39. BACK THEN – February #2
His reddened eyes meet mine, and he’s a little fuzzy in my vision now, but it’s not too bad. He clasps my hand, threading his fingers. “I love you,” he says.
Tears crease my eyes.
“No matter where we are,” he tells me. “You’re always going to be my girl.”
* * *
The future feels different now that Garrison and I are planning to live apart. More somber and up in the air. But I try to push the reality behind me to focus on what’s before me.
The courtroom quiets as Robert Moore approaches the bench. My dad and I already stand in front of it. I hold my arm to my chest, nervous that everyone is looking at me. Because everyone is.
I try not to glance at Robert. Not wanting to have my earth shattered today with a mental image of his expression.
The judge looks to him. “Since the means of Mr. Hale outweigh most, I wanted you here in person. I need to make sure you haven’t been coerced, threatened, or swayed by financial means to give consent.”
The court reporter’s fingers move quickly, capturing the judge’s words.
“This is what it’s come to. I’m not surprised.” Robert’s words are a battleax to my heart.
He did raise me. Before the divorce, before things soured, he raised me.
“Are you in agreement surrendering your parental rights, Mr. Moore?” the judge asks.
I glance over at that.
Wrong move.
Robert shrugs. This nonchalant, I don’t give a shit shrug. “All along, I think I knew that she wasn’t my kid. It’s not just about looks, but no one in my family needs glasses.”
It feels like a hole is being chiseled through my chest. I’d have loved going the rest of my life not hearing Robert’s opinion about me.
But he crosses his arms and keeps going. “She doesn’t act like any kid of mine. She’s practically mute half the time.” I can’t breathe. “She dresses more like a boy than a girl.” Please stop . “She has no friends.”
Feet clatter behind me, and I glance over to see Lily, Lo, Ryke, Daisy, Connor, Rose, and Garrison all standing to their feet. All silently saying she’s my friend.
Tears stream down my cheeks. When my eyes land on Daisy, she mouths my one friend and makes a heart with her hands, smiling.
My best friend. Daisy Calloway. Her friendship is the rare, beautiful kind, and I’m never letting it go.
My smile matches hers, and I rub my wet face. I notice Lo’s cheekbones sharpening like he’s grinding his teeth. Ryke looks equally pissed. Just when I think they might explode in the courtroom, my dad’s voice cuts in.
“Can I say something, Your Honor?” He raises his hand. His face is creased with severe, strict lines.
The judge nods. “Yes.”
My dad narrows a malicious glare on Robert. The tension in the room seems to amp with that one look, setting ablaze any fake congeniality. “Don’t ever insult my daughter again, you microscopic prick—”
“Alright, Mr. Hale—”
“In the seventeen years that she was with you—did you even talk to her?” my dad asks. “Did you know she’s charismatic when you discuss things that interest her? Maybe you should’ve seen a goddamn movie with her—”
“Mr. Hale—”
“—instead of sitting around on your ass, you scum of this planet.” He fixes his suit, as though a fistfight just ended with Robert Moore bloodied on the ground.
“Mr. Hale,” the judge snaps, banging her gavel forcefully.
“I’m done,” my dad says.
And I can breathe again.
Robert has taken five steps back like he’s been physically pushed, and his beet-red face is coated in a sheen of sweat.
I think about something my dad said. How Robert should’ve seen a movie with me.
In the first few weeks of even talking to each other, Jonathan Hale asked to watch a film of my choice.
I picked Doctor Strange. And even though he hated the storyline and characters in the first five minutes, he still finished watching it with me.
“Let’s continue,” the judge declares. “Robert Moore, do you wish to give up your parental rights as Willow’s father to Jonathan Hale?”
Without hesitation, he says, “Yes.”
“Then the court recognizes Jonathan Hale as Willow’s legal and biological father. Thank you all for coming today, and congratulations Willow.” The judge’s eyes flit heatedly to Robert before she leaves the courtroom.
I almost can’t believe it. I’m…a Hale.
“Ca-Caw!” Daisy calls out to me, making the bird noise.
I laugh a tearful laugh as I turn around, and everyone in the room starts clapping. My heart has grown outside my body. Too big to fit inside me. Love. It’s all just pure, unadulterated love.
Daisy squeezes out of the row, aimed for me. Robert passes her, leaving in a hurry and probably sensing my brothers’ glares on his back. I make sure to watch this time.
I want this to be my final image of him.
Shuffling out of the courtroom with the realization that the daughter—the one he didn’t really ever want—is loved. And I never needed him.
Daisy lands beside me at the first row and passes me an envelope. “This is for you, and I’m totally kicking myself because it would’ve been awesome if you had it before…all of that.” She waves towards the judge’s bench like it’s already old news.
I carefully open the envelope. A simple silver pinky ring inside.
I immediately recognize the black square carved in the center. I gave her an identical pinky ring a long time ago when her ex-friends were harassing her.
I told Daisy, “ My favorite superhero wears this ring. It protects Tilly Stayzor from anyone outside of the Fourth Degree, basically her personal enemies . This ring is just a reminder that there are people who have your back. And we all need protection at some point. I want you to have mine .”
She’s still wearing that ring on her pinky, which means…she bought me a matching one. We’re both crying. Tears flowing down my cheeks and hers.
We smile together as I fit the ring on my finger.
“We all need a little protection sometimes,” she says, so she must remember what I told her. That crashes through me and I push back more raw sentiments. She adds, “And there are a lot of people who love you here.”
I have to take my glasses off to wipe them. “This means…so much to me. Thank you.” I fit my glasses on again.
“There’s more,” she says with a bigger smile.
More?
With a trembling hand, I inspect the envelope and take out a photograph. On the picture, a tiny little willow tree is freshly planted next to a cabin. The sign hung over the door says, Green Willow.
I immediately know what this is, and my eyes flood once again.
“You’re now officially a girl’s cabin at Camp Calloway,” she tells me. “You didn’t think I missed you, did you?” When Daisy started building her camp, she named cabins after her sisters. Pink Lily. Yellow Rose. Red Poppy.
I just never thought about myself in the equation.
Never would have assumed I’d be included.
I knew I was going to have monumental moments today, but I didn’t expect for this to be one. Feeling Daisy’s friendship and love and sisterhood wrap around me so tightly and protectively—I’ll never forget it.
She holds out her palm for our friendship handshake, but I wrap my arms around her shoulder, light as can be since she’s pregnant.
Daisy hugs me back.
Afterward, I search the courtroom for Garrison, and when our eyes meet, a bittersweet realization passes sadly between us.
London.
Philadelphia.
We’re going to split apart. Not yet. We have some months left together before I leave for college, and I hang onto those like a lifeline.