50. Dance
Dance
Helena
I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.
“Ruth, this might not be a good idea.” I grip the edge of my dress, smoothing it over my thighs. “You know Silas will be here. It’s Eli’s birthday, after all.”
Ruth scoffs, flicking on her blinker as she turns into the gravel parking lot of Ropers, the county’s one and only honky-tonk.
A soft red glow from the buzzing neon sign washes over the dusty trucks parked outside on this warm June night.
The sound of country music drifts through the open doors, mixing with bursts of laughter from the crowd inside.
“Don’t be silly,” Ruth says, shifting into park. “Think about it. When’s the last time he left that ranch? Sure, he came to see me, but that was during a crisis. You really think he’d go out to a bar? Besides, Eli would be heartbroken if you weren’t here.”
I let out a slow breath, knowing she’s right. Eli has always been good to me, and tonight isn’t about Silas, it’s about celebrating a man who has held more things together than any of us give him credit for.
Still, my pulse kicks up as I catch my reflection in the visor mirror. My hair is curled just right, soft waves framing my face. The pink sundress I chose clings in all the right places, light and airy against my skin. And my best dress boots carry just enough scuff to say I belong here.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t pick this dress for a reason. If there’s one thing I know about Silas Hayes, it’s that he’s never been able to resist a sundress.
And if by some impossible chance he does walk through those doors tonight? Well, I want to make damn sure he remembers what he’s pushing away.
Ruth stays close as we step inside, the scent of whiskey and sawdust wrapping around me like an old memory.
The bar is lined with familiar faces, town folk nursing their first drinks of the night, voices low but alive with conversation.
The dance floor sits mostly empty, waiting for liquid courage to settle into restless limbs.
Overhead, pendant lights cast a dim glow over the pool tables in the back, where a few players lean over their cues, deep in thought.
“Goodness, the memories here,” I murmur, letting my eyes wander over the space, each corner holding a piece of my past.
From the edge of my vision, I catch Ruth’s smile. “I remember one night, Eli had to come pick the two of you up after you had too many.”
A laugh escapes me. “We were a mess that night.”
Ruth nods, the bittersweet comfort of nostalgia settling between us. “You were.”
Seven Years Ago
Silas holds me close, his strong arms wrapped securely around my waist as we sway to the music. The other couples spin and twirl in time with the upbeat tune, but we barely move, lost in our own rhythm. I don’t care. The gin has my head feeling light, and my husband’s body has me warm.
“Mrs. Hayes, you have had too much to drink, I’m afraid,” he teases, his words slurring.
I let out a playful scoff, swatting his shoulder. “You should talk. You’ve stepped on my toes three times now.”
His lips curve into a lopsided grin. “Just trying to keep you close.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Sorry our feet get tangled up.”
“It’s okay.” I glance around dramatically, flashing him a smile. “If it means I get to be the envy of every woman in this bar, it’s a small price to pay.”
A flush creeps up his neck, just enough for me to notice. “Caroline, no one’s looking at me when you’re in that dress. You look like every cowboy’s dream tonight. Especially mine.”
I tilt my head up, tracing slow circles on his chest with my fingertips. “Really? I did wear it just for you.”
A deep, satisfied rumble vibrates beneath my hands. “You know I love your dresses...” He leans down, his breath against my ear. “Love it even more getting you out of them.”
I gasp in feigned offense. “Mr. Hayes, so scandalous.”
He chuckles, his voice dark as he brushes my hair away, replacing it with slow, lingering kisses along the curve of my shoulder. “I want to get you alone, Mrs. Hayes.”
I let my eyes drift shut, savoring the moment, the feel of him, the gin warming my skin, the music wrapping around us. “Did you park close?”
“Just the opposite,” he murmurs, lips brushing my skin. “Parked in the darkest corner I could find.”
“Perfect. Did you pay the tab?”
He nods against me, and I reach back, finding his hand at the base of my spine and lacing my fingers with his. Without another word, I tug him toward the door.
Once we make it to the truck, he pins me against the door, crashing his lips to mine. My hands find his hair and I curl my leg around his. Our breaths come fast and heavy as he takes me .
