Chapter 43
forty-three
ROWAN
I can’t believe this is happening. Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? How do I prove to myself that this is real? I could poke her in the head.
Okay, I can’t help it.
“What the—” Ellie looks up at me. “Did you just poke me in the head?”
I look down at her and her furrowed brows.
“I was just making sure this is real and not some wild dream that I’ve had before.” I spread my arms out.
She smirks and says, “You’ve dreamt about this before?”
“Only a million times.”
“Ah, not a million and one? Got it. Well, it’s real. I’m real. I’m here, facing off with your dick that I really want right now. So, can you let me do my thing?”
“Yes, please,” I answer quickly.
“Good,” she whispers and then presses her lips to my stomach with a smile. “I’ve dreamed about this too. How much I’ve missed having you, touching you, tasting you.” She grips the top of my briefs and slowly drags them down.
My abs clench with excitement and desire.
She drags my briefs down, and my dick springs up, finally free from the shackles that were my briefs. I watch every expression on her face, trying to read it for myself. Her eyes widen. That’s good. Her lips are parted. That’s better. Then she lifts her eyes to me.
“Rowan,” her voice wavers.
I don’t say anything and continue to watch her. I’m eager to hear what she wants to say. Again, she’s seen me before, but maybe it’s different now.
“No other woman is allowed to have you ever again.” Her brows rise in confirmation.
She grips my throbbing dick in one of her hands and kisses the tip of it. I suck in a breath through my teeth at the touch of her lips. She takes her time with me, kissing every inch like she’s claiming me. She can claim me all she wants.
I put my hand on her head before asking, “Is this okay?”
Her lashes flutter, and she grips me tighter, nodding her head. She sticks out her tongue and licks the underside of my tip, making me groan.
“Fuck.” I pant, trying to control myself.
She smiles and then wraps her mouth just around my tip and sucks on it teasingly. I feel my hand grip her hair, trying to control myself and not wanting to hurt her.
“Ellie, I need to tell you something.”
She keeps her mouth on me but lets out an, “Hm?”
“I haven’t been with anyone in almost ten months. I don’t know how long I’ll last, especially now that it’s with you.”
I see this look in her eyes, a sparkle and a smug smile before taking my entire length in her mouth. She gets about halfway until she needs to pull back and release me.
“I want you to know,” she says. “You can grab my hair, control me if you want. I don’t mind. Not with you.” Without any warning, she guides me back into her mouth.
My hand grabs her hair again, and she lets out a sweet, sweet moan. She tries to get me deeper into her mouth, but she gags. That makes me want to come. I try to pull myself back, but she grips the sides of my legs and takes me in again.
“Shit,” I groan out.
She takes my dick in her hands again and works them up and down with her mouth at the same time. Sucking and pumping. My hips start to move on their own accord while my hand gently pushes her head in rhythm.
“Holy shit,” I sigh out and drop my head back. “This is all I fucking want, Ellie. You’re all I want.”
She grips me tighter and speeds up to match my rhythm. I start to pant and grab her hair more, twisting it in my palm. I tug on it a little harder, not thinking before doing it, and to my surprise, Ellie moans and whimpers in pleasure.
“Fuck, I’m close,” I pant out.
I don’t want to come in her mouth. I need to be inside of her, now. I pull myself out with force, and she looks at me while she licks her lips. I pull her up by the waist and scoot her further on the bed.
I’ve lost all self-control at this point. I pull down the black lace she’s wearing and stand in front of her, running my hand through my hair. She lays there as I trace every inch of her with my eyes, making sure I remember everything. Her freckles, her birthmarks, the way her breasts move when she breathes.
“Turn around for me and hold on to the headboard,” I demand.
Without hesitation, she’s on her knees with her ass facing me. My hands are on her waist and trailing up the sides of her until I can feel her breasts in my hands. I bend down to kiss between her shoulder blades. My dick rubs above her ass.
I move my lips toward her ear and say, “I’m going to start slow. If you need me to stop, tell me. Don’t force yourself if it becomes uncomfortable and hurts, okay?”
