Chapter 15 I’ll Make a Deal with You #2
My jaw tightens. I can’t answer, so I hand her the next letter instead.
She gives me a small smile before her focus shifts back to the letter.
I watch her read, and I wait. When a single tear falls down her cheek, my thumb catches it, swiping it away.
My heart hammers in my chest. What if she finishes and realizes this is too much?
She didn’t sign up for my mess. Maybe she’s right, maybe I should give her more space.
To live a life untouched by my chaos. I’m being selfish, needing her to get through these letters when she should be free.
I should be the one carrying the world for her, not the other way around.
“Stop.” Her voice cracks through my spiral, and my eyes snap to hers.
“What?”
“Stop thinking. This isn’t too much for me. You’re not too much. This is what friends are for. We’re there for each other. We help, we lean on each other when things get heavy. Let me be here for you, because I want to be. Asher would do the same. Connor would too.”
“I don’t think Asher and Connor could do the same thing for me as you do,” I tease, trying to lift the heavy mood in the room.
“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” she blurts, swinging her legs off the bed and standing.
I shoot up too, worried she’s going to make a run for it. She doesn’t. Instead, she walks over to the dresser and carefully sets the letters down into two stacks, separating mine from Halle’s.
When she turns back around, I’m already there. My hands snake through her hair as I pull her into me. Her head fits perfectly against my chest, and her scent fills my lungs as I hold her in a hug I’ve been so desperate for all day.
“Thank you,” I manage, my voice cracking. “For being here. For not giving up on me.”
She tilts her head back to look at me, arms wrapping around my waist. “What are friends for?” Her lips twitch, fighting back a smile.
“I’m really starting to hate that word,” I grumble, dropping my arms and stepping back.
“Are you sure you don’t want to open another letter tonight?”
“Yeah,” I say, exhaling slowly. “One’s enough for me in one day. I think I’d rather go make some pancakes for my friend before we head to work.”
Her lips curve, that familiar spark dancing in her eyes. “Can you even make pancakes?”
“Can I make pancakes?” I scoff, hand pressed to my heart in mock offense. “Please. It’s the only thing I can make, thanks to Halle, and a little birdy told me that lemon pancakes are your favorite.”
Her eyes narrow at me, and I send her a wink before turning for the kitchen. I hear her footsteps following behind me, feel her warmth skimming across my back, her citrus scent wrapping around me. The heaviness between us lifts to something lighter.
“Is your little birdy by any chance”—she lifts a hand to her shoulder, measuring the height—“about this tall, has blonde hair to here, kinda looks like me, lives in scrubs, and loves meddling in my life?”
I laugh, loud and carefree for the first time in what feels like forever.
I don’t answer her because we both know she’s right.
And if I admit that her mom is my little birdy, I’d have to tell her that’s where I disappeared to this morning after coffee.
How I left her sitting there so I could go fix her mom’s broken washing machine.
The last thing I want is for her to think I’m doing it to get back in her good books, to score points, to win her over.
That’s not what this is. Claire’s always been there for me, for everyone in this town, and no matter where Madison and I stand, I’ll always show up for her.
It’s just what you do for the people who’ve never stopped showing up for you.
“You’re not denying it.” She hops onto the counter.
“Deny what?” I grab the mixing bowl from the shelf.
“That you were with my mom.”
“I’m not confirming or denying.”
I crack an egg into the bowl, keeping my eyes down.
As I measure out the rest of the ingredients, I can feel her gaze burning into me.
I glance up, a smirk escaping as I hand her the whisk.
We fall into an easy rhythm, mixing, pouring, flipping.
Every move feels natural, like we’ve done this a hundred times before.
But it’s the in-between moments that have me hoping.
The way her shoulder bumps mine when she reaches for the milk.
The soft sound of her laugh when I spill flour across the counter.
The way her eyes quickly dart away when I catch them on me.
How her hair slips loose from the hair tie, framing her face in a way that makes my fingers ache to touch it.
I lean over the counter as she stacks the last pancake on the plate, tucking the fallen strand behind her ear.
Her breath catches, and she smiles at me with the kind of smile that reaches her eyes.
Something’s shifting between us, and I don’t think either of us can pretend not to feel it anymore.
“Yo, are you guys decent?”
Asher’s booming voice carries through the house, and I drop my hand at the same time Madi steps back, eyes flicking to Asher as he strides in.
“What else would we be?” I ask.
“Well, I don’t know.” He smirks, waving a hand between us. “Halle said you guys were here alone, and who knows what one could walk in on.”
“One could also learn how to knock,” I mutter.
“Ah, I’ve never knocked on that obnoxious red door, and I’m not about to start now,” he fires back, as if he’s offended by the idea.
He pulls out a chair at the table and smiles at us.
“So, what brings you here? You know Halle’s not home, right?” I ask, taking my plate and dropping into the chair across from him. I lean over and pull the chair next to me out, motioning for Madi to come sit.
“You know, before Halle got here, I spent most of my time here, too. Can’t a guy just miss his best friend?”
“This is weird,” Madi mumbles around a mouthful of pancake.
“What’s weird?” I ask.
“Him.” She points her fork at Asher. “Not being broody and moody all the time. It’s like getting fucked daily has turned him into this new guy that can crack jokes and wants to be around people all the time. It’s weird.”
