Chapter 13, Xan
That plain text does not leave room for interpretation. Lucian’s message is clear, and nothing about it feels good.
After everything Mira dropped on me yesterday, I had not reported back to the Ruler. I had been trying to piece things together, understanding her and the madness that’s been unraveling. But his patience has run out. He wants answers, and I am not in a position to deny him.
I crack my neck, the tension in my spine like a coil about to break. I straighten myself up, the pressure of the decision bearing down on me. There is no backing out now. The anger bubbling under my skin has nowhere to go but forward. My mind races, still my body is already moving before I can even think. There is no time left for contemplation. No time for doubt.
I must go.
I shove my phone into my pocket, my pulse hammering against my ribs like a war drum.
The Order. Now.
Lucian never texts like that unless shit is about to go sideways. Which means I have a fucking problem.
Last night, I kept my mouth shut. About the way my entire world shifted the second I realized what she might remember. I thought I had time to figure this out before he caught on. Clearly, I was wrong.
Mira is still at the table, picking at her food not having a single damn clue that her life is hanging by a thread. That I might walk out this door and come back with orders to kill her.
A muscle ticks in my jaw. It makes no sense to care. I should have left her in that parking lot. Should have let Julian trade her like the disposable pawn she was supposed to be.
But I did not. And now, I am the one in the goddamn crosshairs.
I take a step toward her, dropping a hand onto the back of her chair, my fingers gripping the wood so tightly my knuckles turn white. She stills instantly. Her body reacts before her brain does—like some deep, buried part of her already knows how men like me operate.
I hate that. I hate the flicker of wariness in her eyes. Hate that I might deserve it.
“I have to go.”
She looks up at me, lips parting, hesitation flickering across her face. “Where?”
“Work.”
Her brows pinch together. She wants to push, already knowing I won’t let her. She is getting too good at reading me. I don’t have time for this. I push off the chair, turn on my heel. But her voice stops me cold.
“Xan…” Just my name. Soft.
I grip the doorknob so hard it nearly breaks. If I look back now, I might not leave. And if I don’t leave, Lucian will come looking for me. So, I step out without another word. And slam the door behind me.
I cut the engine. The car comes to a stop with a low rumble, yet it’s the silence that suffocates me. Lucian fucking knows. Or at least, he knows something important. I have no doubt he’s been watching. He always does.
That’s the thing about him—he plays with people like they are pieces on a board, shifting them into place before they even realize they are in a game. I was meant to be ahead of this. Told him something before he had to summon me like a disobedient dog. But last night… last night changed everything.
Mira.
The way she looked at me, unguarded. The way she took me in her mouth, never breaking eye contact, daring to lose control. She knew exactly what kind of goddamn monster I am and still did not flinch. Fuck, for a moment, I let myself believe she was really mine. But Lucian won’t see it that way. He will see it as a weakness. A liability.
I roll my shoulders, trying to shake the tension, even so it’s useless. She should belong to me. She does belong to me. I will be damned if I let him take her away from me.
I move toward the entrance of the compound, the eyes of the others on me. No one says a word. I can feel them judging, but none of them dare to confront me. They know better.
Arriving at his office, I enter without knocking, knowing damn well Lucian’s waiting. As soon as I step inside, he looks at me over with that smug smile readable even under his mask, the one that says he already knows exactly how things are going to go. His gaze is sharp, studying me, slicing through the tension like a blade. I can feel the weight of his eyes, calculating, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
“I have to say, I expected better from you, Xan.”
There is a smooth, amused edge to him—masking something cold. The power that comes from a man who owns everything in his sight and relishes every second of it. He takes a measured sip of his drink, placing the glass back on the table with a deliberate clink, the sound cutting through the air.
“You were always my most disciplined one. My most ruthless,” he continues, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. “Yet, one little redhead bitch bats her lashes at you, drops down on her knees, and suddenly you’re losing your fucking mind.”
My jaw tightens. I can feel my fists clench at my sides, the pressure building. I’m pissed—hell, I’m more than pissed. The Ruler exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head as though he’s disappointed by a foolish child.
