Blake
I lean against the door trying to come to my senses. I would kick it to the ground with my fists. I'd make you so mine that the last inch of your body would beg for mercy. God, my heart is leaking out of my mouth. Breaths of air are not enough. I need you. There can be no other. I have no use for any other! The scent of your needy body still permeates my clothes. I press my fists against the wood, wanting to tell you that it's me. Me!
I rest my head on the cold oak. Thirty insufferable days pretending an indifferent friendship that I don't feel. Last night, believing I was losing you, I wandered desperately in my own footsteps. I wanted to look for you and tell you everything. That's when I got Anthony's message saying you needed your space. I gave it to you. Even though the fear began to burn in my blood. I didn't sleep a wink all night. I waited until the fear turned to madness. For you the days work differently. You live the present with hope, for me, however, it's a continual reminiscing of what we don't live.
I evaluated my every act and word. I will do everything to wait for you. At least that's what I promised the empty cup before you arrived. And I swear I tried. It wasn't until I heard my name in your numb mouth that the good intentions shattered into tiny pieces of cracked glass. Without you I'm a vase filled with plastic flowers.
You slept and called me. Hearing my name in your dreams destroyed my flimsy decisions. You smiled with your body in tension. Your sleepy mouth was moist with desire for me. I wanted to fill you until I drowned you with my caresses, damn it! I need so much more than your sex. I want your heart, your passion, your need, your heaven, your hell and your fears. I want it all. All of it!
I'm going crazy. Maybe I already am. The hunger to feel you mine devours me. You're a fine thorn that won't stop taking over everything inside me. I must be delirious. What other reason can there be for Mariam's madness to make sense in my head? She says we were born to be together. That we belong together.... Maybe she's right and your blood comes alive in mine. Or maybe I'm just madly in love.
Seventeen years ago.
-You think my grandmother will love me," said the little girl sitting on her leather suitcase.
-I don't think anyone deserves it more than you.
The sad-eyed girl accepted the embrace of the black-haired, dark-eyed boy who cried that night because he would no longer have her with him.