Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
“I heard you were looking for me.”
What an incredible understatement of the century.
“You could say that,” Tate replied, sliding onto a barstool next to his uncle. “I wasn’t sure if you were alive or dead.”
“I probably could have called more.”
“More? How about at all? Shit, where in the hell have you been? Seriously, we weren’t sure if you were even looking at the green side of the grass anymore. You left after Mom disappeared and fell off the planet.”
“I sent a text from Copenhagen.”
“Nine and a half years ago,” Tate reminded him. “Did you break your phone and not have AppleCare?”
“I don’t suppose you’d believe I’ve been busy and lost track of time?”
“If that’s your story, and you’re sticking to it, I guess I don’t have any other options. But I’d still think it was shitty. Mark, where in the hell have you been? A Turkish prison?”
“I heard Joel and Kim got married,” Mark said instead of answering the question. “Can I have a refill on this soda?”
His anger simmering, Tate levered up from his barstool and refilled the glass, pouring himself one while he was at it.
“You’re deflecting,” he said. “How did you know about Dad and Kim?”
This time, Mark finally smiled, chuckling a bit to himself.
“Let’s just say that I’ve kept tabs on all of you.
From a safe distance, of course. But I wanted to make sure that you all had everything you needed and were happy.
From what I’ve seen, all of you are doing well, although I was sad to hear about Frankie’s retirement from tennis. Is she taking it hard?”
Mark had been watching them from afar? And what did a safe distance mean?
Joel Winslow. It had to be. In Tate’s experience, his dad was always in the mix fucking up anything good.
“She’s actually doing better than I thought she would. Now talk to me about keeping a safe distance. Are we talking about Dad? We are, aren’t we? What did he threaten you with?”
Mark didn’t answer for a long minute, his gaze intent on his glass.
“Your dad never threatened me. Having said that, he certainly doesn’t like me or anyone on Lily’s side of the family.
If we all did fall off the edges of the planet, he would rejoice.
Or be as happy as he allows himself to be on any given day.
Damn, I’ve never seen a man so determined to be miserable as your father.
Money didn’t make him happy. Power or love?
Nope, that wouldn’t do it. I don’t remember ever seeing him smile.
How sad is that? I feel sorry for him, honestly. What a way to live your life.”
Tate had few occasions to remember where his dad had smiled, but he didn’t think they were from genuine happiness. Mark had made a valid point this morning. Joel Winslow wasn’t a happy man.
And that was sad, indeed, but not something Tate could do anything about. His father seemed determined to live life avoiding anything that might make him feel any strong emotion.
Except maybe anger or disgust. Joel didn’t seem to mind those.
“Mark, you’re obviously trying not to talk about where you’ve been.”
“I have no problem telling you where I’ve been,” Mark replied. “Mostly, I’ve been in the UK, but I’ve also spent some time in the Caribbean to get a break from the cold and rain.”
“Okay, that’s one question down, let’s go for a second. Why haven’t you contacted any of us? You seemed to just disappear into thin air.”
“I know, and I should have done better. I kept telling myself that tomorrow I would call, but when tomorrow came…”
“You didn’t,” Tate finished. “Why? Why did you say you were keeping a safe distance if Dad didn’t threaten you?”
“The safe distance was from you. You and your siblings.”
Us? That doesn’t make any sense.
“Are we dangerous in some way?”
Mark drained his glass and placed it back on the bar.
“Yes, but not in the way you think. You’re emotionally dangerous, and I wasn’t ready to deal with your grief.
I was far too deep into my own, especially those first few years.
I could barely get out of bed in the morning, and I was drinking way too much.
I certainly couldn’t help you kids deal with it.
I know it sounds selfish and awful, and it is.
I’m a self-centered asshole who only thinks about himself.
Unfortunately, Lily had more than one of those in her life.
I wanted to be there for you and your brothers and sisters, but I didn’t know how.
Honestly, I’m still not sure what to do. ”
Tate glanced at the now-empty glass.
“Are you sober now?”
“Two years and three months. And yes, I should have called you once I was on the wagon. But at that point, I figured it was too late. I assumed you were angry with me, and I didn’t blame you. I stayed out of your life because I thought it was what you wanted.”
“What got you sober? What changed?”
“I met someone,” Mark revealed. “He gave me an ultimatum. It was the booze or him. I chose him.”