“She played you like a goddamn instrument, boy,” he says, his voice thick with derision. “You think you’ve tamed her? That you’ve marked her?” His grin stretches, turning cruel. “No. She’s marking you—and your dick makes you too fucking blind to see it.”
I can feel the fury boiling inside me like an explosive volcano, but I hold it in check, focusing on breathing, on staying calm. Lucian leans forward now, elbows resting on the desk with a thud.
“If she can do this to you, imagine what she could do to me.”
His eyes flicker for a split second—something dark and unreadable crosses his expression. But it’s gone just as quickly as it appeared. He leans back, watching me closely. I know that look. He is enjoying this—enjoying seeing me unravel just a little.
“Tell me, son,” he asks, tilting his head, “I heard she kept her eyes locked on yours the whole time she was blowing your dick like the little slut she is, never flinching. I wonder, Xan. Do you really think you’re special, or is that just some cute trick she plays with the hundreds of men she gets on the floor for?”
I move before I can stop myself, the chair scraping across the floor, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. My pulse pounds in my throat, my body taut with rage. I don’t even know what to say, but my I’m already reacting, every fiber of me screaming to lash out.
Lucian remains still. He just watches me, eyes wide with enjoyment. If anything, he looks fucking pleased—he’s got me exactly where he wanted. A chuckle escapes his mask, low and mocking, rolling from his chest like it is the sweetest fucking music to his ears.
“You have been watching her, haven’t you?” Lucian says, dripping with sarcasm. “Following her every move, trying to figure out what she knows about the man who died. The one she witnessed getting slaughtered. You have been wondering if she could remember, haven’t you? What she might know about that night…”
I stay silent. He’s right. I have been digging, following her every step. She has been the key to understanding that event. To understanding what I was a part of, what happened when I was just a fucking kid. The night I watched a man die at the age of 9. The moment Lucian taught me everything I needed to know about the Order, about betrayal.
“Too bad you never stopped to ask the right question,” he says slowly, his eyes gleaming with that same cold pleasure that always made me want to break his face. “The question you should have been asking Xan is… who exactly was the man Mira accidently watched die?”
I blink, my thoughts momentarily derailing as something inside me shifts, that gnawing suspicion clawing at the back of my mind. I stare at him, barely able to keep my thoughts together.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Lucian takes a step closer, his voice lowering to a quiet hiss.
“You never bothered to dig into her past. You were so focused on what she remembered, on what secrets she could uncover, on getting her mouth around your cock, that you did not bother asking the one question that would have changed everything.”
My heart is pounding now, my stomach twisting with a familiar anxiety, a sense of dread creeping up my spine.
“Because you were there, Xan. You were there when her father died,” Lucian continues, and for the first time in this entire fucked-up conversation, his tone turns sharp, almost cruel. “You saw it with your own eyes, and yet you never connected the dots. You never realized who that man really was, did you?”
I feel like the ground has been pulled out from beneath my feet. My legs almost give way, trying to hold myself steady, clenching my fists at my sides.
“No… That’s not possible.”
His eyes are a flicker of triumph as he watches me spiral.
“Oh, it is possible alright, you just didn’t know it at the time. You were too young, too na?ve to see it for what it was. But now? Now, you are piecing it together, aren’t you? The man you thought was a stranger, the one you saw perish in that cold, bloody night… was Edmund Vale, your sweet little fox’s daddy.”
I take a step back, my breath catching in my throat. My hands are shaking now, the reality of it crashing over me, the truth sinking in.
I was there.
I watched Edmund Vale die.
The man who should have been her protector. The man who… was her father. I stare at Lucian, my chest tightening.
“You killed him, not me!”
The words come out like a growl, the accusation hanging in the air. Lucian’s smile widens, satisfaction radiating from him like a fucking aura.
“Yes, I killed him. While you, Xan… you watched it happen and did nothing. You were a part of it. We both were and still are.”
I try to swallow the lump in my throat, the bitterness of the truth almost choking me. I didn’t know. I didn’t know who he was to her. My mind is spinning. I cannot process it all at once.
“But why the fuck would you…”
I was just a kid, a witness, nothing more. Another tool in Lucian’s hands. Damn, I feel sick.
