Chapter 27 Holly
TWENTY-SEVEN
HOLLY
Curled up on the sofa in my apartment with Bear’s warm body beneath me might just be my new favourite way to spend a Saturday. The TV is playing some true crime show that neither of us are really watching, creating background noise for us as we simply enjoy each other’s company.
Two weeks have passed since that night in the bakery when we agreed I would date the two of them together.
After several long conversations about how this was going to work, it was decided that there would be no sex with either Bear or Clay until I was ready.
Sex makes things more complicated, as we learnt from my tryst with Clay.
Whether we care to admit it or not, jealousy is still something that we have to tackle within the relationship.
The last thing I want is to rush into fucking them, cause a rift with one of them, and then everything falls apart because I couldn’t keep my legs crossed.
It’s been tough, but both guys are on their best behaviour.
Honestly, they’ve been treating me like a queen.
Logistically, dating two guys isn’t always easy.
I try to spend an equal amount of time with both of them, individually and as the three of us, but that isn’t always possible.
Clay has been needed at the nightclub most of this week, sorting a staffing issue that has been causing him problems. This has meant I’ve not been able to see him as much as I would like to, but we’ve been able to speak on the phone and text each other regularly.
However, without his friend monopolising half of my time, Bear has been taking full advantage.
Ashley thinks I’ve hit the jackpot of relationships and keeps telling me I need to get Elliot on board and hit the trifecta. She’s still convinced that he has feelings for me, but if anything, his anger towards me has only gotten worse since Clay and Bear officially became my boyfriends.
Boyfriends. Now there’s something I never thought I would say.
It’s funny, I feel like I can see into their souls, and instinctively know that they are good for me.
However, I don’t actually know that much about them.
Which I guess is all part of dating the other person. We just seemed to skip that part.
Pondering over it, I twist and look up at Bear. “What’s your real name anyway?” It’s been something that I’ve been wondering for the past few weeks, but I’ve never had the opportunity to ask. “Bear can’t be your real name.”
It’s an odd name and it caught my interest at first, but it suits him so I’ve never really questioned it. I can’t imagine him with any other name. Now we’re getting to know each, it feels like the right time to ask.
He chuckles, his hand drawing lazy patterns against the skin of my arm.
“It’s Tobias. My mum always called me Teddy, which is cute when you’re five, but not so much when you’re a teenager.
” His eyes are distant, lost in memory. I don’t press him for more details, waiting for him to work through the ghosts of his past. Bear takes a deep breath, his eyes focusing on me as he returns to the present.
His lips twitch into a smile, but I can see a hint of sadness there. “That’s when I became Bear.”
He still cradles me against him, but the atmosphere has changed.
It’s heavier, weighted by his past. I have never heard him speak about his life before he moved here, and although this feels like something that has haunted him, it also feels like an invitation to know him more.
Curiosity has always been one of my traits, and Bear has come to know this.
He wouldn’t have hinted at his history if he didn’t want to talk about it.
The plaid shirt he wears is open at the collar and at the top two buttons, allowing me to trace the neckline against his skin with my fingers. “You don’t talk much about your parents.” I keep my voice soft, phrasing it is as comment but with room for him to expand on if he wants to.
“There’s not much to tell.” Releasing a long sigh, he lets his head drop back to the cushions, staring at the ceiling as he speaks.
“I never knew my dad, but from what I was told there wasn’t much to know.
My mum loved me, but she always had problems with addiction.
Eventually I was put into foster care, and that’s where I met Elliot and Clay. ”
My heart aches for the young version of Bear.
I can only imagine how isolating and lonely it was for a child to grow up in a house filled with addiction.
Not to mention the love for his mother who was unable to care for him.
How that must have felt, knowing that his mum needed drugs more than she loved him.
It does help explain the strength of the bond between the three of them, though.
When their own families were unable to be there for them, Bear, Clay, and Elliot created their own family.