“I thought Dad threatened you,” Tate said. “I thought that’s why you stayed away. That’s what we all thought.”
“Your father doesn’t have that kind of power.
I know he’s a big deal here in town, but he’s just another rich and greedy guy in the rest of the world.
We have plenty of assholes like that. He’s not special.
No, it was my own demons that kept me away, and I’m sorry about that.
Lily would not be proud of me, that’s for sure. ”
“But you’re here now.”
“I am. I got wind that you had a private investigator sniffing around me. I figured there had to be a reason.”
“I guess he wasn’t being unobtrusive.”
“He did a good job, but let’s face it, I know when someone is watching me. I made a few inquiries, and it came up that it was you.”
Mark made it sound like one of Cooper’s mystery novels.
“Who did you think it was?” Tate joked. “Do you have people following you all the time?”
“My partner was kind of famous at one point. He’s retired now.”
“That sounds deliberately vague, but I’m going to let you have this one. Did he come with you? Do we get to meet him?”
“No, he’s back home taking care of the dogs. Maybe next time. Or you can visit us? We’d love to have you. Now, why don’t you tell me why you were looking for me? There has to be a reason after all of these years.”
“I couldn’t just want to see you?”
“You could, but that’s something you could have done before. Why now?”
Going behind the bar, Tate refilled his uncle’s glass again and his own before explaining what was going on, about the private investigators they’d hired, and finally about the storage unit that had been discovered.
“Lily had a storage unit? Interesting. Was she hiding things from Joel? I can’t say that I blame her. He was insufferable then, and I doubt he’s any better now.”
“He’s just as bad or worse,” Tate agreed.
“I never understood what Lily saw in him,” Mark replied, shaking his head. “I think she thought if she loved him enough, he’d change. He’d be more open and loving. He wouldn’t care so much about power and money. Of course, none of those things changed, but your mother was a true optimist.”
“Did she ever talk to you about leaving him? Getting a divorce?”
“Yes,” Mark admitted, his expression sad.
Tate was sure he could see tears glittering in the man’s eyes.
“She did talk about it, but she didn’t want to do that to you kids.
She knew Joel would try to fight her for custody even though he didn’t truly want the responsibility of raising kids. He’d drag it all out and make it ugly.”
“What about when we were older?”
Mark’s answer tracked with what Tate had always assumed. His mother hadn’t wanted to break up the family when the children were young, but he’d been puzzled as to why she’d stayed after they’d all grown up. When his mom had disappeared, Piper had been eighteen.
“By then, Lily had made her peace with her marriage. She had her hobbies, friends, and interests. Joel didn’t get in the way of that, and they lived fairly separate lives.
She did tell me once that she was sure he had other women on the side, but she didn’t care.
She wished them good luck because he’d never leave her for them.
He wouldn’t want a divorce to sully the Winslow name. ”
“That sounds like Dad. He’s still complaining about Cooper’s divorce.”
“I’m surprised your brother stands for that.”
“He’s not around to hear it. He tries never to be in the same room as Dad. It’s the rest of us that have to hear about it.”
“I’m hoping I can see your brothers and sisters while I’m on this side of the world,” Mark said. “Are they mad at me, too?”
“None of us were angry, just hurt. If you explain it, I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Tate pointed to the hallway off to the side that led to his office. “Can you give me a minute? I need to get something that I want to show you. You were right. There was a specific reason we wanted to find you.”
Mark nodded, and Tate hurried to where he’d stowed the photos in his desk drawer. Within a few minutes, he was back and offering them to his uncle for perusal.
“We don’t know any of these people, but these pictures were important enough for Mom to keep them in storage. Away from Dad, which we assume was deliberate. It might also help if you could go with me to Zack’s place and see the other items she had there. Maybe something will jog a memory for you.”
As he sifted through the stack of photos, the corners of Mark’s mouth turned up in a smile. Clearly, they brought back good memories.
“Damn, I’d forgotten about that trip to Bermuda.
Honestly, I’d forgotten about most of this.
After your mother disappeared… Well, it seemed easier to block it all out, even the good times.
I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake.
I should have held onto the happiness. Your mother believed in being happy, seeking joy in life. ”
Tate pointed out the young man from the photos who always seemed to be sitting next to their mother.