Chapter 12
Benjamin sat in Summer’s car, parked in her mama’s driveway. He stared out the windshield at the faded gray siding of the house she’d grown up in. He’d never been inside even though he and TJ had been friends since sixth grade. Even during the brief time he and Summer had dated, she had always been waiting outside for him when he came to pick her up. Neither TJ nor Summer had ever said much about their parents, but he knew their dad had left when Summer was a baby. And it was hard not to hear the rumors about their mother.
He wondered if that was the real reason Summer had asked him to stay in the car with Max while she checked on her mama—though the excuse she’d given was that Max might fray her mama’s already frazzled nerves.
Benjamin glanced to the back seat, where Max was quietly paging through a book on dinosaurs. He didn’t look like he’d frazzle anyone’s nerves at the moment, although Benjamin knew from experience that he could throw a tantrum with the best of them.
He turned back to the front, trying to figure out how to reconcile the TJ he knew with the pile of debts he’d found this morning. But if the rumors about Summer’s mama were true, he supposed it made sense that TJ struggled with addiction too. Why hadn’t he ever said anything to Benjamin? Maybe he could have helped—or at least helped him find someone who could. His brother Simeon was a Christian counselor, for goodness’ sake.
Benjamin wasn’t exactly sure what happened when someone died in debt, but he prayed that TJ’s mistake wouldn’t end up costing Summer and Max. That was the last thing his friend would have wanted. Those two were everything to TJ.
A heavy weight of responsibility descended on Benjamin’s shoulders. He owed it to his friend to make sure Summer and Max were okay, no matter what.
“How are you doing, Max?” he asked, turning to really look at the boy.
“I’m hot,” Max complained.
Benjamin nodded. It was hot in the car, though they had all of the windows open. Maybe he should unbuckle Max and play with him in the yard.
But before he could unfasten his own seat belt, the front door of the house opened, and Summer emerged. She hurried toward the car, her head down, and dropped into the passenger seat.
“How is your mama taking it?” Benjamin asked.
Summer clicked her seat belt into place. “She’s . . . fine.” She averted her face to stare out the window, but not before he noticed the fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. “We should get going.”
Benjamin wanted to press more, to ask how he could help with whatever was going on with her mama, but something held him back. Clearly, Summer didn’t want him involved in that part of her life.
He backed the car out of the driveway. Next to him, Summer pulled the rubber band off of her severe bun and shook out her hair, running her fingers through it with a sigh.
Benjamin locked his fingers on the steering wheel so he wouldn’t be tempted to smooth his hand over the sleek strands. Whatever feelings he’d once had—or still had—for Summer had to be put aside now. She was much too vulnerable. It was his job to protect her. Not to confuse her by trying to bring a relationship into the picture.
She leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes, and Benjamin drove in silence, until Max announced, “I have to go potty.”
Benjamin groaned to himself. But to the boy he said, “It’s only a little longer.”
That wasn’t exactly the truth. They had at least half an hour until they reached Brampton.
“I can’t wait,” Max whined.
“I forgot to have him go before we left,” Summer muttered, her eyes still closed. Louder, she said, “You can hold it, Max. You’re a big boy.”
But Max started to cry. “I want my daddy. I want to go potty.”
“Okay. Shh.” Summer’s eyes opened, and she reached into the back seat to pat Max’s leg. “We’ll find somewhere to go potty.” She turned to Benjamin. “Is there a gas station coming up?”
“Not until the outskirts of Brampton.”
Max cried harder. “Daddy,” he called. “Daddy, please come back. I have to go potty.”
The words sliced at Benjamin, but he forced himself to lift his voice over them. “Hey, Maxerooni, what’s that song you love so much? The one with the dinosaurs?”
“One Hundred Little Dinosaurs?” Max asked.
“Yeah. That’s right. Can you teach it to me?”
Max gave a long-suffering sigh. “Then can I go potty?”
“Yes,” Summer promised.
“Fine.” Max started to sing. “One little dinosaur, wishing for a friend. Along came another and then there were two.”
“A songwriter, my brother was not,” Summer mumbled, but she joined in on the next line. “Two little dinosaurs, wishing for a friend. Along came another and then there were three.”
“But he sure could count,” Benjamin murmured back, gratified by the brief smile it brought to Summer’s face. He joined in the song too, and by the time they got to one hundred dinosaurs, they had reached the outskirts of Brampton.
He pulled into the first gas station he spotted.
“I have to go potty,” Max said, as if he’d just remembered.
“Yep. I’ll take you.” Benjamin got out of the car and opened the back door, then leaned in to unbuckle the boy. But nothing happened when he pressed the car seat’s harness release.
Summer leaned in from the other side. “You have to press here and here.” Her fingers accidentally brushed Benjamin’s as she showed him, and she stilled for a moment, her eyes closing. Benjamin’s heart lurched.
