I still can’t believe you’re here and with a three-year-old. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much,” Halle says, her voice laced with guilt.
“You’re telling me. Your boyfriend is Hunter’s best friend?” Sarah smirks at her playfully.
Halle takes a long sip of her wine, her eyes fixed on the swirling red instead of Sarah and the topic of Asher.
Her shoulders dip in a way I recognize. Nine months ago, she would have excused herself, disappeared into the background.
Now, she stays, even with her fingers tapping against her leg.
Asher changed something in her. She sees herself now, believes she belongs at this table, in this town, in this family.
Still, now and then, the anxiety will creep back in.
I catch it in the way her chin dips, how she fidgets with something near—a napkin, her glass, the corner of the table.
I hate that she’s still fighting it, but that’s what makes her the strongest person I know.
“So, who wants to hear what I did this afternoon?” I say, trying to drag the attention away from Halle.
She gives me a grateful smile, and I send one back, hoping it’s enough. “I’m gonna need more wine for this. Maybe a shovel to dig myself a hole to crawl into, too.” I grimace.
“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad,” Tessa says, leaning forward with a smirk.
I ignore her—because yes, it is that bad—and reach for the wine, topping my glass up before taking a sip to settle my nerves.
The warmth spreads through me, slowing my racing thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, I start from the beginning.
I tell them about my awkward run-in with Hunter this morning, the spiral Connor pulled me out of at the bar, and how he stepped in to cover for me when Hunter walked in.
The girls gasp, laugh, and curse Hunter under their breath, and I feel some of the tension sliding off my shoulders with each word.
It feels good. To finally get it all out in the open, to have them validate the way I’ve been feeling all day.
Even Sarah agrees with Halle and Tessa. She’s a girl’s girl.
The support she’s giving me makes me want to do everything in my power to make sure she never feels alone again.
“That’s not all that happened today,” I admit, as I bury my face in my hands.
My cheeks burn with the memory of bumping into Xavier, how he looked me over like I was something worth chasing, how he actually ran after me.
I hop up before the girls drop questions, crossing to the kitchen counter where I discarded the folded paper earlier.
I grab another bottle of wine, the one on the table already finished.
By the time I return to my seat, I’ve cooled my face into something resembling calm, though my heart still beats fast. Setting the wine down, I toss the paper into the center of the table.
“What’s that?” Halle asks.
“That,” I groan, dragging the word out. “Is Xavier’s number.”
“No fucking way!” Tessa squeals.
Sarah snatches the paper, holding it close to inspect the scrawl of his handwriting.
Halle doesn’t even hesitate; she tips the fresh bottle, filling our glasses to the top.
The wine is already humming through my veins, loosening the nerves I’ve been carrying since this morning.
I slink lower into my chair, my legs stretched out.
“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you everything.”
Every ridiculous detail about what happened at the store, I tell them.
“Oh my god.” Tessa sighs.
“Have you messaged him yet?” Sarah asks.
I shake my head. The thought of texting him makes my stomach roll. I can’t tell if it’s the good kind of nerves or the kind that screams Don’t do it.
“What’s stopping you?” Halle asks, picking up a cube of cheese.
“I don’t know. Everything.” I shrug. “I’m a mess right now. Hunter’s back.”
“You know, in a perfect world, my brother would never have left you waiting. He would never have shut you out.” Halle’s voice wavers, just for a second. “I’m so disappointed that he did. I’m mad that you’ve lost your spark that makes you you.”
My chest burns, and I look down because hearing her say I’ve lost my spark hurts.
“I don’t know why he did what he did,” she continues.
“I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt, hold onto hope that he’ll fight for you.
But if you getting back out there—exploring new things, new possibilities, first dates, the bad and the good—helps you move forward, helps you find yourself again… I’ll be here to support you.”
“So will I,” Tess adds firmly. “You’ve been living in this slump for months now. I think it’s time you put yourself first.”
