Chapter 44
FORGIVENESS DAY
Declan
Nothing makes me smile more than Ginny giving me a piece of her mind.
“I love you, and I’m so mad at you right now,” she says as we lie in her bed with my dog on top of us.
She’s still sniffling even as she’s laying into me.
I wipe a tear off her cheek. “I love when you’re mad at me.”
“You can’t give up your dreams just because I might’ve had a bad day.”
“That’s exactly when I should give up my dreams.”
“Declan.”
“You’re number one, Ginny. Nothing else matters. Just you. And I’ll repeat it as much as I need to until you believe me.”
“Stop making me cry more.”
I pull her close again.
Her fucking mother.
I hate her fucking mother.
And I’m taking an inordinate amount of delight in knowing that the best revenge against a narcissistic rock of a human being is to ignore them.
She’ll spend the rest of her life thinking about us, and we’ll work through today and find closure and never think about her again.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Ginny whispers against my chest.
“Nowhere else even exists.”
Flow barks once, clearly agreeing with me.
Ginny takes a shuddery breath, then asks the question that I know has also been on her mind. “Does Alex know?”
“Yes.” Or so his text messages say.
“And you—you’re—you’re okay?”
“I’ll call him later. But if he can’t accept you, if he can’t accept you and me—then I don’t care how long we’ve been friends. We’ll be done.”
“Declan.”
“Friends forgive, Ginny. Friends understand. I love you. You. The amazing woman that you are. That you’ve always been. You’re where I’m happy. You’re where I belong. You’re where I want to spend my life.”
“It’s so hard to want to be everything you deserve when I know the only thing you want is for me to be me.” She scoots against me, then lifts her head to meet my gaze, lifting a hand to brush my hair off my forehead. “All I want is you to be everything you are too. You’re my number one.”
“I’d get it if I came after Mabel.”
“Declan Eugene Motherfucking Fox.”
I crack up.
Can’t help it.
“Eugene isn’t actually my middle name.”
“It is now.”
I snicker again, then pull her close and kiss her.
Her cheeks are wet. Her lips are dry. She tastes like coffee.
And mine.
She tastes like mine.
“Are you trying to kiss your way to my good side?” she murmurs against my mouth.
“Yes.”
“I suppose I’ll allow it.”
“It turns me on when you give me shit.”
She laughs, light finally coming back into her eyes. “That’s so fucked up.”
“Not when you consider the alternative. I don’t ever want you bending over backward because you feel like you have to earn my love. Understand?”
“Bossy.”
“Right.”
She presses a kiss to my lips, and I lose myself in the feel of her.
Kissing her.
Stripping her.
Touching her.
Whispering I love yous while she rides me.
Hearing her gasp my name as she comes around my cock.
The way her hair tickles my face when she collapses on top of me, spent and boneless.
Her voice when she whispers, “We’re done, Flow, you can get back on the bed.”
I laugh despite my own bonelessness.
I think she’s shifting to make room for my dog but belatedly realize she’s grabbed my phone and held it to my face to open it.
“Wha—” I start, but then I hear it.
Alex’s voice.
“What the actual fuck, you fucking asshole?” he snaps.
“Hello, Alex. It’s Ginny.”
I lunge for her, but she stops me with a single look.
Then my own dog growls at me in the silence coming through my phone.
“What. The fuck. Do you want?” Alex says.
“For you to get over yourself,” Ginny replies.
A sputtery cough comes through the phone.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m sorry I broke up with you because I was terrified of commitment.
I’m sorry I tried to stop your wedding. I’m sorry your name gets dragged back through the mud every single time my name pops up in the news.
But mostly, I’m sorry that I never told you that I like being messy.
I’m sorry I never told you I was afraid I was unlovable because my own mother is incapable of real love.
I’m sorry I didn’t start therapy sooner.
I’m sorry I pretended that I loved making you dinner every night when it was actually a fuckton of work on top of my day job.
I’m sorry I hid my truth from you. I was a shitty girlfriend, and you deserved better. ”
I stare at her, sitting there, naked, holding me captive with her gaze locked on me while she spills her heart out to my best friend.
Her ex.
The man she spent four years of her life with.
“Am I supposed to forgive you because you were a fuckup?” Alex finally says. “Is that what this is?”
