Chapter 9 #2
Maybe we could take out a second mortgage, but even if we did, we’d never get the money in time to prevent me from spending a considerable amount of time behind bars. There was no way we could pay that amount on our own so I could get out before trial.
Glynn immediately got to his feet. “Your Honor, that amount is exorbitant given that my client has no prior offenses.”
Judge Balfour seemed unconcerned. “That is the amount. It will not be reduced,” was all he said.
As much as I hated it, my father-in-law was my only hope. I despised that, once again, Clifford Herbaugh was the only one who could save me.
The man hated me.
Had always hated me.
Fifty thousand dollars was a lot of money, even for the Herbaughs, but they would put it up.
If only to show the community they were sticking by me. They’d never share their disapproving doubts out loud. I was their daughter’s husband, and they were well-known for putting family first, no matter what.
Because we all knew that if it wasn’t for Lucinda, Cliff would have thrown me to the wolves a long time ago.
And smile as they devoured me whole.
The car ride back to Lucinda’s parents’ house was silent.
I had been disappointed when Bailey left to go back to work. I could have used her as a buffer right about then.
Since leaving court $50,000 lighter, Cliff had been a pot of boiling water ready to bubble over. And there would be no escaping him either. Since my father-in-law had put up the bond, he had insisted that I stay at his house.
“You were released on my reconnaissance. That means my name, my word, is on the line. You’ll stay with Mabel and me until all this concludes one way or another,” my father-in-law insisted with his jaw clenched as we stood in the hallway outside the courtroom after the hearing.
So I wasn’t given a choice. I had given up my passport to the court.
I couldn’t go home. I was stuck. And I doubted the school would let me come back while all this was hanging over my head.
The case hadn’t even gone to trial yet, and it already felt like I had lost everything.
Potentially my job, my home, and I was pretty sure my wife too.
I wasn’t sure if Lucinda and McKenzie would be staying with her parents—though I sincerely hoped so. I couldn’t imagine her leaving me to deal with them alone. But given how angry she must be, I couldn’t rely on her goodwill either.
Back at their house, Cliff pulled the car to a screeching halt and got out without a single word to Lucinda or me. He stomped across the gravel path and went inside the house, slamming the door behind him.
Lucinda and I got out of the car, neither of us saying a thing. I reached for her hand, but she rebuffed me. I trailed slowly after her, feeling like I was heading down the green mile.
I was eager to see McKenzie, but Lucinda told me that Mabel had taken her to the park. I had no doubt she had done it to keep me away from my daughter, but for once I didn’t mind. As desperate as I was to see my little girl, I knew it was important that Lucinda and I talk alone.
The entryway of Lucinda’s childhood home was gloomy.
The dark wood paneling and deep green carpet had always given off an ominous air, but now it felt fitting given my mood.
Lucinda started up the stairs and I followed her, my head hung low.
It had been years since I had followed Lucinda up these stairs.
Back then we had been young and in love, but now we were older and barely tolerating each other.
Part of me longed for the connection we used to have. It made my life so much easier when I knew she had my back no matter what. But as we entered her childhood bedroom, I knew those days were long behind us.
She closed the door with a decisive click.
When Lucinda turned to look at me, her face was flushed with pure, unadulterated rage.
A look I hadn’t seen since the night Jenn died.
I braced myself against her wrath. I felt my own indignant fury arch up to meet hers. This wasn’t all my fault, goddamn it. Maybe my loving wife should look at herself once in a while. After all, I wouldn’t have messed up so badly if she hadn’t given me a reason to.
“Do you have any idea how humiliating that was for me?” Her voice was like fire, her words incinerating me.
“Even from beyond the grave, she is still between us.” Her voice hitched, and I watched her take a deep breath to get herself under control.
“Glynn just shared your affair with everyone in that courtroom. With the whole town. ”
“Lucinda—”
“I’m not finished!” I sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for her to tire herself out and leave.
