Blake
-Bravo. And a thousand times bravo.
The heat that once accompanied me freezes. The sweat of a prey before the hungry viper takes over my hidden fears.
-What are you doing here?
-It's good to see you, too.
What is Raúl doing here?
-I arrived this morning from Barcelona and as expected I couldn't hold back. I had to listen to the best radio program.
My girl's cheeks flush with shame. Mine light up with rage. The happiness of previous moments vanishes before the reality that hits my forehead.
Raul, here, in front of me, is the constant reminder of chains, that even if I want to break, I cannot. She would not accept the truth. I must wait until my actions are an impossible act to break.
The thought of cheating on her disgusts me. It makes me feel like a despicable being walking in a sea mixed with hundreds of pounds of cornstarch. You never know when the whitish surface might crack, sinking with my life inside.
-Did you like it?
-Why do you think I'm here? And with Ponce de Leon's daughter no less. It was fantastic!
The idiot's words give him that smile by which all my lies take on their unwavering purpose. I cannot live without you. My parents took away my happy childhood, my uncle took it upon himself to corrupt my illusions. You are the only thing I want. I will fight against stone walls not to lose you.
-How did you know? I didn't tell anyone. Aying don't say I mentioned who his father was.
-I know it and all of Twitter. The old curmudgeon posted about the wonderful Sofia Reyes and her immense work. He invited his millions of followers to listen to the new voice of Madrid.
-Are you serious?
-You must have dinner with me. Or rather, you must have dinner with me.
My back tightens. If we were alone, his face wouldn't feel like smiling anymore. I fix my murderous gaze on his forehead, but the bastard ignores it.
-I'm a little tired," your gaze is searching for me, begging me to release you.
-Maybe next week. Today has been too exhausting and he needs to rest.
The asshole smiles. He knows that in his fist are my balls.
-You can go and rest. The future voice of Madrid and I have a lot to talk about. I wish I could close our deal before anyone else. Sweetie, you owe me.
-I don't want to sound rude, but as says, it's been a terrible week, however, they have great patatas bravas on the corner, and I were on our way there. If you're up for it we'd be happy to treat you.
I feel twice as wide as I did a few seconds ago. You come closer proving to the asshole that I am your chosen one. I kneel at the feet of your magnificence. I accept your closeness and extend my power by grabbing you around the waist. She's my girl. Fuck you, asshole!
-I may accept.
You head to the recording room to collect your things.
-What are you trying to do? I mutter to her with my teeth clenching so tightly that she doesn't hear us.
-Is there something wrong with your voice? I know some fantastic mint and honey infusions.
-What the fuck are you looking for?
-Me? Are you talking like that because she doesn't know we know each other? Don't worry, if you want we'll tell her that you and Simon have been using her, period. Topic solved.
-What is your price?
The viper moves and my fists cramp between hundreds of withheld punches.
-For you rich kids, everything has a price. Dad's inheritance, my uncle's agency, the sports car at the door. You think San Talonario solves everything. We're not all so shitty.
-You have no idea what I am capable of.
-By their works ye shall know them. Verse from some page of the bible that I can't remember now.
-You're an asshole, you son of a bitch.
-And you're a stupid phony.
-I am ready.
You approach and I choke back my heated response. I could spit a hundred insults at you and feel that I still haven't managed to empty myself, however, my more conscious part stirs and shuts up. The prick is a climber who enjoys waiting for me to fall. I don't blame him. Something about what he said hit me full on. I'm a liar whose way is running out.
The glow of the spring stars drifts into a room charged with the scent of musk, passion and madness. I look at you accepting that you are everything I needed. Long auburn hair bathes your whitish back. Your beautiful body outlines the preciousness of the soul that completes it. Hands clasped in front of your face like a virgin forgiving idiots. I bow to you as one of your faithful, and the first of the eldest on your list of idiots.
I walk to the window looking outside. The coolness makes my naked body bristle. I close my eyes. Thoughts clog my brain. My head hammers with regrets that I hold back so they don't escape. You sleep without knowing that the lying wolf stalks you in the short distance of your trust. The bitter smile reaches me and disgusts me. What will happen to us?
We didn't even make it through the door when I crazedly dragged you into my bed. I needed to bury myself in your body. To take over every nook and cranny, even the smallest nooks and crannies. I fear that one day you will demand me to give them back to you and push me away as an unimportant memory. My brow furrows at a hundred doubts with only one answer. Truth.
Maybe if I had acted differently I wouldn't find myself with the noose around my neck. It's funny, but with the rain past no one ever gets wet.
You rest wrapped in the sheets of love. I suffer it in a stormy silence. Only air falls from the hourglass. Our time has come, although I don't have the courage to accept it.
I slowly approach your bed. Rainbow watches me from the bookshelf.
-Hello, my friend. I missed you too.
His stuffed mouth does not answer. Just as well. I don't want to hear him call me an idiot too. You sleep so peacefully that I need to absorb some of your peace. To be by your side is to live life. But not like breathing or walking or eating. To have you is to see behind the dark night sky the sun that hides. With you everything is easy. You are the hand I can't let go of.
