Chapter 17 #3
I wasn’t sure exactly how I expected tonight to go, but it wasn’t like this.
I had wanted one night for myself before I officially ended things with Lucy.
Before I changed the course of my life forever.
Jenn and I having sex had solidified the decision that had been lingering in the back of my mind for weeks.
I had been on the fence, and now I was ready to jump over it.
I looked between the two women, wanting to drag Jenn away and protect her from Lucy’s wrath. Yet I didn’t say anything, almost as if I had become paralyzed by my own stupidity. It was too late to do anything, anyway. We were facing down the barrel of Lucy’s gun, and I had given her the ammunition.
“Hi, Jenn. Nice to meet you. I’m Lucy.” She paused for only a moment before blowing my whole world apart. “Rhett’s fiancée.”
Jenn looked like she had been slapped. She turned to me for confirmation or denial, her eyes widening with horror when all I could do was stare at her.
“Rhett?”
“I can explain,” I started to say, but then stopped. What could I say to make this right? Why should I have to say anything in the first place?
This was my life. My choice.
In spite of the situation, I felt the flickers of irritated anger come to life.
I was sick of my decisions being dictated by other people.
But I could see the cogs turning as Jenn began to unravel my lies.
“I’m sure Rhett has told you all about our wedding next month,” Lucy continued, but I barely heard her. I was focused entirely on the girl I loved, who looked like she was about to break down.
“Your wedding?” I heard Jenn whisper.
I vaguely felt Lucy loop her arm with mine. My skin instinctively rejected her touch. She was still speaking, but I wasn’t listening.
Jenn had gone pale. I wanted to hold her and promise that she was the one for me. That Lucy didn’t matter.
Yet, I didn’t.
Why couldn’t I be a man when it counted?
I finally looked at the woman I was supposed to marry. “Um, Lucy, I think we should talk—”
“Yes, I agree, we have so much to talk about, Rhett,” she seethed through a painful smile. I knew she was trying to save face in front of everyone.
Jenn was no longer looking at me. She was staring at the bonfire, her eyes wide, her lips trembling.
I tried to see what—or who—she was staring at, but the light from the fire made it hard to see anyone clearly. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Then she let out a sob as if her whole world were ending and turned and ran toward the trees.
“Bye, then!” Lucy called out hatefully.
I glared at her, the woman I was supposed to love, and snatched my arm out of her grip.
“Jenn!” I bellowed, not caring who heard me or what they were saying. I only had one thought on my mind—get to Jenn.
I took off after her, my rising hysteria threatening to drown me. I didn’t even know where I was going, only that I had to find her.
“Jenn, please talk to me!” I called out into the darkness. When she didn’t answer me, I stopped, pulled out my phone, and began calling her over and over again.
But no matter how many times I called, she didn’t answer.
“Jenn, answer me!” Worry was slowly turning to anger.
I understood she was upset, but I loved her. I had given up everything for her—didn’t that count for anything?
“Fuck!” I shouted, trying Jenn’s phone again. When she still didn’t answer, I curled my hand into a fist and lashed out at the trunk of the nearest tree. I stopped myself from hitting it full force but I still left behind a bloody smear.
Why wasn’t she answering?
She said she loved me, but maybe she was like every other woman in my life, only out for herself.
Emotions warred against each other inside me. Fear, sadness, guilt.
And anger. So much anger.
For everyone, including Jenn.
Jenn, who was ignoring me. Who had left me all alone to deal with everything. She had run off at the slightest hint of trouble.
Deep down, I knew I wasn’t being fair. I had lied to both Jenn and Lucy, and now it was biting me in the ass. But, at that moment, none of it mattered. Because I was all alone, deserted by the woman I had set fire to my life for.
“Jenn, get back here now.” I heard the threat in my tone, and I knew she would too. She had to talk to me at some point—it’s not like she could run from me forever.
I kept calling and texting her. On some level, I knew I was acting insane. But I didn’t care. I just needed her to talk to me so we could figure this out, together.
“Jenn, answer your fucking phone!” I yelled to her voicemail.
“Jenn, where are you? You need to listen to me.”
“Goddamn it, don’t fucking ignore me.”
Each message became angrier and more desperate than the last. I was heartsick and worried, but I was filled with so much fury I could barely see straight. I had hinged my future on Jenn, and she was not going to blow up our plans because of a stupid misunderstanding.
Around midnight, I drove to the Millwood Guesthouse and banged on the front door until Ms. Stanley came out onto the porch, looking troubled.
“Why are you making all that ruckus at this time of night?” She peered at me closely. “Have you been drinking, young man?”
“Where’s Jenn? The girl who’s staying here? I need to speak to her, now,” I insisted. I attempted to get inside, but the door was locked.
Ms. Stanley left the screen door closed, creating a barrier between us. “You need to go home and leave that poor girl alone.”
I slammed my hand on the doorjamb, making the wood rattle. “Tell her Rhett’s here. She’ll talk to me,” I panted, my breath coming in shallow gasps.
“You’re in no position to talk to anyone in your state—”
“Jenn!” I screamed. “Get out here and talk to me, goddammit!”
Ms. Stanley held her robe closed at her neck, her eyes wide with fear. “You need to leave, or I’m calling the police.”
That gave me pause. The last thing I wanted was for the cops to show up, particularly after what I had done to Cliff Herbaugh’s daughter that evening. “Fine,” I grumbled, backing down the stairs, staring up at the darkened windows.
Ms. Stanley watched me until I was on the sidewalk and then closed the door. I stayed for a long time just waiting, hoping Jenn would see me. I kept calling and texting her.
She never answered.
Finally, as the sun began to make its way upward in the sky, I headed home, knowing one thing was for certain: I would make her listen to me, even if she didn’t want to.
I had detonated my life to be with her, and I’d be damned if I’d let it all be for nothing.