Chapter 69
Ashley
so here we stand, and make our vow,
and seal it with a kiss.
We pack quietly. Even Aiden helps in the end.
I use the term help loosely. He put two wine bottles in his bag.
Still, it took almost a week of gentle bullying from Eira and relentless reassurance from us all before he agreed.
The plan we put together feels solid enough to hold, at least for now.
We will just have to be flexible. I kept thinking about how Vale, Theron and the other rebels in the palace managed to resist the King’s mind magic for so long, and after Summer and Mari searched Vale’s old residences in Ashen, they found traces of an elixir hidden away.
It’s meant to ward your mind. They taught us how to make it, where to find the ingredients, and now we carry fresh vials tucked safely into our packs.
I’ve learned more about myself in these months than in all the years before them.
I know now that I am stubborn, difficult, and defiant, and that those things are not flaws, so long as they’re directed towards something worth fighting for.
I have to play my part in this broken, beautiful group.
Kaed, Eira, Aiden, Cook. Because they are still finding their way back to themselves.
I am too, but it’s nothing I haven’t done before.
I’m going back to save Nyk. I’m going to help Aiden to be a person instead of a weapon. And I’m going to stop the King.
Somewhere in the library, I made a discovery I haven’t shared with anyone.
Something that scared me, but more than anything, it pissed me the fuck off.
After, I met secretly with Hunah and Xalan and we decided the only way forward is to pretend.
I asked Eira to remake the same jewellery we had stripped off, identical in every way, except untainted.
Aiden refused at first, shaking, terrified of ever wearing that crown again and it took hours of holding his hands, some glasses of wine, and a promise we wouldn’t let him be controlled, before he finally agreed.
He worries me the most. He’s so lost I’m scared the King will see through him in seconds.
We have a year of lies ahead of us. A year of smiling and bowing and surviving.
And we must keep Nyk alive. By any means necessary.
Kaed and I already sent a Pyreling to his brothers and set the first threads of our rescue in motion.
That was an experience. Snappy little shits.
I’ve even begun to accept that Theron may still have a part to play, that we need him alive too. Though I haven’t told Kaed that yet.
And all that leads me to today. Standing in the room of Feye’s First Breath, surrounded by blue stone and gorgeous magic.
It feels wrong to stand here, preparing for something beautiful while Nyk waits for execution under the same skies, counting his days.
And I don’t know how to hold both of those things at once.
Being this and that at the same time. Happy and terrified.
Chosen and guilty. Maybe I never will. But maybe you don’t have to resolve a feeling to keep moving.
You just carry it with you and go anyway.
Hunah and Xalan whisper blessings while Cook and Eira practically vibrate with excitement.
Aiden has been watching these ceremonies since he was a child and now, he has the authority to make this one real.
Kaed and I face each other in the centre of the chamber, hearts loud in our ears, ready to ignite the bond on my side at last. And not as prisoners or pawns.
We refuse to ever be that again. We are two people choosing each other and our future in full knowledge of the war waiting outside these walls.
As two people who now know who and what they serve.
We have decided, together, to fight for freedom, for truth.
Hunah places a smooth crystal into Aiden’s palm and he clears his throat before reciting the first blessing.
“Actually… I have something to use instead.” Kaed interrupts.
He reaches into his pocket. I gasp. A small, charcoal lump.
I know that stone. That’s the stone from the first home I knew.
The one I threw at him the day he dragged me from the beach.
The day everything began. A whirl of emotions crashes through me so fast I almost lose my balance.
He kept it. All this time. That rock once reminded me of my dad, my mum, of everything I’ve lost and every way I didn’t fit.
Of sand in my shoes and uncontrollable anger in my chest. But now it means something else.
Revolt. Acceptance. The moment I started taking control of my life instead of letting it sweep me under the damn tide.
Aiden takes the charcoal and resumes the blessing between yawns and swigs from his bottle as I search Kaed’s face, trying to untangle what I feel.
I don’t know if I love him. Not in the way songs and poems talk about.
It’s so much more. I’m drawn to him in a way I can’t explain and I can’t imagine my life without him in it.
Is that how love feels? I wouldn’t know.
What I do know is that he sees me. The loud, messy, defiant Ashley.
He works with me, balances me, catches me when I spiral.
I stare into his bright, hazel eyes and the crinkles at their corners.
His easy, dimpled smile and sharp canines.
The ferocious markings that cut across his face like war paint and his hair a little grown out.
He’s wearing a ruffled black shirt, a fitted waistcoat, and black trousers tucked into boots.
Thick tattoos burst out from under his neckline.
He smells like smoke and something sweet.
Like home. I’m dressed in black silk, thin straps resting on my shoulders, the neckline dipping low and my hair pulled up.
And as Aiden’s voice echoes through the room, I realise that this is my choice.
Fate be damned, I’m choosing this for myself.
The charcoal stone passes from hand to hand, carrying whispers and magic, until it finally returns to Aiden.
He cups it carefully, closes his eyes and speaks the final slurred blessing.
The stone flares. Light explodes outward in every colour at once, every sound, every feeling, joy and fear and hope and grief colliding inside my chest. We are unmade and rebuilt in the same heartbeat.
But now I’ve been built into him. And him into me.
“You can kiss. Again. I guess.” I don’t even wait for Aiden to finish the sentence.
My hands are already in Kaed’s shirt as my lips crash into his.
Impossibly right, fitting around mine like they were always meant to.
My heart thunders wildly, tangled with his and beneath it all rises a fierce and unmistakable feeling.
An overwhelming urge to protect him, his mind, his heart.
To guard this promise, this male, and this fragile future with everything I am.
When we finally pull apart, the room erupts.
Cheers, laughter, tears, hands clapping, voices lifting toward the ceiling like a Creed answered at last. Cheering for us.
Cheering for hope. What we represent. Our choice.
Our mission. The fact that we are still standing.
Still fighting. Still believing this world can be better, despite what faces us.
As we walk towards the open doors, Cook wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, pretending he isn’t crying, while Eira slips her arm through his, steering him out.
And Aiden follows behind. Bare feet on the blue stone, hugging a wine bottle.
I look back at the room. The first place I’ve ever stood and felt like I was supposed to be there.
I close my fingers around Kaed’s, lean into him and whisper, “Now let’s burn some shit down, pretty boy. ”