Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Discoveries Uncovered
Feelings Explored
Bria let her warmth seep slowly into him.
At first, she felt only the familiar things she often sensed when comforting others—strength, tension, and exhaustion buried deep beneath control.
Then suddenly something deeper opened beneath her touch. The force of it stole her breath so quickly she had no time to gasp or make a sound. Emotion crashed through her so fiercely she nearly jerked her hand away.
It wasn’t desire nor simple affection.
Love.
It was love so fierce, so absolute and unyielding that she could not be mistaken about it.
It surrounded her so completely she struggled to separate where Kaelan’s feelings ended and her own began.
She felt how deeply he needed her near him, how instinctively his thoughts remained fixed upon her no matter what else surrounded him. How she mattered to him above all else.
The strength of it shook her and she understood why.
Somehow… she had become part of him.
The realization left her trembling. Then something else came, an ache so deep and raw it tightened painfully inside her chest.
The feeling of separation.
The emptiness he experienced whenever distance stretched between them, as though some essential part of himself had been pulled away.
Bria’s breath caught sharply. She knew that feeling. She had felt it herself every time they were separated since meeting him, though until now she had lacked words to explain it.
Her hand pressed harder against his chest instinctively, drawn deeper into the powerful emotions surrounding her.
Kaelan was aware of the chance he had taken to let her in, to let her explore, to let her feel. He had to be careful. He could not let her go too deep and she was dangerously close to getting there.
His entire body tightened. She felt too much already. If she went any deeper…
Kaelan closed his hand firmly over hers, halting the warmth still flowing between them.
“Bria.” His voice came low and rough, a warning hidden inside it.
But Bria barely heard him. She remained caught within the overwhelming force of what he felt for her.
“You…” Her voice trembled softly. “How can you possibly feel that much for me?”
Kaelan’s jaw tightened. He could not be completely honest without revealing far more than he was prepared for her to know. And more dangerously still, part of him no longer cared if the truth came out.
“We barely know each other,” she said as he moved her hand off his chest to entwine his fingers with hers, understanding she was to look no further.
“It doesn’t always take time to come to know one another. Sometimes it simply happens.”
Bria thought about couples in Willowmere and other villages she had been called to.
Women enjoyed sharing stories. The story most shared was how they knew their husband was the one, the one they would wed.
Some did say that as soon as they laid eyes upon him, they knew.
For others, it took a while. So, his explanation did make sense.
But still, there was something else, something she had been beginning to feel when he moved her hand off his chest, something he did not want her to know… to feel.
She could not hold her tongue. “There is something you are not telling me.”
Kaelan held her gaze for several long moments unsure of what to do. He expected her to understand, but she wasn’t part of his tribe, so how could she?
Finally, a decision made, he gave a slight nod. “Aye, there is.”
Bria’s pulse quickened.
“Come and sit with me,” Kaelan said, keeping her hand firmly entwined with his as he guided her toward the bed near the hearth.
The fire burned brightly, keeping the cottage comfortably warm while the rain had begun to fall heavily against the window.
Bria sank down beside him upon the edge of the bed, their joined hands resting on his thigh that leaned against hers. An intimate scene one would see between a husband and wife, yet they were not. And yet… it felt as though they were.
Kaelan remained silent for a moment, more than just comfort stirring in him as he sat with the light touch of her leg against his.
He cautioned himself to be careful. He had told her in time, but the realization that she wasn’t like him, did not understand the way of his tribe, did not understand what was happening to her, was not fair to her.
She had to at least understand it and come to her own decision.
“I suppose it is time I told you more about myself.”
Bria studied him carefully, patience replacing some of the uncertainty inside her.
“I am listening,” she said, her heart thumping a little too rapidly as she wondered what she would learn.
A faint smile touched his mouth briefly before fading once more. “I come from the Thornek Tribe. We live in the southern reaches of Northland.”
“I have heard little of Northland beyond trader tales,” she admitted.
“Most tales focus on the harshness of it.” His gaze drifted briefly toward the fire as though seeing another land entirely. “The winters truly are fierce. Snow begins in the fall and often remains well into spring. Ice covers the rivers thick enough for horse and wagon to cross.”
