Chapter 54
Ashley
my soul prostrated at the sight,
I swore I would abide.
Kaed isn’t in the sparring ring. Not that I was planning to go, of course.
I just wanted to walk past him, let him see I wasn’t going to go to training this morning after what happened yesterday.
Let him know that I’m not thinking about him.
At all. But he isn’t there. I stroll past the ring once, then twice, pausing only to lace my already laced boot or glance up at the seas.
After thirty minutes, I give up, planting my hands on my hips with an irritated huff.
Where the hell is he? Volker filter out towards the mess hall.
Maybe he’s already inside? No. If anything, he’d be somewhere brooding, probably sharpening weapons unnecessarily or punishing some poor trainee.
Or maybe he went to see Nyk? After all, if something is wrong with him, he’d go to his best friend before anyone else.
“Have you seen Captain Kaed?”
The jail guard salutes. “Not today, Your Highness.”
Frustration twists low in my stomach until a thought snaps into place.
The bond. I wonder if it could find him for me.
I close my eyes and breathe in slowly, letting myself feel instead of think.
After a beat, something stirs in my chest, a faint tingling that spreads outward, then suddenly surges upward.
It’s sharp, bright. There. A pull anchors itself between my ribs and tugs; it feels exactly like last night.
So that was the bond. Had I been drawn to him without even realising it?
Maybe we’re not allowed to argue. When I open my eyes, tiny white sparks flitter in the air above my head, forming a thin, wavering trail.
Something like a path. I lift my hand and swish my fingers through them, they fizz against my skin like static.
I follow the lights. Past the jail. Past the armoury.
Through the side gates until the orderly grates beneath my feet give way to uneven ground, the path growing rougher, pulling me toward the edge of the land.
The sparks burn brighter as the heat thickens in the air, the lava ocean coming into view.
They stop just behind Kaed, where he’s perched on a boulder.
Shoulders slumped and his wings no more than little black wisps.
Puffs of solid, inky smoke curl from his fingertips like small pebbles, he shoots them toward the Seas Above, sending another one to collide with it and burst into ash.
I had been so determined to find him, but now that I have, I don’t know what to say.
“I’m only here because of the bond.” I plant my hands on my hips. Silence. “What’s wrong with you?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he flicks his wrist and another spiral of smoke solidifies, racing toward the Seas. I march over and block his view. His eyes lift to mine briefly and what I see there knocks the breath from my lungs. Emptiness. A sadness so deep it’s swallowed him whole.
“I never thought I’d have to revisit that time in my life,” he murmurs.
“Your affair, you mean?”
“Yes, Ashley.” He sighs. “My affair.” He runs a hand over his freshly cut hair, then scratches his neck. “Magenta made advances for years. I never entertained them.” Without thinking, I clamber onto the boulder beside him.
“One night, Lili and I took a day off. We went to a tavern and drank too much. She slipped something into my drink and left me there. All I remember is Magenta catching me stumbling down an alleyway. She pushed me against a wall and kissed me.” His voice lacks something, its usual power.
“The next morning, I woke up next to her at an inn. I don’t remember how I got there. ”
“Oh, Kaed. That’s not your fault.” My heart sinks.
“No, it wasn’t,” he admits. “But every time after that, that was my choice. She said if I didn’t comply, she would tell King Herod.”
I shake my head, sliding my hand into his and locking our fingers together. “She forced you.”
“No. Not after the first time. It may sound like it, but I made a choice. There’s always a choice. I chose to preserve myself and not take Herod’s wrath.”
I force the lump down my throat. “And Lili?”
“Magenta had threatened her too. Lili made her choice, same as I made mine.”
“How do you still work together?”
He chuckles. “When you live for hundreds of years, it can become easier to forgive, for some anyway. She’s also a damn good soldier and magic wielder. She was cornered, like me. And she has paid for her choices. The brand on her throat marks her as ‘the deceitful one.’ It came from Vale.”
As much as I hate what Lili did, it doesn’t seem fair for someone to be branded for eternity for one bad choice made under duress. I’d be branded all over if that was the law. “I’m sorry, Kaed, for what happened to you. And for assuming the worst before asking.”
He brushes it off. “Don’t be.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of him, and we both watch the fish dancing across the morning sky.
“I need to talk to your brother this morning. Would you like to accompany me? I can see you two have been getting on as of late. As much as anyone can get on with Aiden anyway.”