12. BACK THEN – November #2
“Remember my answer to any surgeries ?” he asks, unable to meet my eyes.
“I think so. You said something about breaking your wrist and leg and needing pins.”
Garrison nods. “I was seven and nine. First one, my dad actually saw. Hunter was pretending to be some wrestler in the driveway, and he kept trying moves on me. I was screaming for him to stop, but he body-slammed me into concrete. My wrist broke, and the bone tore clean through the skin.”
I remove my glasses, the lenses misting. “And your dad just shrugged it off?”
“Boys will be boys,” Garrison says flatly.
“And your leg?”
“I was nine, and Davis thought it’d be funny to duct tape my mouth, legs, and hands and toss me in the pool.
I sunk and struggled to reach the surface.
I ended up blacking out at the bottom, and I was told that his friend dove in, pulled me out, and basically punched my stomach until I coughed up water. ”
I don’t understand…how did he break his leg? And how could anyone do that to another person?
Garrison rubs his forehead like the memory hurts. “I stood up shaking, and Davis said, ‘Why are you being such a wuss?’. He laughed and then struck my leg with a lacrosse stick. Bone fractured.”
Horrified, I shake my head over and over.
“To him and his friends, it was all a joke. They were older. I was younger. I told my mom what happened, and she thanked the boy for saving me more than she scolded Davis for nearly drowning me.”
I fit on my glasses, my pulse speeding at the thought of Garrison spending Thanksgiving with his brothers. Brothers that would do all of that and parents that would never acknowledge the harm.
Garrison looks over at me. “It’s in the past.”
Is it? I’m so scared for him. “I’d rather you…I…will you…” Why are words so difficult for me right now? I wipe beneath my eyes. “Maine is pretty, and my mom won’t mind extra company. Ellie will probably like you more than she likes me.”
He shakes his head like it’s not possible. “I’ll be fine here.”
“What if you tell Lo? He might help—”
“ No . Please don’t tell him,” he says, panicked. “It’s not that bad anymore, Willow. Ever since they went to college, it’s been easier. Hell, ever since I could drive it’s been better.” Before I speak, he adds, “Why don’t you tell Loren about what happened today?”
“What do you mean?”
“The guys who broke your glasses,” he snaps, not at me but rather at their invisible presences.
For a moment, I’d forgotten all about that. “I can’t…” Lo will freak out. “I can’t make his life harder. He has so much to deal with already.”
Garrison twists his leather bracelet. “I’m scared for you,” he says exactly what I feel for him. “If those guys find out where you live, I’ll…” He pushes his hair out of his face. “You can spend the night here if you ever need to, you know.”
I’m speechless.
He recovers by explaining, “This is a gated neighborhood. No one can get in that shouldn’t be in here, and where you live, that apartment or dorm or whatever, it’s not like it has a lot of security.”
“I’ll be okay,” I say quietly, but the offer starts expelling the heavy tension. We acknowledge that we’re on each other’s side when other people aren’t or can’t be. I relax more than I did, and he leans against his own beanbag too.
“Sam and Dean?” he asks, remote braced in his hand. Ready to watch two hunters fight supernatural entities.
I agree with a nod, and he plays the episode. We’re more lighthearted, and we pause the show every now and then to check Tumblr.
We scoot closer and closer on our beanbags, and four-hours in, our arms are pressed together. I’m more lying down than sitting. He clicks play after we paused the show and makes funny commentary about Dean eating a hamburger.
Another hour passes, and my eyes droop. I yawn, the television screen blurring.
I only notice that I fell asleep when my eyes snap open. My cheek—my cheek is on his chest.
Oh. My.
God.
I fell asleep on Garrison. I’ve never ever been that comfortable around a guy to do that. I gently lift my head and first glance at the television.
Sam and his lush hair are freeze-framed. Garrison waited for me to watch the rest. I feel his arm wrapped comfortingly around my back, and he watches as I sit further up.
Actually, he sits up with me. “You okay?”
I push up my glasses.
Garrison licks his dry lips. “You know I wouldn’t do anything…”
“Yeah, I know.” Just friends. My heart sinks. Do I want him to do something? Partially, maybe, but not at the cost of what we have now. “I’m just surprised.”