Despite herself, Bria found herself drawn into the quiet warmth entering his voice as he spoke of home.
“But it is beautiful,” Kaelan continued. “More beautiful than most realize. Forests are heavy with snow. Mountains shine beneath ice. The silence after fresh snowfall…”
A faint softness touched his expression that she had not seen before.
“There is nothing else like it.”
Bria smiled faintly watching him. “You miss it.”
“Aye.” He gave a brief nod. “But the summers…” A deeper warmth entered his voice now. “The land changes completely. Flowers spread across the hills and valleys everywhere you look. Color returns to everything after the long winter.”
Bria found herself strangely fascinated listening to him speak this way. This was not the guarded Kaelan she had traveled beside through Driochmor. This was the man beneath the silence.
“The Thornek are a sturdy people,” he continued. “The winters demand it. Families remain close because survival often depends upon it.”
Bria nodded once, understanding that much at least. “And family matters greatly to your people.”
“It is everything.”
The simple certainty in his voice settled deeply within her.
Kaelan looked down briefly at their joined hands before lifting his gaze to hers once more.
“There is another reason the Thornek hold family so closely.”
Bria waited quietly.
Kaelan’s thumb moved slowly across the back of hers. “My people possess the ability to know when they meet the one meant to stand beside them through life.”
Bria wasn’t quite sure if she understood what he was saying, and asked, “Do you speak of love? Marriage?”
“Aye, I do.”
Bria’s brow wrinkled. “One touch reveals love?”
Kaelan’s gaze held hers steadily now. “Aye, one touch is all it takes.”
The words settled softly between them.
It was strange to think such a thing was possible, though she had wondered if perhaps one day she would touch a man and feel, know he was meant for her, as foolish as the thought had been.
It struck her then… the first time she laid her hand upon Kaelan.
The strange warmth that spread through her.
The pull she had felt ever since. The emptiness whenever they were apart.
Had he sensed it too?
The uncertainty must have shown plainly upon her face because Kaelan’s expression softened slightly.
“I felt it as soon as you touched me, Bria. It rushed through me and squeezed at my heart until I thought I would burst. It was like nothing I’d ever felt. It was difficult to sit there and do nothing when I wanted to take hold of you and never let you go.”
Bria stared at him, bewildered, barely able to ask, “You speak of love?”
“Aye, Bria. I love you from the depths of my heart, strange as that may seem to you, though you felt it yourself when you touched me just moments ago. So you know I speak truthfully,” he paused as if uncertain to continue, “but that doesn’t mean you must love me in return.
You are not Thornek. You do not possess that certainty of my people. Which is why I told you… in time.”
Bria thought suddenly of all the moments he had spoken those words to her. In time… not meant as avoidance or dismissal. It was patience, or at least an attempt at it.
Confused by it all, she said, “Yet now you tell me. Why?”
“I realized what you might be feeling, how it would confuse you, even frustrate you. How it might take longer than necessary for you to understand and decide.” His tone turned serious.
“And because I am impatient to join with you, make you mine, and love you for the rest of our days. But only if you want the same.”
She shook her head befuddled by it all. “And what if I said it is not what I want?”
As soon as she spoke the words a sharp sting struck her heart that almost had her rushing her hand to her chest, but it was upon seeing the intense sorrow in his eyes that caused her the most pain.
Kaelan took a forceful breath. “Then I would say no more and never mention it again.”
“But if I am the one meant for you and I chose not t—”
“That is for me to deal with, not you,” he said and abruptly released her hand and stood. “You need time, Bria. Time to understand what you feel without my emotions clouding your judgment.” He stepped away from her. “You need the freedom to decide for yourself.”
Bria’s chest tightened painfully at the tenderness behind the words.
Because despite the fierce possessiveness she felt inside him, despite the overwhelming certainty of his love…
Kaelan was still placing her choice above his own desires.
And somehow that made her heart ache and her longing for him deepen even more.
She went to say something, but Kaelan had already opened the door and she let him go. They both needed distance from each other after this revelation.
Why then did his absence leave her aching so deeply inside her?