Flow growls.
Snarls, actually.
“Yes,” Ginny says. “That’s exactly what this is.
You’re supposed to forgive me for being a bad girlfriend.
The same way I forgive you for being a shitty boyfriend.
Because a good boyfriend wouldn’t have taken everything I did for you for granted.
A good boyfriend would’ve looked at who I was and where I was coming from and why I did the things I did and dug deeper.
But you never did. Because I made your life easy.
And I take full responsibility for doing this to myself, but you don’t deserve Declan if you can’t take full responsibility for your own actions and inactions too. ”
Silence rings loud on the other end of the phone.
My vision blurs.
My parents are rock stars. My brother is my biggest hype man.
Always neck and neck with Alex.
Whose friendship I’m risking by dating Ginny.
But Ginny’s Ginny.
And she’s more.
Stronger and braver and bigger-hearted than I give her credit for, and I give her a lot of credit.
Having my back.
Doing the work to lay boundaries but also build bridges.
So that I can keep my friend.
“I…noticed how much you did…after you were gone,” Alex says.
“Are you happy?” Ginny asks softly.
“I…am.”
“Married?”
“Yes.”
“Kids?”
“One. Little girl. She’s—she’s eleven months.”
“Congratulations. I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it.”
“Even though I was a shitty boyfriend?”
“I share the blame there in not asking for more. But you were always good to me, and I always appreciated that.”
Alex is quiet again for a minute.
Then—“Foxy?”
I swipe my eyes. “Yeah.”
“I’m gonna kick your ass on the ice next week.”
“Not playing,” I tell him.
“Why the fuck not?”
“I’d like to know that as well,” Ginny says.
Goddammit.
I suck in a breath that makes my eyes wetter and my nose burn and a lump stick in my throat.
My girlfriend and my best friend, teaming up against me.
“I always loved her, Alex,” I say quietly.
He sighs. “I know, bro. And you’ll be good for her.”
Ginny and I lock eyes, and I can see she’s as surprised as I am.
“You—you what?” I sputter.
“I knew,” Alex says.
“But—but how?”
“Bro, it was all over how you acted. Took me a minute to realize you were keeping her at a distance by being a dick, and then I figured it out, but I didn’t want to embarrass either one of us if I was wrong, and I didn’t care.
I mean, I didn’t want you to be mean to her, but I didn’t want you to try to steal her either, so I thought it was just…
for the best. For us to not talk about it. ”
Ginny purses her lips together, half smiling, half shaking her head. “Not talking about it and pretending everything’s fine is always the problem, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Alex says heavily. “It really is.”
“You knew,” I say again, still wrapping my brain around this.
“And you’re my best friend,” Alex says. “And this won’t change that. Okay?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “Thanks, man. I—I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you being cool about this.”
Ginny smiles at me.
Her eyes are misty too.
“Ginny?” Alex says.
“Yes?”
“Hurt him and die.”
A tear slips down her cheek and heads toward her smile. “Good. You might still deserve him.”
“I’ll take care of the shitheads on socials talking about us,” he says. “You two just—just be happy, okay? And again, hurt him and die.”
“Thanks, bro,” I say thickly.
“We friends or not?” he replies.
“We’re friends.”
“Exactly.”
We chat for another minute about inconsequential things, taking that step back into normality, then hang up.
I look at Ginny.
She looks back at me.
“He knew,” I say.
Her smile grows until she laughs softly. “That’s so Alex. Not wanting to shake up the status quo even if it needs to be shaken up.”
“I thought I was doing such a good job of keeping the secret.”
“It’s good to have friends who can see through you and love you anyway.”
“It really is,” I agree. I shift in the bed, moving to lay my head in Ginny’s lap. “Do you have any idea—” I start, but I can’t finish.
I’m getting choked up again.
“I think I do, Mr. Flew Across The Country So I Wouldn’t Have To Be Alone Even Though I Wasn’t Alone,” she murmurs as she threads her fingers through my hair.
“I love you.” I press a kiss to her bare leg.
“Love you back,” she replies. “Now. When does our plane leave to get us to Copper Valley and you back on that hockey team?”
I’ve always loved her.
Always.
But every day, I love her more.
Ginny’s not hell on my heart.
She is my heart.