Chapter 32
Keld
The scene kept replaying itself in slow motion: Grayson, meeting his eyes just as Jiei’s claws ripped through his face. Blood spilling from the wounds. The sharp angles of his mother’s bony frame as he threw her to the ground. Keld hadn’t saved him. He was too late.
“All done.” The forced, bright tone of Grayson’s voice only made Keld’s stomach clench. “Just needed a few stitches.”
Keld took a deep breath and looked up at him. A thick gauze pad was taped to the left side of his face, but it wasn’t big enough to hide the edges of the bruise. Keld lowered his eyes.
“Are you in pain?” he asked quietly.
“Not really. They numbed me up.” Grayson leaned down, trying to force Keld to look at him. “Hey. I’m okay. I’ve had worse.”
Keld gave a jerky nod and got to his feet. “Let me take you home.”
Grayson’s brows pulled together. “Are you staying over?”
“If that’s what you want.” The words were mechanical, spoken without conscious thought.
Grayson trailed behind Keld as he led the way to his car.
The drive home was deafeningly silent. Grayson kept shooting anxious looks at him, but Keld’s mind was a tangle of darkness and rage.
Grayson wasn’t safe with him. He was incapable of defending his Omega, even against his own mother.
Grayson deserved better—deserved an Alpha who could take care of him, whose only family member wasn’t a violent addict.
Keld blinked. When had he pulled into his parking space?
Grayson placed a hesitant hand on his forearm. “Are you okay?”
Keld shook his head. “Don’t ask me that, not when you’re the one who got hurt. Come on. You need to get some sleep.” He climbed out of the car without looking at the Omega.
The Omega hurried after him. “Wait, Keld, seriously, I’m fine.”
Keld glanced back at him. “Okay, you’re fine. I’m glad. But you still need to rest and heal.” He held the building door open and gestured for Grayson to go in. His pale eyes were wide with some emotion Keld couldn’t dissect. Or maybe he refused to.
Keld followed Grayson to his apartment door, eyes snagging on the bandage.
How could he touch Grayson again, knowing the Omega had needed to be sewn back together because of him?
Maybe Grayson would wake up the next morning and realize he didn’t want to see Keld anymore.
The thought sent a thrill of selfish horror through Keld.
“Have you eaten lunch?” Grayson asked. “Because I’m starving.”
“I’ll make us something.” Keld moved to the kitchen on autopilot. He could see Grayson sitting at the island in his periphery, but couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes. The Omega watched him cook in silence, leaving only to change his bloodied shirt.
Grayson’s phone went off, startling them both. He glanced at the number, brows furrowed, and declined it.
“Unknown number,” he muttered.
Keld didn’t answer, sliding a pan-fried tuna steak onto a plate. The silence stretched further as they ate.
“Is it your mom?” Grayson asked.
Keld blinked. “What?”
“You’re obviously upset… Is it because of how you reacted to your mom?”
Keld’s thoughts were a floodplain of pine sap—slow and sticky. “No. I don’t regret how I treated her. She hurt you.”
Grayson tried again. “Why did she do it? I couldn’t understand what she said.”
Keld’s facial fins stiffened and his scales prickled. “She smelled me. On you.”
When Grayson’s expression shifted to bewilderment, Keld forced himself to continue. “She wasn’t sober. She didn’t… approve of our relationship, I guess.”
Grayson scoffed. “Sounds like an understatement. Does she want you to be in a mixed-gender relationship?”
Keld laughed dryly. “No. She doesn’t have the highest opinion of humans. I don’t think she liked knowing I was getting physical with a human.”
“Oh…” Grayson fell quiet.
“Like I said, she wasn’t sober. All the tavra’s messed her up. Well, messed her up more than before.” Keld focused on the flecks in the granite countertop in front of him. He didn’t want to think about the past. “I’m sorry. That I put you in danger, and that I couldn’t get to you in time.”
Grayson shook his head. “I told you, I’m fine. I just needed some food and a nap.”
Keld rose immediately, depositing their empty plates into the sink. “Let’s get you to bed then.”
Grayson slept for hours, curled against Keld’s chest. Keld’s muscles were stiff with tension—he didn’t deserve to feel the soft heat of the Omega’s body pressed to his.
Grayson stirred. “Keld? What time is it?”
“It’s almost six,” he whispered back. “Are you hungry?”
“No,” he mumbled. “Not for food.”
Keld froze at the sensation of Grayson’s lips on his chest. “Grayson, you’re hurt.”
“Not that hurt.” Grayson pushed himself up on his elbow. “You don’t want to?”
I have no right to want to. “I just think you need food and rest right now,” he said. “You stay in bed and I’ll cook something.”
Grayson huddled back into the blankets, disappointment written in every line of his face.
The days blurred. Keld went to work, cooked for Grayson, and slept in the dry, human bed every night.
Grayson’s bids for intimacy grew less frequent with each rejection, until Keld said he needed to spend a night in his pool.
His scales were dehydrated, but mainly, Keld had to escape before his resolve was destroyed.
Physically, he still craved Grayson’s body against his, and his urges only became more powerful as he fought them. Sleeping in a room clouded with sweet, floral pheromones was reaching the level of torture.
That morning, Grayson left for work, his expression dull.
He didn’t talk to Keld much these days, which Keld knew was what he deserved.
In a haze of self-loathing, Keld finished the breakfast dishes and left the apartment.
He took the stairs one floor down and re-entered his own apartment.
The blackout curtains were still drawn, his pool’s plants the only illumination that scattered the darkness.
Keld slid into the water and let himself sink to the bottom.
The kopish swarmed him, eagerly removing flaking and damaged scales from his body.
He tried to focus on the sensation of their little claws, and the press of salt water into his skin.
But try as he might, Grayson clung to the edges of his consciousness, unwilling or unable to let him go.