Garrison tenses. “At what?”
“That…that I’d fall asleep on you.” I’m being painfully honest, but dropping all these walls with someone has almost felt cathartic in a way. “I’ve never done that before. With anyone else, I mean.”
His lip quirks.
“What?” I ask, his rare expression stealing my breath.
“I like being your first.” Garrison almost smiles. “Ones are my thing, remember?”
“And zeroes,” I remind him about the other number in computer language.
“Fuck the zeroes.” Garrison balances his remote on his kneecap, and I’m more aware that he’s probably been with many girls like this. It may be my first, but it’s far from his. Still, he’s sweet and slow with me, and I don’t understand why.
“Why are you so nice to me?” I ask.
It takes him aback. He’s confused, but he answers as well as he can, “Because it’d be impossible for me to be a dick to you. Is that what you’re asking?”
“You just…you care about what’s too far for me, and not many do.”
“That,” Garrison says in realization. “Yeah…” He licks his lips again, and my shyness skyrockets, tucking my arms around myself. I’m more open than usual because he’s been so vulnerable with me.
Garrison retracts his arm, but we’re still breathlessly close. “I understand what it’s like to be pushed out of personal boundaries, and I wouldn’t do that to someone. I’m not gonna do that to you, ever .”
My chest swells, and my smile overwhelms my face. Stop smiling. I try to bury my face in my hand. God, I’m such a dork.
“Can I hug you?” he asks in a breath.
I nod without removing my hand, and instantly, his arms extend around my shoulders, his biceps flexing. I reciprocate, but my arms curve around his chest much looser and lighter. He squeezes like he’s mastered the art of hugging long ago.
We’re still sitting on the beanbags, but the position isn’t awkward. He holds me against his body like that’s where he wants me to be.
My heart thuds harder.
I feel so safe with him, and I see that he feels equally safe with me. Comforted. At ease. He only draws back when I descend into my head and overthink about my actions. My limbs stiffen, and he retracts his arms.
“You know,” he says, “I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was with all my huge birthday parties until now.”
“What’s so different?”
“You.” He nearly smiles. “One real friend instead of a hundred horrible ones.”
I’m about to reply, but my phone buzzes in my backpack. I give him a look like one second and I scoot forward and dig through the backpack’s contents. I find my cell and gape at the time.
Two in the morning.
Maya has sent me four texts.
Maya : Are you okay? It’s getting late, and don’t you have school tomorrow?
Maya : Can you respond just to let me know you’re in one piece?
Maya : Not cool, Willow. If you don’t answer this in thirty minutes, I’m going to have to text Loren. It’s my roommate duty
Maya : Just called him
Not to mention the missed calls and texts from my brother, Lily, Daisy, Rose, and even Ryke and Connor. Maybe my backpack muffled them or most happened while I was asleep.
“Oh no,” I mutter.
“What?” Garrison straightens up and stands just as I do.
“I have to go.” Lo has called me ten times and left seven texts, which range from slightly worried, asking about where I am, to full-on panicked, saying that he’s five minutes away from calling the cops to find me.
And then this text:
Loren: If someone’s taken Willow’s phone—if you’ve hurt her, I’m going to wring your goddamn neck and shove your dick inside your body, you little shitty motherfucker. You’ll be peeing out of your asshole.
“I can drive you to your apartment.” Garrison grabs his hoodie.
“No that’s okay.” I sling my backpack on my shoulder.
“I need to pick up my car from Lo’s house, so I’ll just drive myself home.
I can walk to Lo’s.” Before he offers to walk with me, I add, “If Lo sees that I was with you, I think he might pop a blood vessel. I’ve never seen him this angry. ” I show the text to Garrison.
He reads it quickly. “I’ve seen that side of him already. I’m not scared.”
“You’re on good footing with him though and that took a while.” I don’t want to ruin his relationship with Lo either.
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t lie to your cousin about where you’ve been. Not because of me. I don’t have to walk with you, but just don’t lie to him.”
“Are you sure?” I ask before I leave. He wants me to be honest with Loren Hale. “If I tell Lo the truth about where I’ve been…” He may hate you.
“I’m sure.”