Chapter 7
Tasks and Goals
Cora
Hushed whispers filled the otherwise quiet room as I sat, staring at Camilla across the room.
Sabel, the female she was whispering to, wasn’t much of a healer, but that is what they referred to her as.
When you lived in a castle filled with vampires and a few humans who were destined to die anyway, you didn't need to heal much.
No, her job was simply to use her magic and her years of experience delivering babies to let Keres know if and when someone was pregnant, and since we were only allowed sex with him, it would be his baby.
But I didn’t need to focus on what they were saying to know what was being said beyond my hearing capabilities—I was once again a failure and not with child.
See? No witchy senses needed. No fancy vampire healer needed. Just the knowledge that every single time I went into that room and we had sex, I prayed to Ernesia, the Goddess of dreams and death, and the Mother of vampires, that I would fail him once again.
Carrying his child, a part of him, scared me more than anything in this world.
When I was younger, I’d ask my mother when I could be a mom too.
She’d laugh and tell me I had to find my other half first, the one who completed me inside and out.
My mate. She’d tell Silv and I stories of the Fates, and how when the old kings angered them, they took away many of our abilities, including the one to procreate with anyone they deemed worthy of their time.
I’d told Keres that story when I’d found out what his goal of these parties was, and he’d told me I was a silly child who listened to an idiot female.
A female who knew nothing of the world, and then he put below for over a fortnight.
When I’d been allowed back up with everyone else, I hadn’t spoken of it again.
I’d almost forgotten about those stories until recently. My mother’s words whispered through my mind in the middle of the day when I tried with all my might to sleep.
The thought of there ever being a male out there who could complete me was absurd to think about, and even if there was, I had no inclination that I’d be leaving this castle alive with the ability to find him—whoever he may be.
On the other side, they said a mate was someone destined to you, given by the Fates themselves, and what had I done to deserve one? Nothing. If anything, the Fates watched me and cut that tie the moment I left my sister behind and unknowing of anything but her own name.
I pushed out a breath, forcing myself to drop the pity party I was internally attending.
Dropping my hands back to my sides, I let my gaze return to the healer and Camilla across the room.
They both looked concerned, but my level of concern didn’t rise until he walked into the room.
He took one look at the healer, and she shook her head subtly, but not subtly enough because it was still quite clear to me what she was saying.
No child.
“Leave us,” he commanded. The two women huddled together as they scurried out of the room, softly closing the door behind them. I should have felt fear, but I couldn’t muster it.
My gaze fell from him back to my lap as my back hit the wall behind me. “I already know, Master, I’m sorry.” I found myself whispering as if this were truly my fault. I watched as his hands slid along my thighs and stopped on the sides of my hips.
“Look at me, Cora.” His voice was gentle and as my gaze rose, I felt myself start to relax, which was a poor choice because I knew better.
I knew better than to relax in this place, because when you relaxed?
Death met you soon after. “I’m moving Irena up as my number one.
It’s clear you’re not meant to carry my child and I want all of your efforts moved to the shifter.
I have it on good authority he’s drawn to you, Cora. Use that.”
I felt my eyes darting between his, trying to read him, trying to figure him out. “B-b-but, Master, Irena isn’t… she doesn’t,” I started, my pulse skyrocketing and my eyes watering. I couldn’t help it. I hated that he had this control over me. I hated feeling as if I’d let him down.
“Cora, stop,” he demanded, his face turning hard as he pulled his hands away from my body, his warmth leaving with him. “I’ve given you a purpose. You’ll do as you’re told and you’ll do it well. Otherwise I’ll have no use for you, and you know what happens to those I have no use for.”
He was right, I knew exactly what happened. Unbidden images of my sister floated their way to the front of my mind—her bloody body on the floor of the throne room, beaten, abused, broken.
His voice muttering that she’d outlived her purpose.
Keres walked towards the door, but stopped before he could exit, his cold eyes returning to me as I forced the memories back behind the mental wall.
“I’m expecting results, Cora, and if I find he’s tasted your blood again, I’ll rip his heart out and make you eat it in front of the entirety of the castle.” With that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving me to wallow in his parting words.
My chambers were typically the one place where I could be alone, minus Camilla when she came to get me ready for court or snoop, but even that wasn’t needed now, so alone is what I’d be.
However, instead of hiding in my room and trying to formulate a plan to stay alive and retrieve the information Keres expected of me, I was meandering through the halls.
Keres had made it clear the moment he left that room that I was no longer his main focus for his children, and while I thought I’d be upset longer than this, I just felt numb.
My feelings were a mix of anger, disappointment, relief, anxiety, and more things I couldn’t be bothered to delve into and allot names for.
So I walked the halls, hoping I’d find inspiration somewhere, only I didn’t. I let my feet and the Fates do the guiding. A practice I rarely allowed anymore.
Shock shouldn’t have filled me when I found myself outside his door.
The guards didn’t try to stop me—under Keres’s orders to let me through and in to see him whenever I wanted.
They all knew my tasks and goals. They all knew I was supposed to whore myself to the enemy to obtain information, and yet none of them looked shocked or horrified.
They just nodded and told me to yell if I needed help with him as they paced the long, dimly lit halls.
I was sure they had little quills prepared to scribble down any information they deemed worthy of relaying back to our master, but that fact also didn’t bring me any sort of emotion.
The door swung open. I wasn’t shocked to find him by the window, his gaze turned out towards the sky. He never so much as flinched when I entered the room. Never much of a reaction at all, if I were being honest.
I thought back to watching him with Voss.
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected when I’d projected myself into that cell.
Mostly to ensure he didn’t speak anything untoward about my sister.
Instead I watched him undergo Voss and Keres’s tortuous methods for the entirety of the night.
His entire body alit at one point, yet he never came close to breaking apart beneath their cruelty.
“You never think about it much until it’s taken from you,” he said, his gaze still not on me and his words pulling me from my mental reflections.
I pushed the door shut behind me before leaning against it. “And what’s that?”
He slowly looked over his shoulder at me, his brows pulled together. I wondered if the legends were true about blood sharing. If he could feel anything I was feeling right now, and if he could, what it felt like. Could he feel the hurricane of turmoil I felt within?
His gaze turned back towards the window before he whispered his reply. “Freedom.”
The word hit me like a ton of stones being dropped from above.
“Honestly, Cedar, it isn’t a feeling I can say I’m familiar with.”
Silence ensued for a moment, and I found myself content to watch him. But like all good things, it didn’t last.
“Do you think it’s possible to miss something you’ve never had?”
My gaze dropped, and once more I wondered if he could feel what I felt. If he could feel the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions swirling within me.
“Of course. I do it every day,” I found myself whispering.