All she does is nod for me, and I kiss her temple.
“I don’t think you understand how weak you make me.” I trail my lips on her earlobe.
I let my hand slide up the side of her stomach to her arm and then place my hand on hers so we’re both gripping the headboard.
I grab my dick with my other hand and start rubbing around the precum that’s spilling out. I tease both of us a little bit, rubbing my tip over her sensitive clit and down near her entrance.
“Do you want me to use a condom?” I ask. I chuckle as I say, “I would need to steal one.”
“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I haven’t…slept with anyone in months. I want to feel all of you inside me, Rowan. I didn’t get to before.”
“You want me to fill you up, Ellie?” I whisper to her.
All she gives me is a whimper, and I smile against her neck, still rubbing myself against her. My precrum lubricated her on top of how wet she was. I want to bury myself in her.
“Has any other man done that to you before?” I let go of myself and wrap my arm around her, letting myself feel how wet she is for me.
She gasps at my touch before shaking her head and saying, “I’ve always used condoms. Even with…him.”
I feel a wicked smile play across my lips. The thought of her wanting me to be the only man that goes in her bare and raw. Fuck. I need to slow down my thoughts. I grab my dick again and rub myself against her.
She tilts her head up and turns her gaze on me. “Don’t make me beg.”
“How badly do you want me inside you?” I continue to tease us, allowing myself just a taste by letting my tip go inside.
She moans out of frustration and tries to push her hip into me, but I pull mine back.
“Rowan,” she cries in desperation, and fuck if that doesn’t make me want her more.
I give in and slowly give us what we both want, feeling her tightness and warmth around me. We both moan once I get the tip in, and I need to breathe.
“Please, Rowan. I need more,” she gasps out.
I shake my head. “I need to go slow for both of us. Just getting a taste of you right now is putting me over the edge.”
She whines and tries to push herself onto me, but I grab her waist, holding her. My dick throbs as I slip into her, inch by inch.
“Fuck,” she cries out.
I let out another breath and pushed myself in fully. We both moan in pleasure, and my fingers dig into her waist. I move her hips, pumping myself in and out. She continues to moan and say every curse word under the sun. She holds onto the headboard but lowers herself, giving me more access to go deep into her.
I start to feel her lose control of herself. She starts to move with me, slamming into me harder and harder. The headboard continues to hit the wall, and I put my hands over hers, so she doesn’t destroy her knuckles.
I use the headboard to thrust into her. I start to lose myself, picking up my pace and slamming into her.
Right now, I know this is us fucking, not making love. I know the difference, and I’m okay with that right now. Because I know we’ll have our moment where we can make love slowly, lazily, wrapped in each other’s arms. What we’re doing now, ravenous and wild, is from all the pent-up sexual frustration between us, and we can finally have what we want.
I feel her hand beneath mine grip the headboard harder as she tries to catch her breath. I let my other hand wander and grab one of her breasts. My fingers skim her sensitive, peaked nipple. I test her and pinch it.
“Oh my God, ” she cries out again.
I smile and pinch it again. “He isn’t here right now, baby. It’s just me.”
“Rowan,” she moans out after I continue to pinch and rub her nipple between my fingers.
I attempt to slow down my hips, wanting to feel every part of her. I pull out until it’s just the tip and push myself back in, pulling a moan from her. I do it again, getting a gasp from her.
“You make the most beautiful sounds come out of that mouth of yours,” I say, bending down when I place my lips on her shoulder.
I pull my dick out when I feel myself toward the edge of release, and she whips her head back to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks in a sweet voice while she catches her breath.
“You’re making me go crazy. I don’t want this to end.” I pepper her shoulders with kisses.
She sits up and turns around, cupping my face, kissing me passionately and roughly at the same time. I bite her lip, and our tongues sweep over each other. I feel her hands on my chest and the pressure she gives to push me back.
I lay down, and she straddles me. I hold on to her hips while she rocks herself on my dick while it lays flat on my stomach. Slowly and sensually.