Chapter 38
D aisy needn’t have worried about anything.
A glass of wine may have helped to ease her nerves.
Margot and Evie had been as good as gold, ditto Miles.
The roast had been long and slow without any disasters.
Once the twins had got down from the table, Miles and Daisy had enjoyed cheese and wine and a lot of chatting.
After they’d cleared up, the twins had insisted on showing Miles around the building properly, giving him a full tour that included a secret compartment behind one of the shelves in their room where they kept all sorts and the window seat where they liked to read on rainy days.
Miles was appropriately impressed in all the right places and Daisy found herself seeing the twins and the bookshop through his eyes.
As she followed them around, it all felt a bit chaotic, with books piled everywhere and the twins' artwork stuck to various surfaces, but it was homely, lived-in, full of character and just as she liked it.
The whole place smelled of books and coffee and the lingering traces of their roast dinner.
After the twins had run upstairs to fetch something they wanted to show Miles, he smiled. 'This is all really nice. The building, the dinner and well, everything.'
'It feels like home now. I’ve settled down here well.
' As the words came out of Daisy’s mouth, she realised as she said it that it was true.
The bookshop and living accommodation combination was home in a way that nowhere else had ever been since she’d had the twins.
Mostly because she finally felt as if something was hers.
Even with the GayesBooks threat, she could see herself living in the building for the foreseeable.
The relief alone and living without the stress of possibly having to move had brought amazing improvement to her life.
'I can see why you love it here.' Miles looked around at the shelves of books, the comfortable chairs, the general sense of organised chaos that pervaded just about every inch of space.
'It took a while to get it right.' Daisy laughed as she said it. That was an understatement if ever she’d heard one. It had taken months of hard work, accepting that she needed help, a lot of planning and more money than she had really had to spare, but it had been worth it.
The twins thundered back down the stairs and Daisy's heart sank a little as she realised what they were about to do, but it was too late to stop them. They had Daisy’s iPad and were tapping on folders.
'This is us when we were babies,' Evie said, holding up the screen showing two tiny pink faces peering out from matching blankets.
'This is us at the beach last summer,' Margot added, showing Miles a picture of all three of them building sandcastles.
'This is our dad. He died when we were little,' Margot said matter-of-factly. 'We don't really remember him, but Mummy tells us about him. He had a jumping accident.'
'I'm sorry.' Miles made a sorry face.
Evie also pulled a face. ‘Mummy said she was sad, but she's better now.'
'I'm glad she's better now.' Miles smiled.
The twins moved on to other photographs, other stories, other moments they wanted to share and Daisy felt as if everything was going to be fine.
Miles seemed to be rolling with it. He hadn't been awkward or uncomfortable or tried to change the subject about anything.
He had acknowledged the twins' dad and moved on, which was exactly the right thing to do, but which so many people got wrong.
As the twins completely lost interest in Miles and the late afternoon wore on to evening, Daisy found her anxiety melting away.
The twins were wrapped up in play and the only problem had been when Margot had spilt juice on her dress and burst into tears as if it was the end of the world.
Miles helped Daisy clean up the mess without making a fuss about it.
By the time bath time came around, Daisy realised she’d stopped watching Miles for signs that he was finding the twins difficult or too much.
Instead, she found herself just enjoying the time, herself, the easy conversation and the comfortable atmosphere.
'We should probably think about getting ready for bed soon.' Daisy said to the twins, who immediately began protesting as if bedtime was a personal insult.
'Can Miles read us a story?' Evie asked.
There was no way Daisy was comfortable enough to let Miles in on reading a story. She shook her head. 'I think Miles has probably had enough of us for one day.'
'I don't mind.'
Daisy looked at him and tried to work out if he was just being polite or if he actually meant it.
His expression was open and genuine, but really, she didn’t know what he was thinking.
She made the decision for him. She wanted bedtime to go quickly and smoothly, which meant doing it on her own.
‘I tell you what. We’ll go up for a quick shower instead of a bath and get your pyjamas on.
I’ll read you a story and then we’ll come down to say goodnight. ’
Miles took the hint. ‘I’ll wash those pans that couldn’t go in the dishwasher.’
Upstairs, there was the usual negotiation about who got which towel and whether they really had to wash their hair. Daisy zoomed through it with military precision. She’d developed her own systems for managing the twins, and while they weren't always pretty, they generally worked.
'Story time.' Evie announced once they were in their pyjamas and had brushed their teeth with only minimal fuss.
'One very quick story and then you can go down and say goodnight and then bed.'
After the story, they went down and said goodnight as if they’d said goodnight to Miles every night of their lives. It all just felt simple, natural, right and good, which was better than some of the alternatives Daisy had cooked up in her head.
When she came back down, the kitchen was spotless. Daisy smiled. ‘Let’s go in the shop. It’s lovely in there in the evening.’
After taking in a bottle of wine, they sat in the wingback chairs. Miles smiled. 'That went well.'
'You think so?' Daisy asked, though she knew he was right. It had gone very well, almost suspiciously well.
'They're amazing, Daise. Really. You've done such a good job with them. I have to admit that I did wonder how this was going to go…'
Daisy felt heat in her cheeks. 'They're pretty okay, aren't they? Most of the time, anyway. You caught them on a good day.'
'I doubt that. I think they're probably incredible most days from what I’ve seen.'
'So, what did you think? Honestly.'
Miles thought for a bit, looked out the window at the street beyond and then back again. 'I think I understand now why you were so concerned.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean, they're not just your children, are they? They're your whole world. I can see how hard you must have worked. That's a lot of responsibility for one person and you had them when you were very young. Yeah, impressed.'
Daisy nodded and swallowed.
‘They're happy and confident and curious about everything. They feel safe enough to be themselves, even with a stranger. That's not an accident, Daise. That's because of you. I know I am not a stranger, but I’ve really only met them a couple of times.'
'It doesn't always feel like I'm doing a good job.'
'I bet it doesn't. But from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're doing an amazing job.'
Daisy tried to process everything that had happened that afternoon. The twins had taken to Miles like ducks to water, which made her happy if a little confused as to what happened next. 'What happens now?'
'What do you want to happen now?'
'I don't know. This is all new territory for me.’
'For me too. I think we just go with the flow. That went okay and now I feel as if I am not skulking around hiding stuff all the time.'
‘Good, I just hope it stays this way. Sometimes things go wrong for me.’
'Nah, you've just had some bad experiences. Sometimes you get to be happy with a bloke one of your children threw ice cream at.'
Daisy giggled and looked at Miles sitting there in her bookshop, in the space she had created for herself and the twins, looking like he belonged there. It made her feel pathetically fuzzy and as if all was well in the world. ‘They’ll never live that down, will they?’
‘Nope. It was an unusual way for us to meet. I mean, most normal people meet in the pub.’
Daisy grimaced. ‘Or on a dating app.’
Miles shook his head. ‘Don’t even go there.’
‘I’ve heard it’s very grim.’
Miles suddenly looked very serious. ‘All joking aside. I want to be part of this. I want to be part of your life and the twins' lives. I really love their mum a lot.’
Daisy swallowed. ‘Even though it's complicated?’
‘Especially because it's complicated. The best things usually are, although really, I think this is all quite simple.’
‘Let's take it one day at a time and see what happens.’
‘I can work with that.’