Chapter 28
Istared at my reflection in the floor-length mirror as I smoothed my hands down the black cotton dress I was wearing. Today was my mom”s funeral, and I”m not sure how I was going to make it through. When my dad asked if I would give the eulogy at the service today, I knew I couldn”t tell him no. The thought of standing up in front of the whole town to speak brought waves of panic, but I knew if Dad tried to get up there, it would break him even more.
Being the oldest came with its responsibilities, and while I never in a million years imagined this would be one of them, I would step up if it meant sparing Dad and Eden from the pain of having to talk.
When I couldn”t sleep last night, I decided to get up and write, hoping that getting everything out on paper would help me process the reality of this tragedy.
A soft knock brought my mind back to the present. ”Come in,” I called.
Eden popped her head into the room and gave me a sad smile. ”Are you ready?” Eden was wearing a black dress similar to mine, with her caramel-colored hair pulled back into a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck. She didn’t have any makeup on, probably thinking it wouldn”t last long anyway. It was the same reason my face was makeup-free as well. Eden”s cheeks were rosy, and her eyes were misty like she”d already been crying this morning.
Another thing we had in common.
I was going to need my sister to make it through this day. I walked slowly to where she stood in my doorway and looped my arm in hers.
”Yeah, let”s go,” I whispered.
Every seat in the church was filled, and there was still a plethora of people standing in the back. It wasn’t surprising, but it was a beautiful reminder that Mom was well-loved by this entire town, and Ashwood Falls stepped up when someone was in need.
My dad gave my leg a gentle squeeze before approaching the pulpit.
”Thank you all for being here today. My dear friend Pastor Albert will be leading the service today. I just wanted to thank you all for the outpouring of love you”ve shown my family during this time. We will be forever grateful.” A lone tear slipped down Dad”s cheek as he handed the mic to Pastor Albert.
Albert is the associate pastor at our church, and he and his wife Linda have been lifelong friends of my parents. If Dad wasn”t going to do the service, it only made sense for Pastor Albert to do it.
”At this time, I would like to invite Karis Thompson up to read the eulogy.”
The room was silent except for the occasional sniffle as I approached the stage. I gave Pastor Albert a friendly smile, even though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes.
I settled behind the pulpit and laid out the papers I’d spent the whole night writing on. Taking a deep breath and asking the Lord for strength to make it through, I lifted the microphone to my mouth.
”Today, as we gather to say goodbye to my beloved mother, Barbara, I am overwhelmed by both sorrow and gratitude. Sorrow for the profound loss of a woman who was the very heart and soul of our family. Gratitude for the blessing of having had her as a guiding light in my life,” I took a steadying breath and wiped the stray tears from my cheeks.
”My mother was not just a mother but a beacon of love, faith, and strength. Her constant devotion to God was the cornerstone of our family, and her faith was a source of inspiration for all who knew her. In times of joy and sorrow, she found peace in scripture, reminding us of the power of God”s love and grace. Some of my fondest memories with my mother were in the kitchen, where her love for baking brought us together. The aroma of freshly baked cookies or the sight of her meticulously decorating a cake filled our home with warmth and joy. Those moments, spent side by side, were a testament to the love and care she poured into everything she did.”
I took a second to breathe, refusing to make eye contact with anyone in the building. If I saw others crying, I would never make it through this.
”But beyond her talents in the kitchen, my mother was the light and life of our home. Her laughter was infectious, her kindness boundless, and her presence filled every room with warmth. Whether she was offering a listening ear, a comforting embrace, or words of wisdom, she had a way of making everyone feel loved and cherished. As we say goodbye to one of the greatest women, I take comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain. She is probably in Heaven singing and dancing with Jesus. One thing I know for sure is she has left behind a legacy of love and faith that will continue to guide us in the days ahead. Though she may no longer be with us in body, her spirit will live on in the memories we hold dear and the love we carry in our hearts. May we find comfort in the knowledge that she has found peace in the arms of our Heavenly Father. Thank you.”
I clutched the loose papers to my chest and returned to my seat. Once I was within reach, Eden extended her hand. I grasped it and held it in my lap as Pastor Albert continued.
The rest of the service passed in a blur. My mind wandered from memory to memory, trying to shove down the bone-deep sadness that was threatening to overtake me. I needed to make it through the rest of the funeral, and then I could fall apart. When I was alone in the safety of my room, I could let it all out. I had been trying to hold it together for the sake of Dad and Eden, but I didn”t think I could last much longer.
As soon as the service ended, I stood at the front of the church next to Eden and Dad as people made their rounds, offering their condolences. The last place I wanted to be was shaking people”s hands and seeing their looks of pity, but the people of Ashwood Falls had the right to grieve just as much as I did.
After what felt like hours, the last person walked out the church”s front door, and Dad turned to me and Eden. He looked more broken than I”d ever seen him. I couldn”t help but pray he”d get through this without completely losing himself.
Dad pulled us both into an embrace and kissed the top of our heads. We stayed like this for a few minutes before he pulled back, giving us a sad smile.
”Why don”t you two head home? I”m just going to take some time here and I’ll be there soon.”
My initial instinct was to tell him no, that we”d stay together, but the pleading look he gave us had me agreeing. I didn”t want to leave Dad, but I knew that he probably needed time to grieve in his own way without having to worry about his daughters.
“Okay,” I gave him a nod before grabbing Eden by the arm. She shot me a worried look, but I shook my head and tugged her toward the door.
Just before we reached the front doors, Dad”s voice rang out through the empty church. ”I love you, girls.”
The dejection in his voice stopped me in my tracks. Eden and I slowly spun around to face him. ”We love you, Daddy,” I said before Eden said, ”More than anything.”
The drive back to the farmhouse was quiet. Both of us were caught up in our own thoughts. The one truth I chose to cling to was from the Bible verse that promised God was close to the brokenhearted. It was only by His grace that our family would make it through.