Thirty
It was two in the afternoon when Rowena pulled into Silvano’s patisserie the next day.
She hadn’t planned on stopping because she’s assumed it would be closed, like almost everything else in Acacia Junction on the first of January, but the doors had been wide open as usual and Rowena had taken it as a good sign.
She’d left Sydney a bit before six am and only taken two brief pit stops along the way. She was, consequently, exceptionally tired, but rallied the second she saw Silvano behind the counter.
‘Ro?’
He broke into a broad grin as she entered the shop and, for the first time since the balcony last night, she relaxed. She’d been trepidatious about the town’s reaction to her being back after skipping out on them, but Silvano, at least, greeted her with open arms.
Literally.
Coming from behind the counter, he embraced her. He’d lost thirty kilos since that fateful day out on the highway into town, but his hugs were still as big as his personality.
It was hard to believe six months ago she hadn’t known this man at all, and yet here they were—inextricably bound.
‘Are you back for good?’ he asked as he released her, searching her gaze.
Rowena saw reproach in his eyes for the first time and her cheeks burned. She deserved to be called out on running away with Reggie not long in the ground, even if it had seemed the most logical thing to do at the time.
‘Yes.’
There’d been a lot of time to think last night and today as the kilometres had flicked by. She’d decided that even if Lachlan rejected her because of her freak-out over his declaration of love, she was moving to Acacia Junction anyway.
She’d loved working at the hospital, and it would be a lot easier to co-parent when he was only fifteen minutes away.
‘Good.’ He nodded then moved back behind the counter. ‘Now to feed you. What takes your fancy?’
‘Cannoli, of course.’
‘Excellent choice,’ Silvano said as he grabbed the tongs. ‘Two for you, one for the baby?’
Rowena laughed. ‘One for me. One for the baby,’ she conceded, which earned an ear-splitting grin. ‘And one for Lachlan.’
‘Ah. Yes.’ His nod of approval meant the world.
*
Rowena’s heart swelled as the homestead came into view twenty minutes later. It had done the same as she’d driven into Acacia Junction, but not like this.
Like a visceral tug and a soothing balm all at once.
A veritable tsunami of emotions swamped her chest. She’d missed it. This place that she’d lived for such a short period of time but that somehow felt like home. This place that Lachlan called home.
That their daughter would call home.
And then there was the profound heartache at knowing there was no Reggie to greet her with a cup of tea and a biscuit fresh from the oven. This house had felt like a home because Reggie had filled it up with her enormous spirit and generosity and given it life.
With a heavy heart, Rowena pulled up, parking under the tree next to Lachlan’s ute. Red and Blue, who’d been lying at the front door under the empty hat rack, barked a couple of times before trotting to greet her, tails wagging.
Rowena crouched to give them some love, lifting her face away to avoid two slobbery tongues. She stood again after a minute and headed to the homestead, the dogs at her heels.
Remembering the first time she’d stepped into the kitchen, Rowena opened the unlocked door and looked around.
The table was covered in a seersucker cloth, the plain brown teapot sitting in the middle covered in its knitted cosy.
The two ultrasound images of the baby were still affixed to the fridge door.
Nothing seemed changed and yet it felt so empty.
‘Lachlan?’ she called.
A quick scout around told her neither he nor Albert were in the house, which wasn’t surprising. Life on the land didn’t stop because the rest of the country had a day off. She stepped out the back door, glancing at the bunkhouse and the yards beyond. ‘Lachlan?’ she called again.
Still no answer.
Red whined and she glanced down to find him looking at her like he knew exactly where Lachlan was situated.
‘Where is he, boy?’
The dog didn’t need any more encouragement, taking off at a trot across the yard.
Rowena, feeling a little like she’d landed in an episode of Lassie, followed.
As they passed the bunkhouse and the yards, she wished she was wearing sturdier footwear than her ballet flats, but boots didn’t exactly go with her strappy sun dress.
When Red continued in the direction of the shearing shed, Rowena knew where he was taking her, and they arrived at the glade of gums soon after.
Through the trunks she could see Lachlan standing in the middle of the cemetery, his blond head bowed.
He was alone, so Albert must be elsewhere attending to other things.
Stopping, she crouched beside Red, scratching behind his ear as she whispered, ‘It’s okay, boy, go home now. I’ve got this.’
At least she hoped so.
The dog gave a quiet whine, panting a little before turning around and heading back to the house. Rowena stood, taking a moment to centre herself, to go over what she was going to say, before she started towards him again.
He must have been really lost in thought because Lachlan didn’t hear her approach until she was about a metre away from the gate. Half turning, his eyes widened as they landed on her, and Rowena’s breath caught and held in her throat.
God … it hit her anew and with startling precision. She loved this man.
‘Rowena?’
A muscle worked in his jaw, and the incredulous tremor in his voice almost undid her. ‘Hey,’ she murmured, smiling at him tentatively as she reached the open gate.
Her gaze dropped to where Reggie had been laid to rest. The soil no longer looked newly turned but a fresh bunch of flowers lay across the grave that wasn’t yet properly marked. Lifting her gaze, she met his as she walked into the yard, drawing level.