Lucian steps closer. “Mira’s nothing more than collateral damage, Xan. She’s a means to an end. She always has been.”
I feel the tornado building inside me, but I keep it in check. There is no point in lashing out again, not right now. I need to process this. I need to understand exactly what the hell I am supposed to do with this information. Lucian gives me a look, an egotistic contentment spreading across his face as he leans in closer.
“You see, Xan,” he says softly, “Edmund was not just any man. He was my best friend, my closest ally. But he also used to be the Ruler of the Order. The power he held… It was never going to be mine unless he was out of the picture. I just had no choice.”
My stomach twists. The pieces fall into place.
“I promised him, Xan. I promised Edmund that I would keep Mira safe, protect her. I also knew that the only way to take his place—truly seize the power of the Order—was to kill him. To destroy every single thing he stood for. To eliminate what could stand in my way. You’re getting it now, aren’t you?” he sneers. “Edmund had to go—simple as that. He was in my way, and I do not let obstacles linger. As for Mira? Keeping her alive was a debt I agreed to honor. Nothing more. Nothing less. And I’m a man of my word; a promise is a promise.”
I can’t help but burst into a laugh, on the verge of hysteria, overwhelmed by the rush of revelations flooding my brain.
“You really think that not killing Mira makes you some kind of saint?” I snarl, my voice thick with fury. “You robbed her of any chance to grow up with a father!”
Lucian turns toward me, his supercilious smile unwavering, almost amused.
“You should thank me, Xan! What better way to make her yours? This is a golden opportunity for you to be called ‘daddy’ when you finally get to fuck her.”
Before I can stop myself, my fist flies, crashing into his jaw with a sickening crack. Lucian’s head snaps back, but no reaction whatsoever. Does not even raise an eyebrow. He just laughs, the sound sharp and condescending.
“That is all you’ve got, boy? You really think this changes anything? It doesn’t. We have passed the point of no return.”
I am shaking. I can feel the pulse in my temples, the heat of fury boiling inside. My grip on the knife tightens. I want to bury it in his throat, to watch him bleed for every word he has said. I am so close to explode, the insanity at the brink of my mind.
“Do you want to kill me, Xan?” he asks playfully, clearly amused by my struggle. “You think you can?”
I grind my teeth so hard I’m afraid I will crack them, my breathing ragged, my whole body aching with the need to destroy him.
“Come on, pull yourself together, boy.” Lucian’s voice drips with condescension, his fun barely masked beneath the razor-sharp edge of his authority. He leans back, utterly relaxed, as if this is just another day at the office for him.
“Thanks to my cameras in the hangar, I gathered she recognizes the alley. That she’s making the connection to Edmund. Am I correct?” He pauses, watching me for any reaction. “Is there anything else you might be keeping from me?”
I remain quiet. I can tell his lips are curing into a knowing sneer just by the look in his eyes.
“Let’s make a deal, shall we? You keep feeding me the information I want, and in return, we pretend you don’t know a damn thing about her father. Not that I imagine you would be rushing to tell her you stood by and watched it happen without lifting a finger, would you?”
His words are poison, each one sinking beneath my skin, corroding whatever restraint I have left.
“And in exchange for your loyalty,” he continues smoothly, “I won’t send Kayde to fuck Mira before he slices her throat.”
That sick cunt. Kayde—the bastard who has been waiting for an opportunity to crawl up the ranks. If Lucian gives the order, he will not hesitate. He will break my girl in ways I cannot even fucking imagine. And no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to keep her safe, she will be beyond my reach.
“You don’t need Kayde for this,” I grit out. “And you damn know it.”
Lucian chuckles. “Good. Then we are in agreement. We will continue this mission in harmony—you keep giving me what I want, and I won’t say a word while I watch you rail her through my monitors.”
He takes a slight pause.
“Oh, and don’t get mad if I decide to broadcast it across the Order’s screens, hmm? Your colleagues had a great time jerking off to her huge tits while she was showering last night.”
My vision whites out for a second. My fists clench, nails digging into my palms so hard I might break the skin. He’s testing me. Mocking me. Dangling her in front of me like bait, just to see how much I can take before I break.
And I’m this close.