Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
I manage to fall asleep maybe only two hours before dawn. When I wake again, pale light is already filtering through the curtains. I blink at my watch. Seven.
Soft music drifts through the window. It was so hot and stuffy last night that I tilted it open. There are distant instrumental tones layered with birdsong and a low chime.
Dragging myself out of bed, I stand beside the plant that failed to hide my phone yesterday. Looking out at the lush garden sprinkled with vibrant flowers, thoughts of yesterday tighten my throat.
Finding out that Sadie is not here. That I came for nothing, except perhaps to find out a little more about what her final days here were like.
My stomach cramps sharply with hunger, and perhaps anxiety. I need to force myself to eat something at breakfast.
When I come into the dining hall at eight, only about ten tables are still occupied.
“Good morning, Miss Ellis,” says one of the staff members, the waiter I saw yesterday, serving the other adult on the pilot program. His name tag reads Jordan, and in his hand is a white coffee pot.
“Fresh coffee for you, ma’am?” He lifts the pot just a little. “Or would you prefer to start the day with a healthy kick instead? Our signature smoothie of the day is a blend of exotic fruits and greens… guava, kale—”
“I’ll just have a coffee, thank you.”
“Of course.” Jordan proceeds to fill my cup with the hot liquid.
He smiles and leaves to approach a guest at a nearby table: Quinn, the woman I got to meet yesterday.
I sip my coffee silently until Jordan is done repeating the same words he told me to Quinn, who goes for the smoothie.
After he leaves, I catch her eye and give a small wave. “Morning.”
“Hey there!” Her face lights up. “How are you enjoying your stay?”
I force my lips into what I hope is a smile not a grimace. “It’s… certainly an experience.”
“I think it’s fabulous.” She reaches for a glass of water. “I walked on hot coals last night. There was a cleansing ceremony on the beach. I didn’t see you there.”
I raise my cup and blow the steam from the surface of the liquid. “I was feeling a little unwell. Went to bed early.” I push my chair back and stand. “I’m getting some muesli. Can I bring you anything?”
“That’s sweet, but no. I’ll start with the smoothie first. It should be here any minute.”
“Okay.” Before getting up, I grab my coffee and gulp it down. The liquid warms my throat, and the vanilla undertone hits my tongue like a drug. It floods my system with momentary euphoria.
Then comes another cramp, low and twisting through my lower belly. I press a hand to my abdomen and breathe slowly through my clenched teeth, but my head begins to spin.
“Are you okay?” Quinn is suddenly at my side, her hand on my arm as she helps me sit back down.
“I—” That’s when I realize I’m clutching the edge of the table. “I’m all right, just felt lightheaded for a moment.”
“Should I get you something to eat?” She drops into the empty chair at my table and places a hand on mine. As I lower my gaze to the kind woman’s hand, I notice the blink of silver peeking out from beneath the sleeve of her black blouse.
A bracelet. Like the one Sadie wore in the photo. Like the one Megan gave me last night.
… for those who stay in the camp, Saul had told me. Staff members get them too.
Why does Quinn have one? She’s obviously not a permanent teenage resident, or a staff member.
I scan the room and my eyes land on the other adult testing out the retreat, the man Quinn pointed out to me yesterday. He’s busy pouring milk into his coffee and I notice something silver at his wrist as well.
Confused, I slide my hand from underneath her grip. “I’m fine, honestly.”
“You don’t look fine.” She pours me a glass of water, hands it to me. “You need to drink something.”
I shake my head. “If you don’t mind, I’d really like to be alone.” I force a smile. “Don’t worry about me.”
She stands up and returns to her table, but her eyes remain on me.
“Ready for our tour?” A voice from behind me makes me jump.
It’s Megan and she’s all smiles, wearing the same suit as yesterday.
“Hi… Megan.” My voice doesn’t sound right, like it’s passing through a mouth filled with cotton. “Yes.”
“Wonderful.” She rubs her hands together, then scans my table. “Did you eat anything at all?”
“I’m not hungry.” I use the little energy I have to push myself to my feet, but I almost topple. “Let’s… go.”
“Judy, are you all right?” She shoots out a hand and curls her fingers around my biceps to steady me. “We can call it off, if you like.”
“No, I’m fine.”
She nods, but as we leave the dining hall, she keeps a hand on my shoulder. As we walk away, I throw a glance over my shoulder at Quinn. Her bright smile has melted from her face.