Intentions
-I need someone to explain again why I am transporting equipment instead of sleeping it off.
-For a collaborative program. The echo of my voice fades inside a cardboard box full of cables.
-And who are we going to collaborate with? The amoebas? It's nine o'clock on a Sunday morning! Not even God will come. It's Sunday! Did I say it clearly or shall I repeat it?
-The last two are somewhat clearer than the first thirty.
Anthony snorts as he reaches in and pulls like a rabbit out of the hutch my lucky microphone.
-They're all the same," he grumbles, as he has been doing since we met.
-Without it, I don't record," I answer, holding it by the base. It makes my voice come out tender and sweet.
-Nonsense.
-I say yes!
-You were saying sweet and tender? Of course.
-You're unbearable. Bad night? -Any girl didn't give in to your charms?
Anthony opens the computer and continues his protests behind the screen.
-Don't listen to him. He'll get over it.
I accept Blake's embrace as soothing medicine. My nerves are on edge.
-I'm with you," Blake's voice splashes through my mane as I cling to his waist tightly.
There are times when the navigating will of life needs a log to feel safe on. Blake has become that log to lean on in my foolish decisions.
-Thank you," my soft voice bounces against his torso before I feel his wet kiss on the top of my head.
-You two! Let's see if you'll cut yourselves some slack with the "I'm dying of love" stuff and help with this tangle of tangled wires.
-Your morning humor is adorable," Blake replies to Anthony, his voice full of amusement.
-And you two are so cloying.
-Hello, I'm here, how can I help? -Mariam enters the gym like a gale in autumn. Her ease and casualness is so natural that sometimes I doubt that the boy I'm holding in my arms and the young woman who just walked in are siblings.
-I didn't know you were coming.
-Yes, Anthony told me about it last night. I couldn't say no.
Blake and I looked at her in confusion.
-Last night? -Curiosity gets the better of me.
Anthony looks at us standing behind the table holding a cable that he keeps on dizzy.
-Apparently Madrid is a handkerchief.
-So, how can I help?
-There are still two boxes left in my car.
-Perfect. Mariam answers her brother as she pulls her hair into a ponytail. She is truly beautiful. The eyes are of a wet meadow. Tall and slender, the honey hair shines in shades of wheat and amber.
-I only say that on Sunday it should be forbidden to work. The Bible makes it clear.
-You're not a believer," I replied to Anthony in amusement.
-Hi, I'm Rigel, the physical education and body language teacher.
I rush over and give her two kisses as Anthony approaches Mariam to speak softly to her.
-This is Anthony, our director and sound manager.
-Thank you very much for the collaboration. It is very important for the girls.
-And where are they?
-Eating breakfast.
-On Sunday? -Here?
-Not all of us were lucky enough to have breakfast with our parents," Mariam answers Anthony with a coldness unbecoming of her. Hello, teacher. I've joined the project.
Rigel gives her a hug when he recognizes her.
-The girls will feel good to have someone from high school with them," she says before looking at Anthony with that good man's smile. Others, the ones who do have parents, don't always come to pick them up. Busy with their business, they don't have much free time for family fun.
Rigel doesn't say so, but his dislike of such parents is palpable.
-I'll get the boxes," Anthony turns around before grunting angrily. I don't understand. Today is worse than ever.
-I'll walk with you," Mariam hurried after him.
-I'll be back in half an hour with the girls. They are excited. The teacher left through the double doors of the gymnasium.
-We're here! -Laura and Karina come in with their hair in a messy ponytail. I knew they wouldn't let me down. They give us two kisses while they step on each other's feet as they talk.
Apparently, since the bus was late they looked for a cab, but since it was Sunday morning, the situation became quite complicated. After a half hour walk they ended up on the train singing with the guy with the guitar. And although he was cute he gave them the wrong direction so they got off two stops early. Sighing at their misfortunes the three of us set about sorting out the equipment. Blake decided to hook up the computers. Within seconds Mariam came in with happiness in her body and Anthony with the demon of bitchiness running through his veins.
-What's wrong with him? -Karina and Laura ask as they watch him insult the tangled headphones.
-I have no idea.
He looked at us as if he knew we were talking about him. The three of us greeted him with a raised hand and the smile of fearful girls on our faces. Pleased, but not too much, he sat down in the director's seat. Like good girls we discreetly moved our table away from his. Anthony, good is very good, but angry, he is unbearable.
-I'm glad to see you.
-I had no choice. My father is on a trip.
We are at halftime. Alba sits in the stands. I join her. With this girl I start to feel a little stalkerish. But just a little bit. The courage of a stalker who has lost her shame.
-A cookie? Is it chocolate?
-Do you carry them in your bag?
-And a couple of peach juices. You'd be surprised how much I can fit. I offer him a small carton of private label.
The poor girl hesitantly holds out her hands to me. Young people raised in cotton wool lose the true enjoyment of boundaries outside of marketing.
-It's good," she says, surprising herself with her enjoyment.
-It is. You see, when I spend a lot of time away from home I carry some snacks in my backpack. It's more economical.
-I imagine. I never carry food.
-I imagine.
We both looked at each other and laughed at the same time.
After several bites and a few sips of our one hundred percent natural with no added sugars German supermarket brand, I dare to be indiscreet and ask.
-Now that we're alone," I say as I see her ten companions hovering around Anthony and Blake. Why did you say that?
-I don't understand you. He hides his face behind an intense sip of drink.
-We can play that you never called the radio or you can tell me the truth and I can start helping you.
-No one can help me.
-How serious is it?
