Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
I form fists and slam them into the wooden door, the pain like shockwaves through my fingers and the rest of my arms as Megan closes in.
“Sadie!” My voice breaks with desperation. “Sadie, are you in there? It’s Mom.”
“Mom!” the voice comes again. The voice that has only lived in my dreams for six months.
I step away from the door. “That’s Sadie’s voice,” I plead.
Megan’s hand settles between my shoulder blades.
“Judy, love, your brain is desperate to find her.” Her voice is coming from far away, muffled and distorted.
She moves me away from the door. “You’re projecting what you want to hear.
Your brain has been looking for your daughter everywhere, especially in this place where she lived last.”
I don’t want to believe her. But what if she’s right?
I don’t feel like myself. My body is slowly betraying me, my limbs growing heavier, my head buzzing as though a swarm of bees is trapped inside.
Was her voice a product of my imagination? Could the weakness and the hunger be making my mind play tricks on me?
Without turning to look at Megan, I lean against the wall and press both hands on my temples and close my eyes tight.
“But I heard her,” I whisper to myself. “It was Sadie.”
“No, Judy,” Megan insists, placing her hands on my arms. “Grief is so powerful it can distort your reality. That’s why these auditory hallucinations seem so real to you, especially when your body is exhausted and you haven’t eaten properly.”
“No! I need you to open the door. I need to see.”
“Like I said, I don’t have a key for that door. What you need to do is go and have something to eat. Get some rest before checking out. You’ll feel so much better afterwards.”
Sleep? That voice I just heard will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll never be able to find rest.
Trapped in a haze, I feel myself being guided farther away from the door. I’m stumbling, and my heartbeat continues to roar in my ears.
When we’re two doors away from room 17, Megan turns to me, her brow furrowed into a deep line, lips pressed thin.
“On second thoughts, I think the best thing is for you to leave immediately. Being here is doing you more harm than good. I care so much about you, Judy, and I’d have liked nothing better than for you to have found the closure you came here looking for.
It’s a shame that it only opened wounds that have not healed. ”
I start to believe her, to allow her to lead me away.
And then I hear it again. My head snaps up. I know Megan hears it too. I see it in the tightening of her jaw.
“I know that was her,” I whisper, and whirl around, moving at great speed. Within seconds I’m standing in front of the door again, my palms against the wood, listening to the broken sounds on the other side, the silent sobs. I’m not imagining this.
“Sadie, is that you? Are you… Are you in there, baby?” Tears dripping down my cheeks, I press my ear to the door.
“Mom, please let me out. I’m scared. Mom?”
The pain in her voice slices through my chest.
My body reacts before my mind, clenching up, and my lungs seem to grow in size as I gulp in air. “I know she’s in there, Megan,” I say between gritted teeth. “Open this door right now and let me see my daughter.”
Sighing, Megan takes a few steps away from me and pulls out a phone, holds it to her ear, whispering too low for me to hear. Has she called someone to ask for a key?
Not long after, I hear footsteps thundering and then a man emerges from around the corner. The bald man I was told is a guest. He’s striding with purpose toward us, stepping over the tape.
“Sadie is dead, Judy.” Megan walks back to me. “The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on with your life.”
“You are lying,” I shout.
The man arrives and attempts to restrain me, but I fight him off, clawing at his face with my fingernails. “Don’t… Let go of me.”
Megan holds up a hand. “I’m sure Judy will be reasonable. She won’t make a fuss.”
“You knew, didn’t you?” I stab the air between us with a finger. “You knew and you made sure to hide her. You wanted me to leave this place still believing that my daughter is dead.” I blink several times as I start to sway. “Did someone… Did someone put something in my coffee?”
“What are you talking about?” Megan dips her head to the side. “Sweetheart, you’re not thinking straight. You need help. You need to go. You need to leave right now.”
“I’m not going anywhere without my daughter.” My voice is even louder.
I go back to pummeling the door and screaming Sadie’s name. I can hear her pleading for me to get her out.
Then Megan grabs me from behind, pulling me away. Her grip is no longer gentle. “You don’t want to do this,” she hisses in my ear, her breath hot against my skin. “You’re disrupting the children and harming yourself.”
Finally, I spin on her, shoving her hard enough that she stumbles back. And for the first time, I see genuine horror on her face.
The woman I thought was my friend is gone, and standing in front of me is an angry woman, her jaw clenched, her eyes bright with rage.
“Take her, Lucas,” she commands the man and he jumps into action, strong hands clamping onto my shoulders, while Megan hurries to the end of the hallway and looks around the corner.
Is she looking to see if someone is coming?
I fight Lucas with everything I have, kicking, clawing, screaming even as dizziness overwhelms me again.
But I’m dragged away from the door, inch by inch, and no amount of resisting can stop me from being moved.
“Stop!” Megan finally calls out, when we’re halfway down the hall. “I’ve changed my mind.”
I’m not sure who she’s talking to, me or Lucas.
He stops dragging me, and I instantly crumple inside his grip, panting and too weak to fight anymore.
Megan walks back and continues until she’s standing in front of the door to room 17. “Bring her,” she instructs him.
He doesn’t have to drag me this time because I use all the strength I have to walk on my own. He’s beside me as we come to stand next to Megan. His hand is still on my arm, and I can smell his sweat.
“I didn’t want it to go this way, my friend,” Megan says. “But you leave me no choice.”
She unlocks the door with a key she claimed not to have, and with the flick of a hand, she gestures for Lucas to do something. Before I know it, he releases me and shoves me forward, and into the room.
I stumble into darkness and the door swings shut with a heavy clang.
But before the light from the hallway disappeared, I saw her.
Sadie, bound and sitting on the floor next to a single, narrow bed.
Alive.