Chapter 15
HOLLISTER
We never returned to normal after I mentioned Dominic, the house, and his woman.
All surprises to her. It only made things worse.
I didn’t know what else to do or say. She did enjoy the dinner I prepared.
There wasn’t much of a menu, but I told the chef to prepare a variety of dishes when he asked me about food allergies and dietary restrictions.
We didn’t have sex again, but we ended up cuddling in my bed before falling asleep. I woke up an hour later, stared at her, then at the ceiling, and finally sent a message to our house manager, requesting that the staff be scarce today since we were at home and not at my studio.
Finally, needing to pee, I slip out from under her, she mutters something, but rolls to her side and falls back asleep.
After going to the bathroom, I snag my phone and walk down the hall to the theater room and collapse in a chair.
Usually, I’d want to call Dom, but since this is about his mom, I can’t.
Diego’s out too since he’s more aligned with Dom than me. That leaves me with the twins.
Sighing, I dial the number and put it on speaker.
“Fuck Holli Balls, why you calling so damn early?”
I look at the clock and see it’s just after seven. Late if they’ve been up all night partying. Early, if they crashed in the couple of hours.
“Hey Em.”
“Where the fuck were you last night? WHERE? HOLLI BALLS!”
I flinch as the volume spikes. My finger hovers over the volume-down button, but I don’t press it. I’m too curious about what kind of craziness they got into.
“MASSIMO! IT’S HOLLI BALLS!”
This time, I turn the volume down.
“Hey, I got to tell you something. But shhhhhh, don’t tell Massi,” he slurs, covering the receiver to somehow become even louder.
“You remember when we drank the mezcal from that weird bottle that smelled like old salsa? The night I almost died? Wait . . . wait . . . did I die? Holli, did I die and you’re calling me in Heaven. Holy shit, is Jesus here?”
Jesus?
How shitfaced did he get last night?
“You’re not dead, Em.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I doubt you’re even going to Heaven to see Jesus when you do. You’re wasted off your ass.”
“I knew it,” he slurs again, as if it’s a big conspiracy against him. “Massimo said that mezcal was just artisanal, but I saw the worm move, bro. It had, like, a vendetta against me. I showed it. I ate the worm. It’s in me. Do you see it swimming around? It’s right there or here. Do you see it?”
I sigh, not having the patience for him when I need to talk to his brother before Babs wakes up.
“Is your brother there?”
“MASSSSSIMO! Holli’s on the phone! He can’t see the worm. But it’s moving inside my tummy, I can feel it. It’s ‘cuz I’m dead. I’m dead, brother, me and Jesus. Wait, why are you in Heaven with us? Are you dead too? Did we both die?”
Holy Mother, he’s super shitfaced.
“Give me the damn phone!”
There’s a loud grunt. Scuffling and something, or someone, thumps into a wall. Followed by muffled cursing.
“Hey,” Massimo breathes, slightly winded. “Sorry. He found an open bar tab and then a bachelorette party. It’s been a wild fucking night.”
I don’t doubt it from the sound of things. The guy has his hands full.
“Sounds like it.”
I drag a hand through my hair, relieved to hear Massimo’s voice and mildly concerned that Em might have alcohol poisoning. Em screams something in the background about digging the worm out.
“Emilio! Chill the fuck out!”
I wait while he yells at his brother, then returns to the phone.
“Okay, sorry. You good, man? You never call this early.”
I hesitate, suddenly aware of how quiet the theater room is compared to the madness on the other end.
Feeling a bit guilty for bailing on them this weekend.
Massi could have used my help with him, but I wanted this weekend for us.
To see if there was something. The twins are down every weekend anyway.
“I need to run something by you.”
“Okay.”
I pause, still unsure how much to admit.
“Have you ever been with someone who totally disarms you?”
Massimo snorts.
“Bro. I’ve been with people who disrobe me, disown me, and one girl tried to disinfect me. What kind of disarming we talking about?”
I laugh for effect, but it fades quickly. I pick at the trim of the leather chair. My ankles cross in front of me as my sleep pants stick to my legs. Normally, I sleep naked, but last night felt so off that I put them on. No shirt though. Let Babs drool over my tats like she did a bit last night.
Girls love them.
Women are a bit different.
Love or hate.
No in between.
“Like . . . it’s not going how I thought. I usually know the rhythm of things. The pattern. This weekend, I had a plan in mind, but now I’m unsure of what to do. I’m trying not to screw it up, but I might already have.”
Massimo goes quiet for a second, which is rare when it’s just the two of us. Then he huffs into the phone.
“Well looky here. Holli found a girl who disarms him. Never thought I’d see the day.”
He’s not wrong. Even if I deserve the ribbing, I’m not up for it.
“I knew I shouldn’t have called you.”
I’m about to hang up, wondering if I should call Diego next.
“Hold up. You know I can’t not give you a bit of shit when you call asking like that. Don’t be such a pussy over pussy.”
I scrub my hand down my face, adjust my semi-hard cock when thinking of her hand in my hair, shoving my face into her pussy.
“Shut the fuck up. She’s not like that. Not this one.”
He chuckles. I hate it. I need serious advice, and he’s just bullshiting. Slightly better than Em at this point.
“Okay, okay, so touchy about her.”
“Yeah, so are you going to help me out or not?”
The little amount of patience I had when starting this call is almost gone.
“Chill, bruh. You’re acting all bitchy because you like this mystery woman. That’s what this is.”
“I didn’t say that.”
I’m immediately defensive. Sure, I like her. I know that, but I don’t like how obvious it is to him. I know Massi’s had girlfriends in the past, or should I say, they did. Not sure how a girl could ever tolerate Em long after her orgasm, but who knows. I don’t care about that stuff.
