Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
SCARLETT
Six Months Ago
After that first night when I snuck off to meet Gabriel on the beach, we met again two more times, at a luxury boutique hotel in town, The Clarinet.
The last time was two days ago, and when we were together, Judy called him to ask where he was.
It was around eight, and he froze when his phone lit up, her name flashing across the screen like an accusation.
For a second, he just stared at it, panic tightening his jaw, and then he answered with the first lie that came to him.
He told her he was at a local bar. Saying he needed a drink to take the edge off the work-related stress he was going through.
Until that night, Gabriel barely drank, nothing stronger than wine.
But when he hung up, he went straight for the minibar and knocked back two small bottles of whiskey in quick succession, wincing as the liquid scorched his tongue.
He told me it was so she’d smell it on his breath later and believe him.
He knew she wouldn’t be pleased, but it was better than the alternative.
I didn’t realize it then, but I think that was the night he developed a taste for the strong stuff. The beginning of something that would follow him long after this.
When he rushed out of the room to go back to his wife, my best friend, something inside me finally broke and excitement curdled into disgust.
I sat there alone at the foot of the bed, staring at the empty glass he used, the crumpled sheets, the proof of what I’d become, and I knew I couldn’t do this anymore. I knew it with sudden, crystal clarity.
I decided then that the next time I saw Gabriel, I would end it. For all our sakes.
But Gabriel didn’t stop calling since then, even when I ignored him.
He texted and called again and again. I refused to respond until earlier this evening, when his calls turned frantic and desperate. He begged me to meet him again, just once more on the beach.
I told him the kids were having a bonfire later to celebrate their last night in Saltspray, and we adults were invited. I lied that I’d probably be busy.
I knew I wouldn’t be. True to their word, the camp staff were flawless with the children. The accompanying adults were barely needed at all.
Gabriel didn’t give up. He was desperate to meet me tonight. I realized that trying to put off the inevitable wasn’t going to work, so I promised I’d try to slip away if a chance presented itself.
And now it suddenly does.
The children are absorbed in a game near the fire, laughing, with their faces glowing from the orange flames.
I step away from the bonfire and down the darker stretch of beach, my heart pounding harder with every step, toward The Drip, a closed beach bar Gabriel mentioned. It’s a sagging wooden structure at the edge of the camp’s territory, half-swallowed by dunes and shadows.
I see him waiting there and as soon as we’re face to face, I don’t hesitate. “I can’t do this anymore, Gabriel. I’m sorry, but it’s over.”
The words scrape my throat raw because I don’t want them to be true. In the short time we’ve been together, he has made me happier than any man ever has, even Matt.
“You don’t mean that.” He steps closer, his words nearly stolen by the wind. “I think I love you, Scarlett.”
I freeze and my hand goes to clutch my throat as I struggle to breathe.
He’s never said that before. Never even hinted at it. The word love hangs between us, heavy and unreal, and my mind stutters, unable to form a response.
Before I can speak, he reaches for me. His arm circles my waist and pulls me in.
And just like that, I’m lost again.
I forget Judy. Forget everything except the way his mouth feels against mine, the way my body responds despite every reason screaming inside my head to stop.
From somewhere down the beach, I hear children laughing, enjoying their bonfire.
I let myself sink into him. This will be the last time, the final mistake. The ending of us.
I don’t know how long we’re like that before I hear it.
A shuffle.
We break apart instantly and turn toward the sound. The bushes beside the bar rustle, the branches shifting.
Then she steps into the moonlight.
Sadie.
Her dark hair catches the silver glow, just like mine at this time of night. Her hands are covering her mouth and her eyes are wide and horrified, fixed on us.
She must have followed me. Earlier, as we walked toward the bonfire, she said she wanted to talk to me later. When she saw me leave, she probably thought we could finally be alone.
She saw everything Gabriel and I just did.
Then as we try to figure out what to say to her, she turns and runs in the direction of the camp but close to the water’s edge.
“Sadie!” Gabriel shouts, already chasing after her. “Sadie, wait! This isn’t—. Baby, I can explain!”
I stand there, rooted to the sand, my heart racing so fast it feels like it might tear out of my chest.
Explain what? Actions will trump any number of words he could ever say.
I already know what will happen next. As soon as she leaves the camp, Sadie will go straight to her mother. Judy will hear the truth from her own daughter’s mouth.
And I will lose everything I have left. I will lose my friend, but most importantly, I will lose the child I love like a daughter.
I wrap my arms around myself, shaking, and then I run back toward the camp, not the bonfire. I run until I’m behind the closed doors of my room. I need to think, to plan what I’ll say to Sadie and Judy.
I don’t stay in my room long though. Feeling too restless and terrified, I head back to the beach, the same spot Gabriel left me, where our secret was exposed. I pace and wait for him. I’m torn between running after them and knowing it’s already too late.
In the end, I sink down into the sand. Then I cry openly, rocking like a little girl, grateful that no one is here to see.
Minutes pass. Then more. But Gabriel doesn’t return.
