Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
Cat and Tate drove back to his house after he closed the tavern. She hadn’t spoken much during the evening. She hadn’t known what to say. All she could see was a family still in a great deal of pain and looking for ways to make it stop hurting.
Yes, they deserved to have answers, but it wasn’t going to make them feel all better and happy. Losing their mom was still going to be painful. It might be less so, but it wasn’t going to magically fix the hole in their hearts that Lily Winslow’s disappearance and apparent death had created.
She’d wanted to talk to Tate about the job offer she’d received, but when she compared it to what he was going through, it seemed too small and petty. He was dealing with death. This was a skin care ad. In the big scheme of things, what did it matter?
“You’re quiet tonight,” he remarked as they crawled into bed. Cat had turned on a cooking program, hoping they could both unwind with a show that wouldn’t be dramatic or emotional. It was only cookies and cakes. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Shit, she sounded defensive, and that’s the last thing she wanted. Tate, however, didn’t appear fazed by her reaction.
“Because you’ve barely said two words since you arrived at the bar,” he remarked. “I love you, Cat, but you’re a terrible liar. What’s going on? You can tell me anything.”
“I love you, too. But you have a whole lot going on right now. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“Sweetheart, shit will still be going on tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. I can’t put off life because I’m having a tough day. So, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I think you’re going to be upset,” she confessed, turning toward him in bed. “That’s another reason I’ve hesitated to tell you. It’s been going well, and I didn’t want to change that.”
Tate took a moment, seeming to ponder her words before replying.
“How about if I promise not to get upset?”
“You can’t make a promise like that.”
She wasn’t naive. It sounded like some promise they’d make to each other when they were in high school.
When the stakes were low. She wanted this second chance with Tate more than anything.
“I can make a promise that I won’t fly off the handle,” he replied. “I can promise that I’ll think through my response and control my emotions. How about that?”
It was far more than she could have hoped for.
“I received a call from my former modeling agent in New York. There’s a cosmetics brand that wants me to be the face for a mature skin care line.”
There. She’d said it. Funny, how it didn’t sound so cool or glamorous. It sounded like more modeling work. That was it. Not bad and not good.
She watched closely, trying to see any emotion that might flicker across his too handsome face, but he would have made a damn good poker player.
“I hope you know that I would never stop you from doing something that you wanted to do. I won’t try and talk you out of it, and I’ll be your biggest cheerleader. I only want the best for you, Cat.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she had to blink several times to keep them from sliding down her cheeks.
God, she loved this man. Here she was, talking about flitting back to the big city to take some modeling job, and he was determined to stand beside her.
After she’d left the first time. He didn’t have any reason to trust she’d do better now, but he was extending that trust.
I’m not sure I deserve it.
Heart hammering in her chest, she reached out to cup his chin, stubbly against her palm.
“I’m not even sure I want to do this. I’m not sure I want any of it.
But I needed to tell you about it, because it felt wrong not to be honest. I don’t want this to come between us.
Nothing means more to me than what you and I are doing here.
Giving this relationship between us another try is important to me.
I don’t want to throw it away like I did last time. ”
“I don’t want to be the reason you don’t do something that would make you happy. That’s not the person I want to be.”
“I don’t even know why I’m entertaining the idea,” she replied. “I want a home. I want a family. I want to adopt a dog, Tate. I want this second chance with you. Is this some sort of fear of missing out? Is that why I’m thinking about it?”
“You can have both. You don’t have to choose.”
“I don’t even know if I want both. I just want to have purpose and direction in my life. My mom said I need to think about what I’ll be proud of.”
“That’s good advice,” Tate said. “Did she say anything else?”
“Of course, she did. It’s my mom. She said a lot of things, but it all came down to finally growing up and figuring out what I want to do with my life.”
“Those are big questions. Do you have the answers?”
“No,” she confessed. “I do not. I only know one thing right now.”
“And what is that?” Tate asked, his fingers gently stroking the sensitive skin on her arm. Just a light touch, back and forth.
“Will you hold me? I need your arms around me.”
“Sweetheart, you never have to ask. I’m always willing to do that.”
It was heaven, lying here in Tate’s strong, warm arms. There had been other men in her life when they were apart, but none had given her this overwhelming sense of calm and security.
Somehow, he made her feel as though everything would be fine.
She was loved, cherished, and protected.