I caress your hair capturing in my fingertips its silkiness. The thought of losing you breaks my mental consistency.
-If only you could remember me. My Love...
You abandoned your memory in the past without knowing that with them you were leaving something that belonged to you. To me.
-Mmm.
You open your eyes. You watch me sleepily and the smile lights up your face. I love it when they shine for me. You wake up stretching your sensual arms. Your naked body peeks through the sheets. Mine squirms with the desire to have you again.
-Do you never rest?
-I like to watch you sleep.
-Ugly, lank and disheveled?
-Precisely mine.
I am unable to keep my hands away from your hair. They are the strings of my harmonic melody. You smile at me. I smile at you. You taught me how to do it. Before you the attempts didn't reach the pass mark.
-This time together," you sit up on the backrest. The pink breasts show themselves to me with a naturalness that warms my blood.
-Love..." I enclose her roundness with the whole of my hand. The size is perfect.
-No, wait, maybe another time I won't have enough courage to speak," you sit in front of me with the naturalness of a woman in front of her partner. I caress your shoulder unable to stop feeling the saving warmth of your skin.
-.
-I am listening.
You gently hold my fingers and lock them with yours to rest them on your chest. You force me to put all my willpower not to cling to your body and forget all the small talk.
-I've been wanting to come clean for a long time. You see, since I was a little girl I felt very lonely. I always suffered for what other girls had and I did not. When they pointed to their mothers in the ranks, I bowed my head. I rebelled and mourned the abandonment until I made it part of me. A thorn for which I felt guilty -I listen to you without understanding-. Later, as a teenager, I enrolled in courses and attended therapy. I did everything to get out that pain I was carrying right here inside -you press our hands on your chest-. You know, they don't say it out loud, but I learned to listen to people's begging looks.
-Sofia. I want you to shut up. I don't want to listen. Her finger presses my lips to continue.
-It is the truth. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I hid my mother's abandonment under hundreds of heavy blankets so no one would find me out. I lived with it. I even created a radio show thinking I was doing it for others like me. It was a lie. I did it all for me. Every word I gave them was a lesson unpracticed by my actions. I think that led me to be a trampoline girl. At times I would launch myself into the air and at some others I would corner myself into a crashing fall. But all that began to change when I met you. At your side I have the strength to recognize my truth. In the program with Alba I told my story without shame. And I owe it all to you. With you it's different from my grandmother or my friends. You owe me nothing. There are no obligations between us. You give me your affection because you like me. Just because you want to be part of my world. You didn't look for me, destiny crossed us.
-Sofia...
-I love you for that," you rush the words hurting my guilty fibers. You've given me courage to feel strong. We are two crazy people who fell in love. It may seem silly to you, but for someone like me to feel chosen is as if the feeling of abandonment is erased every day a little bit more.
Fears of losing you materialize in a disgusting reality.
-What if we already knew each other? -My voice trembles. "What if we had a previous history? What does it matter what we were compared to what we are today.
I press my cold hands into yours.
-It matters everything. I am your choice, not your obligation or your sorrow. You come closer and kiss me.
Your hands caress my face. My lips are transformed into hard demand. The desperation of believing I could lose you awakens my deepest desires. I want to make you mine until I erase all that has been done to you. My tongue thrusts into you like a sharp sword. I am not gentle. I hold your head so you won't move. You must be mine to the last corner of your doubts. You must accept that we love each other and that I am yours. You have always been my chosen one. Even when I didn't know if you still existed.
-Love.
I madly repeat your name as I drag your body to the mattress. Your nails dig into my bare back as I kiss your neck wildly. I can't hold back. The need for you devours my reasoning.
-I need you," the words plead through my demanding mouth.
My body is positioned over yours. Heavy, agitated. The heat burns me. My control is broken.
I press my hardness on your crotch. I am dizzy with need. My torso rises and falls with my breath choking my lungs. The fabric of my briefs is all that separates us. I don't care. I keep pushing. I do it for us.
-I can't help myself," I say with what little coherence I have left. I tense up in front of you to look at you. Your eyes are thick honey. I don't want to hurt you.
-You don't hurt me.
Your hand slips down to my waist. You begin to pull the garment down, helping yourself with your legs. It's the acceptance I needed. You know I need you and you accept me despite my madness. I love you even more for that.
Our naked bodies face each other. Your legs cross behind my back. You give yourself with all the consequences. I throw myself into you in need of you. I am thirsty in the desert. I bury myself deep until our bodies hit becoming one. I hide my head inside our scent loving each other. Your wetness imprisons me and surrounds me.
-You have always been mine. You've always...
The words answer my dazed thoughts. They are not for you. They are born for me.
I pull away and push myself with accelerated pace. Your moans of a desired woman stun my thoughts.
-I love you. Never doubt it
-And I love you.
We confess to each other until the convulsions of your body sweep away the uncontrolled desires of mine. I sink into you with my hands pinned to my sides. The agitated heart seeks your air.
I position myself next to you and pull you to rest on my chest. I kiss your nose and caress your breasts.
-This is not over.
Smiling you climb on top of me. You innocently take me inside you without understanding the true meaning of my words. I will not let it end. You are mine today, and you will be mine tomorrow.