When I finally check my watch, almost an hour has gone by and I didn’t even notice. Gabriel is still not back.
Panicking, I call him, but no answer. I text him next and wait ten minutes for a response that doesn’t come.
Eventually, I drag myself back to my room.
An hour later, there’s a knock and when I open the door, Ivy, a counselor, stands in the doorway, pale and sweating.
“I was looking for you,” she says, but doesn’t wait for a response. “Sadie, she’s nowhere to be found. One of the kids thinks she saw her running toward the water.”
Suddenly, everything shifts and fear rushes through me.
I stay silent for a few seconds. I need to choose my words carefully right now. I just nod and tell her I’ll get dressed and help search.
An hour after I join the fruitless search on the beach, the police arrive, and flashlights slice through the darkness. Voices overlapping as panic spreads.
I’m hysterical now as I scream Sadie’s name until my throat feels like it’s bleeding.
I try Gabriel again and this time he answers. On his end I hear the hum of what sounds like the TV. I quickly tell him what’s going on, and ask why he didn’t answer my calls and texts.
“Is Sadie with you? Did you catch up with her?”
He only answers with a question of his own. “What do you mean? What happened?”
He’s with Judy and that’s why he can’t answer my questions.
“Gabriel, the police are here to search for her. They’re afraid she went into the water.”
He is quiet for a long time and I’m guessing he moved away from Judy to speak privately.
Then, breathless, he tells me what happened. He ran after Sadie but he lost her. He thought maybe she ran back to her room to be alone, and of course he is not allowed inside.
“Don’t call Judy yet to tell her that Sadie can’t be found. Let’s not worry her yet. I’ll come to the camp to help with the search. I’m sure she’s fine, upset but fine. We’ll find her.” But I do hear the catch in his voice, an underlying fear.
What surprises me is that he lost his daughter and just left to go back to the apartment without even telling me. Wasn’t he worried? That thought bothers me for a while, but then I figure that maybe he thought she was safe in the camp and nothing would happen to her.
Not long after the call, they find Sadie’s sneakers on the shore, but no Sadie.
When I reach the place where they found Sadie’s shoes, I drop to the ground. For a while I stay there, tasting the salt of my own tears, the taste of regret.
Judy trusted me with her daughter and I failed her.
The police are talking about water searches now, involving the Coast Guard and divers.
When Gabriel shows up, he barely stays.
“I have to go back,” he tells me. “I need to be with Judy when she hears.”
Then he reaches for my forearm. “Please don’t tell anyone what happened,” he whispers, eyes darting toward the search party down the beach. “Not about us. Not about Sadie seeing us.”
My teeth chatter despite the warm night. “You want me to lie to the police?”
His lawyer face slides into place. “Judy cannot find out what happened tonight.”
A sob tears from my throat. “Our Sadie is missing.” The words come out ragged, barely audible over the shouts of searchers calling Sadie’s name. “What if—?”
“No, she didn’t drown. They’ll find her,” he insists, glancing at the abandoned sneakers being photographed by officers. “She probably took them off to run faster down the beach. I know my daughter, she likes to be alone when she’s upset. She’s creative when it comes to hiding spots.”
Behind us, flashlight beams crisscross the dunes. Then suddenly, a helicopter thrums overhead. Its spotlight sweeps the dark water.
“What about when they ask where I was when she disappeared?” My voice rises. “I was gone for a long time.”
“Tell them you had a headache and had to go to your room. That you planned to go back to the bonfire, but you fell asleep.”
I dig my nails into my palms. “I can’t believe you want me to lie to the police while they’re—” My voice breaks as a coast guard boat cuts through the waves, searchlight scanning the darkness. “While they’re combing the ocean for her.”
Oh, my God, what if it’s true? What if something really happened to Sadie? Heat starts to burn behind my eyes. It distorts the edges of everything in my vision.
In my mind’s eye, I imagine Sadie, her hair plastered wet to her face, her mouth and lungs full of salty water, her chest still.
Gabriel tugs me farther away from the commotion. “If you don’t, we are going to lose everything.” His fingers tighten on me. “You’ll lose your best friend. I’ll lose my wife. Sadie’s family will fall apart.”
He lied. He lied about loving me. He loves Judy more.
I pull away, wrapping my arms around myself as tears stream unchecked down my face. A police officer glances our way, then turns back to his radio.
“They’ll find her,” Gabriel repeats, softer now. “Just tell them what I told you. Do you understand what’s at stake?”
“Yes.” My throat closes as I stare at the black water, now imagining Sadie’s body rolling with the current. I feel like something inside me is breaking with each breath.
After Gabriel has left, when one of the officers approaches me with a notebook in hand, I repeat Gabriel’s story word for word.
Back in my room, I huddle on the bed, replaying Gabriel’s face when he showed up for the search.
I didn’t see horror or devastation in his eyes. His features had barely shifted while mine had crumbled completely.
His face was cold and unfamiliar, hardened by something resembling fury.