Blake
To take away the scent of your body is hateful. There is no part of me that doesn't long for the touch of your desiring skin. I rest my head on the cold tile as the hot water travels down my back. My lips, my nose, my legs, my sex beg to come back to you.
I dry myself in absolute silence. I don't want to wake you up. My inability to take my eyes off you forces me to button my shirt three times in a row until I get it right. You're so pretty I can't stop peeping in my sleep.
I've had my jacket on for a while, yet here I am, engrossed in your delicate lines. The brown hair covers half of your face. The shoulder free of sheets exposes the redness left by my kisses. I check the smoothness of my freshly shaved face. I can't let my beard hurt you again.
I come over and sit next to you. Just a minute before I leave.
You breathe like a thousand agitated horses. I am amused by your lack of finesse. I'm sure if you listened to me you would be furious. Of course that would be no problem for me. I'd hold your arms up until you calmed down. You would try to break free, and I might even let you think you were the victor. Then I would use my advantage to enter you, hard and strong, again and again until, like last night, dawn finds us exhausted.
It's so incredible to have you sleeping in my bed I'd howl like a wild wolf, you're fucking mine! I've found you at last.
-Mmm good morning.
-I didn't want to wake you up," I speak without stopping my fingers from clearing your face as you stretch out your sleepy arms. Sofia Reyes is the most beautiful girl in my world.
-Did you take a shower? -You say, stroking my damp hair. I fell asleep. You should have woken me up.
-Sh, stay there," I hold you by the shoulders to keep you on my bed. The show is too beautiful to lose it so soon. It's early.
You scrub your sleepy eyes. Last night I barely let you sleep.
-I have to go to work. I don't want the boss to fire me. That voice loaded with mischief that warms my blood.
-God...
I come closer and kiss you as if I hadn't spent the whole night doing it. The thought of separating us, even if it's only for a few hours, is a torment I don't want to go through. You try to take me away from your mouth. I don't allow it. You fight against an impossible. I will not separate from you. Never.
-You cover your mouth shyly and happiness fills my face.
Less than an hour ago we were eating each other without thinking about schedules and now you're having an attack of modesty? Love, you're giving me the smiles I've never had before.
-Rest. You've barely slept.
-Neither do you," you say, ruffling my skin with the touch of your fingers on the lapel of your jacket.
-If you keep looking at me like that, I won't leave this room.
With your tangled hair and shoulders in the air revealing your naked body you are so appetizing that for a moment I hesitate to tear off my clothes and let the world roll as it pleases.
-How so?
The sheet falls, held in place by the touch of your nipple.
-I have a meeting I can't cancel," I say, looking up at the bookshelf for some strength. Is that a bear? I walk without believing my eyes. I hold the stuffed animal as I turn it from side to side. It's...-I look at you without being able to finish the sentence.
-Her name is Rainbow. She's been with me all her life. I'm very fond of her.
-Rainbow?
-Yes, it's the label that's attached to it. I always called it that.
-Always? Since when? -My heart leaks out of my mouth.
-Since I can remember.
-You don't remember anything before you lived with your grandmother?
-A wide street and a car. My suitcase and the bear. That's all. I never wanted to remember, what would be the point? She abandoned me, she doesn't deserve my memories.
I look at the stuffed animal feeling how my heart begins to paint itself with the same colors. A few weeks ago Mariam asked me if I was sure, I answered yes, and although all the details fit, last night, being inside your body, the past stopped mattering to me. I wanted the present Sofia. The rest didn't matter. This bear confirms that we are what we should not have lost. I put it back on the shelf and say goodbye without looking at you. I must go before I confess what you cannot yet hear.
-I'll wait for you at the agency. We have a lot of work to do before we go looking for the next schools.
-Schools?
-That girl, don't you remember?
I run over the words. Without saying goodbye, I leave the room. I need to get some air. That bear has poured a cold pot of reality on me. Time is our accelerated enemy. I can't waste a damn second. I must do it for you.