Kissing Silas Hayes is like drowning and breathing all at once.
He kisses like he’s pulling me under just to bring me back to life.
There’s nothing hesitant about it. No second-guessing.
Just the rough press of his lips, the way his hands anchor to me like he’s afraid I might slip through his fingers.
Every kiss is a claim, a confession, a promise.
His hand fumbles by my arm for the door handle. “Watch out, love.” I move aside and he opens the door, taking one last look at our surroundings. I climb in, scooting across the bench. He follows, closing the door. As soon as we’re both inside, his lips are back on mine.
“Fuck, I need you, Caroline.”
I push him back against the seat, undoing his belt. His fingers fumble with the button and zipper, then, lifting his hips, he pushes them down far enough to let his cock spring free. I place my hand around him and he exhales.
“Do we take our time, or do you want fast and dirty, Bronco?” I whisper against the taunt skin of his neck.
“We’re in a parking lot, Caroline, we don’t have the luxury of time.”
I laugh and straddle his lap. His hands find their way up the skirt of my dress. “Fuck, you’ve been bare this whole time?”
“Just for you.” I give him a hazy grin.
“How did I get this goddamn lucky?” His eyes scan my face, sparkling blue pools in the moonlight. I feel the heat in my cheeks as I rise up, lining his cock up with my entrance. I slowly sink down, letting the stretch burn, feeling the fullness.
“It’s like your cock was made for me, Silas. Feels so good. So full.”
His mouth roams around my neck and shoulders as his hands find my hips, setting a steady pace. He lowers the straps of my dress, pulling down, exposing my breasts. I circle his lips with my nipple until he captures it in his mouth, sucking, licking.
Between the gin, his mouth on my skin and the way his cock fills me so completely, I swear I could shatter into a million stars and set the whole damn sky on fire.
“God, are you close already, love? You’re dripping down my cock.”
I nod, my eyes squeeze close as I keep moving up and down, finding just the right depth for him to hit that place inside.
“Ah, fuck, you feel incredible, Caroline. Just like that.”
I feel the pleasure inching its way through my entire body. My hips start to slow and his grip tightens. His breaths come harder, his hips rising to meet my movements.
“I’m going to come.” His words are a warning.
“Come inside me. Please,” I pant.
“Are you sure?” His eyes open, finding mine.
“Yes,” I assure him.
His grip tightens on my hips as he thrusts deep, his breath ragged against my ear.
“Then I'm gonna fill you up,” he groans. “Gonna put a baby in you.”
“Oh, God, Silas. Yes, do it.”
With one final slam of my hips, I tumble over the edge. My body shakes and I scream his name just as I feel his cum filling me.
“Shit, Caroline!” His body goes rigid below mine, his hips jerking upward, like he can’t get deep enough.
My head falls to his shoulder as we both come down. I open my eyes and see the window to our side, completely covered by a sweat-filled haze. I reach my fingertip out and draw our initials in the condensation.
“We steamed up the windows.” I giggle.
He kisses my shoulder before leaning his head back against the headrest. “We sure did, love.”
The memory fades, leaving behind the tender weight of the past and the sting of longing.
I laugh, shaking my head. “I was so embarrassed when Old Man Simpson knocked on the truck window. Thought I’d never live it down.
” I take a slow sip of my beer, letting the cool bitterness settle on my tongue.
“And that bartender, he wouldn’t even let us leave. Made us call for a ride home.”
Ruth smirks over the rim of her bottle. “Eli said you two looked like you’d been through a damn tornado. Said you looked guilty as all get out.”
A deep sigh slips from my lips, my fingers tracing the condensation on the glass. “I miss him, Ruth. I’ve missed him for so long.”
Ruth watches me for a moment before taking a long pull from her beer. “I know you have, dear.”
I swallow hard. “But what if I’m holding onto a man who doesn’t exist anymore? What if the Silas I loved is gone?”
Ruth reaches over, her hand covering mine with a comforting squeeze. “He’s in there, Caroline. I’m sure of it.”