All the bad things in the world had to stay outside when they were together like this.
The steady thump of his heart under her ear and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest wove a web of contentment around the two of them. She could feel herself physically relax, her muscles loosening and her own breathing syncing with his.
Her fingernail drew random designs on the back of his hand, while she inhaled his heady scent that belonged to him and him alone. She’d never met a man who smelled as delicious.
“How about a glass of wine?” he offered. “It might help you decompress a bit.”
She didn’t want a glass of wine, or a snack, or anything else but him.
Reaching up to cup his jaw, she pressed her lips to his, the urgency quickly building between them. She couldn’t begin to express how she felt about him and how grateful she was for his patience and understanding, but she absolutely, without a doubt, knew how to show him.
The fact that she’d damn well enjoy it, too, made it all the better.
Her hands slipped under his shirt, pushing it upwards until it was over his head.
He picked up on her idea immediately, smart man, and quickly shed the rest of his clothes while she did the same.
She didn’t have time for all the niceties tonight.
She wanted to feel as consumed by lust as she did.
Blood pumped through her veins as she ran her hands down his muscular torso, letting her gaze take in every little detail.
Tate Winslow was sexy as hell.
Golden skin. Ridged abs. A smattering of hair on his chest, and then that treasure trail on his belly.
Sexier than the male models she’d worked with.
Sexier than the world-famous actors she’d met.
Yes, he had a body and face to die for, but he had that something extra, too.
Something that would still be there when they were old and gray.
Kindness. Compassion. Humor.
Damn, he could make her laugh. She was a sucker for a man who made her giggle. He didn’t take himself too seriously, and he wasn’t afraid to look silly.
Swinging her leg over his waist, she straddled him, never taking her hands off of his body. She wanted to explore every inch, but dammit, they didn’t have the time. Not this time, anyway.
“Easy, Kitty Cat. I’m all yours. We don’t have to rush. We have nowhere to be.”
“Later we can slow down,” Cat said with a shake of her head. “I need you now. Want you now.”
His rough palms glided down her spine and then slid around to cup her breasts, his thumbs strumming her already diamond-hard nipples. She threw back her head and arched her back to push more fully into those skillful hands, pleading wordlessly to continue.
He didn’t disappoint, replacing his fingers with his mouth and tongue, torturing and teasing her until she wanted to scream with pleasure. Her fingers had buried through his thick, springy hair, holding him in place in the hope he never stopped what he was doing.
Reaching between them, she wrapped her hand around his cock, glorying in the groan she elicited with her touch. They were both hot, sweaty, panting, and far past ready. She lowered herself down on him, her walls stretching to accommodate him, but any discomfort was mixed with pure pleasure.
“Fuck me,” she whispered in his ear before nipping at the earlobe. “Hard and fast.”
She didn’t want sweet and romantic tonight with rose petals and champagne. She wanted it hard, fast, and dirty enough to leave marks behind they’d both see tomorrow.
“My Kitty Cat has a dirty mouth,” Tate replied, his voice vibrating against her skin as he rolled her onto her back in one fluid motion.
The cotton sheets cooled her heated skin while his weight pressed her deliciously into the mattress, leaving them both breathless and laughing at the unexpected move. “And whatever she wants, she gets.”
No build-up. No taking it easy or finding a rhythm. Screw all of that.
Tate spread her thighs wide, throwing them over his bent arms and pushing them back.
The position left her completely exposed, utterly vulnerable, and that's exactly what she desperately craved. She wanted to be taken, consumed by the fire that burned even hotter than in the past. When they were done, she didn’t want any doubt as to whether they belonged to one another.
It was just as she’d requested. Hard. Fast. Scorching hot. And yes, dirty. She’d whispered filthy suggestions into his ear while he pistoned into her, urging him on until they both gave over to their orgasm.
They clung to one another as it took them over and away, spinning through the star-spangled sky until they inevitably had to come back down to earth and reality.
It was over as quickly as it had started, both of them gulping in air as they fell back onto the mattress. They snuggled together as her heart rate returned to normal, her eyelids getting heavy. The sweat on her body chilled, and Tate reached down and pulled the sheets over them.
“Woman, you almost killed me. You should wear a warning label.”
Giggling, she cuddled even closer, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I can never do that again, if you want.”
“Don’t you dare stop.”
She’d never stop loving him.