His blue eyes shone with unshed tears and her heart ached for him, a torrent of emotion clogging her chest as her eyes stung and her nostrils tingled from a backlog of tears. She yearned to pull him close. But she didn’t know what was acceptable given the way they’d parted.
‘I’m so sorry, Lachlan,’ she said, her breath catching. She’d left and she’d hurt him. Sure, she’d panicked, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t screwed up. And she needed to say so. She needed to own it and try to put it right. ‘I’m so sorry for walking away like I did. I was such an idiot.’
Every muscle in her body tensed as she waited for him to respond. Thankfully, he didn’t make her wait, snatching her up in his arms with startling efficiency.
‘You’re here now,’ he said, his voice muffled in her hair. ‘And I’m so glad to see you.’
He held her tight as silent tears coursed down Rowena’s cheeks. She’d forgotten how good it felt, enclosed in the solid cage of his arms, and she held on for dear life.
‘I love you,’ she whispered when she was finally able to speak, her eyes squeezed shut.
She hadn’t planned on just saying it. There was going to be a preamble, words she’d practised—but, in the end, they were the only three words that mattered. There’d be plenty of time for elaboration.
Hopefully.
‘I love you,’ she repeated, her eyes open this time, the flowering gum overhead a starburst of colour.
‘I know,’ he replied, his answer gruff.
She laughed, making a terrible wet kind of snorty noise through her tears. She eased out of his embrace. ‘You do?’
‘Well …’ He smiled down at her. ‘I hoped.’
Rowena grinned, the pain in her heart carried away on the breeze as he looked at her with all the love in his body shining from his eyes.
‘It was the Ferris wheel,’ she said, pinpointing the moment she’d fallen for him, as he had done for her.
‘The near kiss?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘How you bribed that kid to stop the gondola at the top so we had the best view of the fireworks. That was old-school romantic.’
He pulled her in, whispered, ‘I promise I’ll always bribe the Ferris wheel kid for you,’ before kissing her for long drugging moments that set her pulse racing.
It probably would have gone on for much longer had the baby not kicked. Given how closely they were smooshed, Rowena wasn’t the only one who felt the swift, sharp jab.
Lachlan pulled away abruptly, startled for a moment, before his gaze dropped to her belly. ‘Wow.’ He took in her growing girth with wonder. ‘You’re really showing now.’
Rowena nodded. ‘Twenty-eight weeks.’
‘Can I …’ Lachlan hesitated, raising his hand a little.
‘Of course.’ She grabbed his hand and smoothed it over her very definite bump.
Now she was no longer being squashed against her father’s big frame, their daughter went quiet again. Not that it stopped either of them standing there waiting for another jab.
‘I’m going to quit my job and move to Acacia Junction,’ Rowena said as they gave up on feeling anything else, their fingers intertwining as they faced each other.
‘No.’ It was practically a growl. ‘To Blairgowrie.’ His voice brooked no argument, not that he was going to get one.
‘If you’ll have me.’
He didn’t bother with an answer. He just said, ‘When?’
‘I might have to give some notice at work and I gotta pack up my apartment and put it on the market.’
‘I’ll help. It’ll be faster.’
Rowena smiled. ‘It’s not that big.’
‘Even better.’
‘I want to work, part-time, at the hospital. After the baby’s born. When she’s a bit older.’
‘Of course.’
His quick acceptance eased her mind. A part of her had wondered, as she was driving, if he’d want her to commit all her energies to the farm.
As if sensing her concerns, his arms tightened around her.
‘I don’t expect you to be a Reggie. I love you,’ he said, his eyes burning fiercely into hers.
‘And I want you to be happy out here and not be career disadvantaged, especially not when there’s a hospital right down the road.
I don’t expect you to join the CWA or learn how to ride a horse or step into Reggie’s show cook shoes.
I just want you and me and our daughter living on Blairgowrie together, and we’ll figure out the rest as we go along. ’
Rowena nodded, her lungs suddenly feeling too big for her chest. ‘I like the sound of that.’
‘Me too.’ He dropped a kiss on her mouth and her lungs got a little bigger. ‘Are you sure you can live out here without the trappings of the city?’
Rowena slipped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes so they were eye to eye. ‘I love it out here,’ she assured. ‘Acacia Junction. Blairgowrie. And I only want to be wherever you are.’
‘Good answer,’ he said with a smile.
She returned his smile. ‘I’ve got an even better one,’ she murmured, urging him down for a kiss that wasn’t entirely appropriate for a graveyard.
He groaned against her mouth. ‘You’re right, that’s much better.’ Pulling away, he tugged on her hand. ‘Let’s go back to the house.’
‘No.’ She shook her head and held her ground. ‘Let’s go home.’
‘Hell yes.’ He grinned so big it filled Rowena’s heart to bursting. ‘I like the sound of that.’
He tugged again and she let herself be tugged this time and they walked hand in hand back to the homestead and into a future of pet lambs and bagpipe lessons and orange bears called Colin.
And tiny baby daughters.