He doesn't answer. His eyes are glued to the latest Nike air model gleaming on his feet. I don't want to exaggerate, but those sneakers cost the same as my entire house including the hand-painted flower pots.
-I once thought I was having the worst time of my life," I say, looking at the far wall of the sports center.
-What happened to you?
-They tricked me.
-What a bastard," he covers his mouth as soon as he says the word.
-You are absolutely right. I would even add a lot more adjectives, but we don't want the director to kick us out. I mutter the last sentence with intrigue and Alba smiles at my interpretation.
-You're very funny. Why did he cheat on you?
-Reasons? I don't know. Although now that you mention it, I think that was my problem. I tried to look for reasons where none existed. At the time I didn't know how to see it that way. I suffered a lot, I even thought I was stupid, ugly and incapable.
-How did you overcome it?
-Accepting that the motives for deception were not to be found in me.
Alba looks back down at her Nike's. With her head completely down, she manages to cover her delicate face under the curtain of hair. I look at her without understanding the injustice of life.
Unhappiness leads the hearts of the rich and the stomachs of the poor. Sometimes I wonder if good people are not lost drops in a desert of selfish people. Ruben cheated me with as many horns as all the deer in the northern sierra put together, my mother abandoned me because I was not the daughter she was looking for, can you know why the world walks with its feet on its head?
-He doesn't accept me either.
The answer leaves me motionless. I did not expect it.
-A boyfriend?
My question is a whisper that gets lost in the revelry of the girls who have just improvised a Karaoke led by Laura and Karina.
-My father.
-You are not very original.
-How?
My phrase throws her off just as I expected. It's a radio trick. When you have few calls, provoking the tongues of those who dare to tell their story is an effective trick so that the program doesn't end after five minutes.
-I say that unsympathetic parents are in the majority.
-Mine is the worst of all. Nothing I do pleases him. I am his worst work.
-What about your mother?
-She accepts without saying anything. My father is the one who says what to do and what not to do.
The screams of the girls calling out to us force us to stop the conversation. We both walk down the bleachers and approach a teacher who is pouring optimism out of his pores.
-First rehearsal -Go ahead!
The girls began to pirouette. It seemed that all of them had prepared a choreography that the group staged while one of them explained them with the microphone in her hand. The activity turned out to be very instructive.
-Excuse me, Rigel. The teacher brings his ear closer, but without neglecting his attention to the girls' choreography. What is the name of Alba's father?
-His father is Morales Ponce de Leon. Oscar Ponce de León to be more exact.
The colors left my face to leave me pale as a dead woman. Something between dry and mummy.
-Oscar Ponce de León, the entrepreneur?
-The media millionaire. Yes.
-It can't be. My shoulders drop to my feet.
-Our work is finished.
Laura nods as Karina hands the tres delicias rice to Anthony. We're so late that we eat with the teams. Rigel leads the girls into the dining room, where they happily imitate their low, dramatic voices into an imaginary microphone.
-We didn't do anything. I pick up the sweet and sour pork and skewer a few pieces.
-I don't think anyone can -Laura is as hopeless as I am.
-It seems very unfair to me.
-Life is unfair. Blake replies, passing me the chicken with almonds.
-I'm supposed to look the other way because the man is a top businessman?
-From the media. Anthony says handing out the spring rolls.
-And the most important. Laura clarifies.
-And the most powerful. Karina completes.
-And the most sour. Blake answers, looking down at his plate.
-How do you know?
-I've seen it a couple of times," he says, chewing the bell pepper drowned in soy sauce.
-I will not bow my head!
-Cari, if he finds out we're talking to his daughter, that man will tear us apart like ants.
-It doesn't have that much power. I reply to Anthony who continues to focus the fork on my forehead.
-I'd be out of the studio in a snap of my fingers.
-Why you? -I asked Karina without understanding.
-That man owns shares in the most important companies in the country. Including the office where I work.
-And if you do not own shares, you own debtors. In business, smiles are bought between monetary wills.
Anthony nods to Blake with his fork held high and an intense shake of his head.
-Blake, you have a lot of contacts that..." Mariam is silenced by her brother's deep gaze.
-My current problems are focused on other objectives," Mariam ducks her head at her brother, "but I can make time and try to pull some strings without him feeling attacked.
-Would you do that? -Mariam claps her hands with the spring roll in her mouth.
-For you? All of it.
The smile stops at a time that doesn't move. I'm so happy, if I wasn't surrounded by Chinese food with friends surrounding us on all four sides, I'd push him off the stage and dive in. His mischievous gaze lights up before he winks at me. He has caught my hidden desires.
I bow my head with the colors of excitement dancing with my hopes. Alba is my personal project. I want to help her. It is a stupid and unrealistic desire, but I feel that if we, who are sick with loneliness, could unite, we would turn our strength into a curative vaccine for our own illness.
-Then the teacher is mine, isn't he? -Karina looks at Laura, who narrows her gaze.
-Why yours?
-Mariam is very young and Sofi is caught.
Blake rests his hand on my shoulder confirming the statement.
-I'm not that young! -Mariam's laughter escapes her reply.
-I don't see what all the fuss is about. He's not that handsome either.
The four of us looked at Anthony before bursting into a laugh that made him hide his bad mood behind his plate.
-More handsome than me? -Blake stabs me with his eyes.
-Never," I say as I wink at his sister, who is having fun making faces at him from behind his back.
-I'll write this one down for when we're alone.
Blake speaks almost imperceptibly into my ear, but with such warmth in his words, that I just swallowed an almond whole and without chewing.