“My dad is furious. He wants to leave you to deal with this on your own. Marty has come forward, and we both know he has information that can send you up the river. You need to be realistic. This looks very, very bad for you because you were messy.” She spoke matter-of-factly.
The anger that was there before was completely gone now.
“Everything is pointing at you, and it will take more than a good defense to turn it around.”
My face tightened with frustration but I kept quiet, knowing anything I said would be like throwing a match on gasoline.
“What would you do if I didn’t keep convincing my family to save you?” Her tone was harsh and even. She looked exhausted, but I knew that had never stopped her before. “When you speak to Glynn tomorrow, the best thing to do is stick to the story. We’ll just have to see if it’s enough.”
“Lucinda, maybe it’s time we talk about what really happened that night and what we did—”
“There is no we,” she snarled. “There is only you and your mess.” She poked her finger at me and I fantasized about grabbing it and snapping it right off.
“Lucinda—” Her name tasted like poison in my mouth.
“Do you still love her?” Her lips twisted as if she was in pain.
“Say her name, Lucinda.” I didn’t give her time to brace herself. “Her name is Jenn.” The impact was instantaneous. It was the one weapon in my arsenal that always hit its mark and one I would only employ when absolutely necessary.
Lucinda looked away from me, and my momentary victory fell flat. “She made you an idiot back then, and she’s making an idiot of you now.” She didn’t sound angry anymore—just disappointed. “My family will not keep suffering for the choices you made. I will not keep suffering because of you.”
I both loved and loathed Lucinda.
She was a mother, a wife, and the villain in my long, complicated story.
She had given me everything, while simultaneously taking everything away. We were each other’s worst enemy.
Her hair fell wildly around her face, revealing more about her state of mind than anything else. She was usually impeccably put together. “She’s in the past. We’ve moved beyond what happened—”
“Have we?” I sneered. “Because from where I’m standing, it doesn’t look like either of us have moved beyond anything.
Certainly not from Jenn.” I said her name again to create ultimate carnage.
Lucinda and I had always existed in this precarious place between her will and mine—with me usually coming out the loser.
Things had been different with Jenn, which is what had made her so special.
Lucinda knew that Jenn offered me something she never could.
Control.
Neither of us said anything for the length of time it took for us both to get ourselves together.
Finally, she smoothed back her hair. “I’m going to the park to meet up with Mom and Kenz.
Get your shit together, Rhett. I’m tired of being this family’s backbone.
” She hit me right where it hurt. In my figurative manhood.
I thought about grabbing her and shaking her. Maybe I would squeeze her arms hard enough to bruise. I imagined all the ways I could make her sorry for saying such awful things to me.
But the dark thoughts stayed tucked away inside.
Lucinda turned and left the room, slamming the door so hard that a photo fell from the wall and smashed on the floor. I flinched as I stared at the glinting pieces on the ground. It was a photo of Lucinda and me in high school.
Before Jenn.
Before Marty.
Before the biggest mistake of my life.
July 12—Fifteen Years Ago
“Here, buddy.” Marty passed me the joint. I reached over to take it, swerving slightly into oncoming traffic.
“Shit.” I overcorrected to get back in my lane. Marty cackled in delight as my tires caught the gravel on the verge and spun slightly, fishtailing dangerously. With shaking hands I took a small drag and handed it back to Marty.
“Calm down, Rhett. You’ll get us both killed.” Marty pulled on the joint and rolled down the window to blow out a thick plume of smoke. He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. “What’s got you all messed up this evening? Woman trouble?”
I laughed. “That’s an understatement, man.”
“That lady of yours seems like a lot of work. I told you how to handle her.” He made a crude gesture.
“Bitches like that only ever respond to a strong hand, know what I mean?” He toked on the joint as he braced his feet on the dashboard.
I wanted to tell Marty to move his muddy boots, but I knew he wouldn’t listen anyway.
He did what he wanted, when he wanted. Which was one of the things I respected about him.
“That’s not the one I’m talking about,” I muttered. The horrific fight Lucy and I had tonight wasn’t what was pressing on my mind. She wasn’t the woman I was consumed by.