“You didn’t have to. You’re calling me at seven a.m. while Em is exorcising the mezcal worm.”
There’s a muffled yell in the background that sounds suspiciously like “GET THE TWEEZERS!”
Massimo ignores it.
“So, what happened? She pulls back? You freak her out? You start with that kinky shit you’re into, and she runs out the door.”
“It was one time I let a girl peg me. ONE TIME.”
He chuckles, razzing me for no reason.
“Yeah, but you drizzled all over her sheets like a little bitch.”
How could I not?
The girl hammered some spot back there, and it shot out of my cock. Taking both of us by surprise. I loved it at the time, but the thought of it now gives me the ick. The fuck that I had a strap-on up my ass while on all fours fucks up my head to this day.
“Yeah, we’ll this one made me come in my pants with only a hand job.”
“Damn off a handy? What are you twelve?”
He laughs even louder.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You do like her.”
Probably shouldn’t have told him that one. It’s a violation to Babs and an embarrassment to me. I know he’ll be cool and not tell his mouthy brother, but I need to zip my lips about her. She’s not one of my conquests I brag about to the guys. She’s so far beyond that and above me.
“I think I freaked myself out. I’m trying to keep it light. Be chill. But it stopped being casual the second she looked at me like she saw something. And now I’m second-guessing every move I make. Like if I do too much, she’ll run. But if I don’t do enough, she’ll think I don’t give a damn.”
Massimo exhales.
“Yeah. That sucks, bro.”
“Thanks. That’s really helpful.”
“I mean, it sucks because it sounds real. Real feelings. That middle zone where you’re not just chasing a hookup or a booty call. You’re actually showing up for someone, and you don’t know if they want you back.”
Exactly. She’s so guarded. Plays everything close to the chest, so I’m always pursuing her. Even after I think I have a shot with her. After being inside our body, I’m still unsure. It’s a new feeling I don’t like.
“That ever happen to you?”
“Yeah.” His voice ripples through with an edge. “Once. I played it cool. Didn’t say how I felt. Watched her walk away thinking I didn’t care.”
“What happened?”
“Last I heard, she quit school to marry a dentist. Lives in Seattle.”
“That’s rough.”
The line goes silent, lost in the past. Then a thought. Rude to ask, but I do anyway.
“But I thought you and . . . I thought you shared women.”
I half don’t expect him to answer. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Everyone knows about their conquests. But liking or maybe even loving someone, like in his case, that’s off limits.
“She came before all that. Probably why Em and I, ya know.”
“Oh.”
The connection between losing her and sharing women is lost in my mind. I can’t get that math to math.
“We don’t talk about her.”
“Ouch.”
Massimo chuckles, hollow and painful. Still hurting somewhere deep within. Love brushed against his soul and scarred it forever.
“You want to know what I learned?”
His tone turns serious again.
“Yeah, the whole reason I’m calling.”
“If it’s real, say something. Don’t be a dumbass like me. Say what you feel. Maybe she bails. Or maybe she stays. Either way, you did your part.”
I nod slowly, staring at the blank theater screen.
“Thanks, Massi.”
“Worst case, you join us. Never given a girl a three dick dinner, but it’d be fun trying.”
As much porn as I’ve watched, this included, it’s never appealed to me. Nor am I eager to cross swords with my buddies.
“I’ll pass.”
“Offer’s always open. I got to jet, Em’s trying to perform open-worm surgery on himself with a cocktail fork.”
“MAS, I’M BLEEDING! THE WORM . . . IT’S EATING MY INSIDES!”
He clicks off.
I sit in the dark, except for the blue glow from my phone, shaking my head at Em’s idiocy. Massimo could be right. I already cleared the air with her once yesterday. I’m not sure I want to do it again. Nah, today is going to be fun.
With a clearer head and plans to confess my budding feelings deferred, I walk out of the theater and down the hall to my room. My hand hits the handle, opening the door, when a crack of thunder claps overhead.
My gaze falls to Babs. Her hair is falling around her shoulders. Her soft skin itching for my kisses and her toned body wrapped in my bedsheets. She sits up, gazing toward the windows where I left the drapes open as I stared at the moon and thought.
“It’s raining.”
Her voice is light, surprised, and vulnerable. The years of wearing a tight mask are softened by this place. A world away from her worries and only with me. It stirs something in my chest. Doing that rearranging thing again.
“Sounds like it.”
Her fingers rise to her throat, searching for her pearls and coming up empty. Only my necklace. My worn leather is now twisting between her thumb and index finger. I close the door behind me, hit the lock, and walk to the window to have a look.
“What are we going to do?”
Her deep brown eyes turn to me, uncertainty in them. I can think of a hundred things I want to do to her. All involved the bed she’s planted in, but we’re still too far away. A gap formed last night that no amount of wine and cheese could bridge.
“What do you feel like doing?”
Testing to see if she’ll initiate. Second pass. Silence grows. Until unspoken words die off. I move away from the window and sit on the bed beside her. She immediately moves over, making too much room for me to be close.
Her guard is up. Closed off again. I know one thing that brings it down.
“Get dressed. The more casual the better.”
Unwilling to answer any question. Wait for any protests. I’m off the bed and crossing the room to my closet. She’s at her best when caught off guard. When she doesn’t know what to expect and what comes next. That’s my strategy with her for the rest of the day.
When I hear shuffling coming from the bedroom, I smile. Tugging on a shirt and fixing my hair in the mirror to give her a bit more time. Just as I’m slipping on my shoes, she appears in the doorway, wearing a sundress and matching high-heeled sandals.
“This is as casual as I packed.”
Her hand waves over her outfit. My necklace is still in place, making me proud again.
“Perfect. Let’s go.”