What do you say to something like that? Nothing I say will change what happened, but he deserves his struggle to be acknowledged by someone.
“That sounds really difficult.”
He shrugs, giving me a sad little smile. “Everyone has a past. If it hadn’t happened this way, I might never have met the guys.”
I can’t imagine a life without the three of them together.
it doesn’t feel right to even imagine it.
Where would they be now? Without Bear’s steady leadership, who would have held them together?
Without Elliot’s sharp, calculating mind, how would they have built a thriving business together?
And what about Clay? His loyalty and intensity give the others reason to keep going.
“Can I ask about your parents?” His quiet question brings me back to the moment.
“I know that you and your sister manage the bakery, but I never hear anything about them.” He speaks gently, and I know if I decide not to speak he will respect that.
He wants to know if they are still alive but doesn’t know how to phrase the question, and I don’t blame him.
It’s not really something he would ask in polite conversation.
“My parents died in a car accident.” I wave him off before he can say anything or offer apologies.
It’s not that I don’t care anymore, but a long time has passed and the grief that I once felt has numbed.
“It was years ago now, and I still miss them, but I know that their true desire was for me to keep the bakery going. For it to stay within our family.” The familiar frustration starts to rise inside me as I think of my sister.
“They were organised. They had already left the bakery to me and Ivy, so it was a simple process of us taking over.”
He watches me intently, reaching out to brush a stray couple of my hairs back behind my ear. “I don’t see your sister around much.”
Again, the question is phrased as a statement, only this time it’s aimed at me.
Grumbling under my breath, I try to keep my annoyance to myself.
“Ivy has never been interested in the baking side of the business, only the finances. She focused on that, while I run the practical side of the bakery.” I’m not sure I manage to hide my frustration towards my sister, but he doesn’t mention it or try to ask questions.
To be honest, I’m not sure I would fully be able to give him a coherent answer now.
I resent the fact that Ivy doesn’t share my passion for keeping the bakery open.
It was our parents’ life work – how dare she throw away so easily?
I close my eyes, squeezing them tight and trying to release some of my tension. Ivy has taken up enough of my evenings, filling them with worry, so I’m not going to allow this quiet moment with Bear to be tainted by her.
I close my eyes, determined to put it behind me and focus on what is in front of me.
“Anyway, as you know, I am now taking over the bakery myself.” Ivy might be abandoning a legacy, but I can’t deny the thrill that courses through me at these words.
The bakery will be mine, and I will finally have full say as to what happens within it.
Bear’s expression shifts to one of pride, his smile soft but true. “You are incredible.”
“You’re only saying that because you want to get in my pants,” I tease, flashing him a wink and chuckling slightly at my own joke. After all, he runs a business, and Clay bought the nightclub years ago. Thousands of people run businesses; there is nothing special about what I’m doing.
“Seriously though, Holly.” He brushes my cheek with his fingers, pulling my attention back to him. “You are living your parents’ dream while making it your own, and you’re doing it all by yourself.”
I don’t know what to say in return. His opinion of me has always been higher than my own view on myself.
All I do is try my best, even when it doesn’t feel like enough.
There was no way I could ever let the bakery be sold into different hands, so for me, there was never any doubt that I would take over.
That doesn’t feel all that special to me.
As though knowing exactly what I’m feeling, he shifts below me so I’m now lying on top of him.
My instinct is to put my hands out to brace myself, not wanting to allow my full weight to press on him.
He grumbles low in his chest, the vibration passing straight through me and making my thighs clench.
“Don’t you dare,” he warns in a low voice.
A small smile on his lips and raised brow hint at him joking, but the steel in his eyes tells me otherwise.
“I love you, every single part of you. Don’t you dare try to hide from me.
You are perfect, and I can handle all of you.
” His hands rest on my ass, punctuating his words.
“Not everybody feels the same way you do.” It’s a statement, something that I know to be true, yet my voice betrays me, wobbling and making me sound weak.