We are not
-If you don't chew you will get sick.
-I don't have time. -Did you know you cook to death? You're a real catch.
-Are you asking me out?
-You know how well you speak Spanish? You catch everything on the fly.
-Does that mean you want to be my girlfriend or shall we go straight to dessert? -The mischievous smile tells me he's joking. What a pity for me.
-I thought Americans didn't like learning another language very much.
-Spanish always interested me. Let's say I knew I would need it someday.
-By the agency in Spain.
-Among so many things.
I help pick up my plate. Blake stops me with his hand.
-You don't need to be with time on your feet. You already have a new job.
-One that I start in two weeks. I asked you to please. Do you remember?
-And I gave it to you, remember? I would like to understand why.
He scratches his neck. Whenever he's upset he does it. And these days he looks like a violin string. He walks and moves with his nerves behind his back. He doesn't take his eyes off his cell phone. Every little message bell makes him jump on the spot.
-Just because I'm a Ryder doesn't mean I'm not responsible. Finding a replacement will take some time. I don't like to let people down.
I bring the last glass close to the dishwasher. He turns strangely. It's hard for me to recognize him.
-Do you know the dangers of a big city for a naive girl like you? I'll give you a lift. You'll finish sooner.
-Ingenua? Not at all.
-You should be at home thinking about your future and not pedaling through the night in Madrid.
Blake grumbles. I think it's the first time I've ever seen him so annoyed. I don't like the authoritative tone one bit.
-I guess you don't have time for dessert either.
I shake my head.
-I am late.
-In one week the agency will absorb all your time and these meaningless jobs will be over.
-I promised and my word is law, although now that we are talking you should know that....
-Are there more? -He crosses in front of my helmet so I can't reach him.
-Yes, the radio program. It's my personal project and I don't plan to abandon it.
-The radio doesn't bother me.
-Doesn't it bother you? I don't think I'm understanding. I'm grateful for the opportunity you're giving me to work at the agency, but my life is my own. Radio is needed now more than ever.
-Now more than ever? What have you gotten yourself into?
The crossed arms highlight every drop of his swollen veins. The tense jaw looks like he's just chewed glass. What's going on?
-I'd better leave before this conversation ends badly. The helmet, please," I point behind him.
Blake makes a half turn and hands it to me without letting go.
-What time are you coming?
-What time will I come?
-The night can be dangerous.
-Late, very late, in fact, I think I just felt the spontaneous need to go out for a drink.
My patience just slipped out the door.
-I'll wait up. The fingers in my helmet are firm hooks.
-It's not necessary. I can take care of myself.
I lean back, gathering momentum. To remove the helmet from its grasp is to fight a shark. I'm leaning like a kite against the wind.
-You no longer need to take care of yourself.
-What does that mean?
-It means that if you want to get drunk as a skunk again or hook up with another asshole like your ex, I won't let you. His pupils are giving off nocturnal thunder.
-That you -what! I would never have imagined this about you. Look, if I go out at night and hook up with the stupidest guy on the planet, that's my problem. Neither you nor anyone else is going to tell me what to do. You and I share an apartment, that's the only bond that unites us. Is that clear or should I color it for you?
Blake drops his helmet and the momentum almost lands me on my ass on the floor. He leaves for his room slamming the revolving door. I'm no better.
Who does he think he is! Dangerous city, did he say? Madrid? This is my city! I was born here and we are all a charm. A charm!
-Madrid! -I squeal, putting on my helmet.
If he is upset, let him scratch.
-Scratch it!
On the way out I slam the door. If we're going to compete I've just pushed through the "Plaf!" of victory.