The bite of my pancake catches in my throat. I cough hard, hitting my chest as it burns on its way down. “Fuck me,” I rasp between coughs. “Not what I want to hear. Ever.”
Asher shrugs, mouth twitching as he turns to Madi. “Hey, she said it, not me.”
I glare at Madi while her laughter echoes through the room.
“Alright, fine, I was lonely. Halle’s out at dinner, Connor’s with his sister, Jace is still at work, and you two are here, so no chance of me walking in on anyone fucking.”
I groan, dragging a hand down my face. “For the love of God, please no more talk about fucking.”
“Why? Are you jealous?” Asher leans back in his chair with a smug grin.
“Man, you lost your privileges to talk about fucking with me the day you fell in love with my sister. That’s a no-go zone now.”
Asher laughs, tipping his chair back on two legs. “Fair. But speaking of Halle, I wanna run something by you, and preferably without you punching me in the face.”
“Please don’t tell me you want to propose.”
“What. No. I mean, one day, yeah—”
“Oh, thank fuck.”
“Hey, you’d be fucking lucky to have me as your official brother-in-law.” He grins, setting his chair back down.
“Okay, in all seriousness,” he says, his tone shifting to something more serious, “I actually want to ask her to move in with me.”
Madi’s head snaps up, her eyes widening. “Are you serious?” she shrieks. “Asher! Oh my god, yes!”
Her excitement lights up the whole damn room. For a second, it’s all I can focus on. For a second, I imagine what it would be like if she were that excited about moving in with me.
“Are you sure you guys are ready for that?” I ask.
“We haven’t spent a night apart since I got back, man.
We’re constantly bouncing between my place and yours.
And with Sarah and Remi here now,” he shrugs, his eyes cutting to Madison for help, “it just makes sense. Remi can take Halle’s room, and we won’t have to keep living out of bags, going back and forth. ”
“It does make sense.” Madi stands, gathering our empty plates and carrying them to the sink. “Halle deserves something good after everything she’s been through. So do you.”
She’s right. They do.
Still, a selfish part of me wants to tell him to fuck off.
She’s my little sister, and the thought of her moving out permanently—after only just having her back—sits wrong in my chest. I know I can’t make those decisions for Halle.
She’d skin me alive if I tried, and this is Asher.
We’ve been through enough that he knows exactly what’s at stake.
If he ever fucked up again, I’d come for him. No hesitation. No second chances.
“Look, man,” Asher says, his voice firm, “I know this might be a lot to take in, but I can’t see straight without her. Can’t think straight. I’m not asking for permission, I just don’t want to blindside you.”
The words hang in the air between us. When I glance up, Madi’s already watching me. Her eyes are steady, reassuring, and a quiet realization hits me hard. Everything’s changing.
We’re not the same guys we were a year ago. Drunk, reckless, fighting the ghosts of our pasts. We’re both seeking something more. Some kind of peace—slower nights, meaningful connections. Fuck, we’re growing up.
“Alright, “ I say, letting out a breath. “If this is what you think is right, I won’t step in your way.”
“Yeah?” He grins, his leg bouncing under the table.
“Yeah, man. I trust that you’ll do right by her.”
Madi lets out a small squeal, clapping her hands together and bouncing on the spot. “When are you going to ask her? Are you going to do some big grand gesture, or just move her in without asking?”
Asher chuckles, pushing to his feet and running a hand through his curls. “I was thinking of asking her on her birthday when we’re out at Ashfalls, after the arcade.”
“Yes! I love that!” Madison beams, eyes bright. “Can I help plan anything? Wait, can I tell the other girls?”
I can’t help but smile at the excitement practically vibrating off her.
“Whoa, calm down. No and no. I’d like to keep it a secret and not make such a huge thing out of it. She’ll already be overwhelmed with the arcade and us all going out there.”
“Fine, but I want all the juicy details from her afterwards.” She grins at him, crossing her arms.
Asher shakes his head, not even trying to hide the smile slipping free. “I’m outta here. I wanna crash the girls’ dinner before heading to the bar.”
“Can’t help yourself, can you?” I tease.
“Nope,” he says, smirking as he heads for the door.
“Hey, man,” I call after him. “I’m real happy for you guys.”
He smiles before spinning and heading out.
“You okay there?” Madi asks, her tone cautious as she slides back into the chair next to me.
I lean forward, my elbows on the table, hand running through my hair before resting against my forehead. “I won’t lie, part of me is worried, but I don’t think I’ll ever not worry about Halle. Part of me is stoked for them. But there’s also this small part that’s kinda jealous…” I trail off.
Her brows lift slightly. “Jealous?”
“Well, yeah,” I say with a half shrug. “I want that too, you know? A home with someone I’m utterly obsessed with, someone I want to spend every waking second with because it hurts if I don’t.”
Madison’s expression softens, the excitement dimming from her eyes. She reaches over, resting her hand on my arm. “You’ll find that person. She’s out there and waiting for you. One day, you’ll have it all,” she says.
What she doesn’t realize yet is that she is that person. She’s the one I’m waiting on. To give my everything to. So we can have it all. I can feel the pull between us. I just have to be her friend for a little longer.