“I agree with the girls,” Sarah says, raising her glass like she’s making a toast. “Don’t let any man hold you back. Life’s too short for that shit.”
“I’ll think about it,” I promise, twisting my glass between my hands. “Today was a lot. I don’t want to make any sudden decisions. If I decide to message Xavier, you’ll all be the first to know.”
“Damn straight we wanna be the first,” Tessa says, pointing at me. “Halle, make sure you add Sarah to our group chat.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her. “Okay, can we move on now? I’m done wasting our energy on boys.” I push back from the table and gather our empty glasses. “Let’s make wine slushies and put on these face masks Tessa brought over.”
The girls all laugh, and just like that, the heaviness in the room instantly lifts.
That’s what I love most about us. We always seem to know when the right time to push is and when it’s not.
So, for the rest of the night, we let go.
We drink, we snack, we put on those ridiculous animal face masks.
Tessa ends up as a lion, and we laugh so hard at her roaring impressions that our stomachs cramp and tears run down our faces.
We sprawl across the cushions on the floor, talking about Halle’s first art classes and the plans for her next one.
We soak up every detail we can about Remi, and we dance our hearts out.
This is everything I needed. My heart feels fuller than it has in months, my cheeks hurt from smiling, and when we settle in to watch a movie, I can’t help but feel like tonight is the start of something new.
By the time the credits roll on the movie, it’s close to midnight.
When I glance around, I find the girls curled up in the nest of pillows, blankets tugged up to their chins, their phones and half-empty wine glasses forgotten as the sound of their soft breathing fills the room.
A small smile tugs at my mouth at the sight, and a wave of exhaustion hits me.
I grab the remote, turning off the TV. The silence that follows is comforting.
I could go to sleep right here, but the last thing I want is for Mom to come home from a long night at work and walk into this mess.
Sighing, I stand, pick up the glasses from the coffee table, and shuffle into the kitchen.
I begin to rinse one, then another, the quiet clink of glass echoing in the still house.
A faint buzz pulls my attention from the sink.
I glance over at the table, frowning, and cross the room to find Halle’s phone lighting up with an incoming video call from Hunter.
For a second, I hesitate, and my pulse stumbles, my chest tightening.
I don’t want to answer. Shit, I really don’t want to.
But then I remember he has Remi, and he could be calling for Sarah.
I don’t want to wake either of them, so with a reluctant swipe, I accept the call.
My breath catches when the call connects, and my eyes meet his. My traitorous and unsteady heart beats faster. His hair is a mess, his jaw shadowed, and even with the tired lines under his eyes, I find myself drinking him in. Like I’ve been starved.
“Madi,” he whispers, his eyes widening at the sight of me.
“Halle’s asleep,” I say quickly, before I can lose my nerve. “Did you want me to wake her?”
“No. No, I—uh…” He stumbles, clearly not expecting me to answer. “I was just calling to check in. Sarah didn’t reply to my last text. I wanted to let Halle know Remi is fast asleep, and if Sarah is out, not to wake her. We’re all good here.”
“Oh.” My voice comes out soft. “That was… thoughtful of you.”
Silence stretches between us. Seconds that feel like whole minutes tick by, no words spoken.
I should hang up. But I can’t make myself look away.
His tired face fills the screen, and something in me aches.
My fingers twitch with the urge to reach out, to trace the shadows under his eyes, to close the distance.
I bite down hard, and I watch his eyes zero in on my lips.
I want to say it—I miss you, I miss us. The words claw at my throat, but the longer I linger on his face, the harder I force them back.
He sees it, though, he always does with me.
The sigh that escapes him carries the same weight I feel.
“I miss you,” he says.
I feel the sincerity deep in my soul, see it in the depths of his eyes.
The words land like a blow. He misses me, like I miss him.
It takes everything in my power not to give in.
Old me would have fallen instantly. But I can’t.
Not now. Not after everything. All I can do is offer him a small shaky smile before my trembling finger moves to the screen, hanging up on him.