Marty nodded knowingly. “I heard you were playin’ around behind the back of that fine piece of ass. You’ve got balls, my friend. Big fuckin’ balls.” However, he spoke as if he wasn’t giving me a compliment. In fact he looked kind of pissed off.
“Yeah, I guess so.” I shrugged, glancing at him nervously. Why did I want Marty’s regard so badly? I wanted him to think of me as his equal. Like I was as much a man as he was.
Marty bared his teeth in a feral grin that put me on edge. “I want to hear all about this new piece. How’d you even meet her? What the hell you thinkin’ screwing around with some girl while your nuts are in some other lady’s purse?”
My mood darkened even more. “Yeah, well she’s avoiding me now anyway.”
Marty laughed but it sounded brittle. “You fuckin’ kiddin’ me? What the hell is wrong with you, man? You keep fucking it all up. It’s like you can’t help but be a little bitch.”
I felt myself freeze at his ridicule that lately held a note of something more cruel. “I’m not fucking anything up!”
“From where I’m sitting, all I see is a guy tryin’ to mess around with two chick and yet here you are, a sad sack whining about your problems like a little fucking bitch.
” He flung the words at me like knives. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes, bad blood stewing between us.
But then he pointed to the convenience store in front of us.
“Pull over here. I want to get some brews.”
I did as I was told. I waited in the car as he went inside.
The argument with Lucy had been bad. We both said things we’d never be able to take back. But I had made my choice. I knew Lucy would never forgive me. Not that it really mattered. Lucy’s opinion about my life was no longer an issue.
I deserved to be happy. It was time for me to put myself first.
Lucy’s feelings didn’t really enter into any of it.
Marty came back a few minutes later and climbed into the backseat this time, spreading out his legs, lounging with his twelve pack like I was his chauffeur.
Then we were on the road again, heading out of town—toward Jagged Point.
Marty opened a can and handed one to me.
The last thing I needed was a DUI, but I took it and drank deeply, wanting to drown my sorrows.
Everything had gone to shit, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it.
“I told Lucy I don’t want to get married. I’m thinking of leaving town,” I said suddenly. God, Lucy would hate me even more if she knew I’d told him that. She loathed Marty for some reason. The intensity of her hatred grew the closer he and I got.
Marty let out a low whistle. “You’re a braver man than me. That Lucy, she’s a wildcard. Who knows what she’s gonna do now. I’ve seen murder in that woman’s eyes, and it’s scary as shit.” Marty didn’t sound scared. That anger I had seen earlier flared back to life.
“Lucy wouldn’t hurt me—”
“I’m not talkin’ about you, man. I’m thinkin’ of Jenn,” Marty interjected with venom.
I glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “I don’t think I ever told you her name.”
Marty took a long drink of beer, his face hard. “Whose name?”
“Jenn Moore.”
What was he hiding from me?
“Do you know her or something?” I asked.
“Moore, huh? Interesting.” He appeared thoughtful, and I noted that he didn’t answer my question. My head was muddled, and I didn’t want to spend time wondering about Marty’s change of mood, or his secrets.
“Lucy wouldn’t hurt Jenn,” I repeated, needing reassurance.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. A woman scorned and all that.
I told you to lock her down while you could.
Now, I don’t think you could even if you tried,” Marty retorted nastily.
“And what about Jenn? You’re puttin’ her in the damn lion’s den.
What sort of man sets his woman up like that?
” He spat onto the floor of my car. “You’re fuckin’ weak. ”
I was stung by his derision.
I didn’t have time to answer because that’s when I saw her. I turned the steering wheel sharply and stopped alongside her.
She was walking, her head down, sweat dripping from her forehead, her book bag heavy on her shoulders.
I beeped my horn and she looked up. Everything inside me went perfectly still.
I could tell she was leaving.
An ugly fury unfurled inside me.
She was leaving town.
Leaving me!
I couldn’t let that happen.
I wouldn’t.
I rolled down the window.
“Hey, need a ride?”