Get it together, he commanded himself, unfastening the buckle the rest of the way. She needs you as a friend. Don’t do anything to make her push you away.
He pulled Max out of the car and led him into the gas station’s restroom. Fortunately, Max had been potty trained long enough that he didn’t need help with anything except reaching the paper towels.
When they came out, Summer was stepping out of the checkout line. She handed Max a chocolate bar, then gave Benjamin a chocolate peanut butter cup.
“Do you still like these?” Her question was almost shy.
“I do.” The fact that she’d remembered shot a beam of joy into his heart, but he quickly squelched it. It didn’t change anything. “Thank you.”
In the car, Summer buckled Max back into his car seat, then climbed into the front seat next to Benjamin.
“What did you get yourself?” he asked as he pulled out of the gas station’s parking lot. “Wait, don’t tell me. Taffy. No, sour worms. No, strawberry hard candy.” He’d always teased her that she was the only girl he knew who didn’t love chocolate.
She held up a bag of candy corn, and he made a face. “You know that’s probably from last Halloween, right?”
She shrugged and popped a handful into her mouth. “It will serve its purpose.”
“What purpose is that? To kill your taste buds?”
She laughed a little, the sound so perfectly normal that for a moment Benjamin was sure nothing had happened to TJ. That this was simply a pleasant day out.
But then the courthouse loomed in front of them, and their mission became all too real again.
It was busier than he’d expected on a Monday morning, and he had to circle the area a few times before he found a place to park.
When he finally did, he turned off the car, and he and Summer just sat, as if neither of them could face what came next.
“Get out?” Max asked from the back seat.
“Yep, Maxerooni. That’s what we need to do.” Benjamin unfastened his seat belt and opened his door. When Summer still didn’t move, Benjamin extracted Max from his car seat. Then, together, they moved to open Summer’s door.
She got out slowly, as if every inch cost her something.
As they started toward the courthouse, Max slipped one of his hands into each of theirs.
“Swing me,” he cried.
Benjamin looked at Summer, and she didn’t protest, so he counted down. “Three, two, one.” He and Summer both lifted together, and the boy’s feet swung into the air, rising alongside his shrieking giggle.
A woman walking toward them smiled. “Enjoy your son while he’s young,” she called. “They grow up too fast.”
Benjamin exchanged a quick glance with Summer, but neither of them had the heart to tell the woman that they weren’t one big, happy family. They were just three broken people trying to figure out how to get through loss together.
Summer’s head spun as the clerk handed her yet another form.
“This one is a petition for guardianship. You need to fill it out and attach all of the required tax forms, proof of income, etcetera. And then you’ll need to send notices to any of the boy’s other relatives.” The clerk sounded matter of fact, as if people came in needing to take guardianship of their dead brother’s kids all the time.
Who knew? Maybe they did. Maybe this was routine for the woman. But it wasn’t for Summer.
“His other relatives?” she asked numbly. Did that include people who were so far out of the boy’s life that they didn’t even know he existed? Like his mother, who hadn’t seen the boy since the day after he was born, when she’d left the hospital without her son? “What if I don’t know where to find them?”
“You can serve them by publication. Your lawyer will be able to handle all of that.”
“My lawyer?” Summer gaped at the woman. It wasn’t like she kept a lawyer on retainer for such situations. “Do I need a lawyer?”
“In a case without a will?” The woman eyed her sharply over the top of her glasses, as if it were Summer’s fault that her brother hadn’t written a will. “I would get one.”
“Oh.” In her mind, Summer had thought this would be so much easier. Like she would simply sign a piece of paper that said she would take care of her nephew and that would be that.
“I read about a case recently,” the clerk continued, apparently warming up to the subject. “A woman wanted guardianship of her soon-to-be stepson after her fiancé died, but there wasn’t a will and she didn’t have a lawyer, and the kid ended up going into foster care because the stepmom didn’t have the income to support the kid.”
“Oh.” Summer swallowed roughly. Did she have the income to support Max?
It didn’t matter to her. She would give every last penny to the boy. But would the court see it that way?
“And then there was a case where—”
“Is there anything else we need to do?” Benjamin interjected, quelling the woman’s story.
The clerk frowned, clearly not appreciating the interruption. “You have the forms for the estate and probate and the guardianship. You return that all here when you’re done, and then they’ll name an executor of the estate, and a hearing will be set up for the guardianship.”
“Thank you.” Benjamin took Summer’s arm and steered her toward the door, grabbing Max’s hand with his free one. “Come on, Maxerooni, time to go home.”
Summer managed to hold it together until they reached the steps. Then she whirled on Benjamin.
“A lawyer? I have to get a lawyer? I can’t afford that. They’re going to take Max from me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.” She managed to catch the sob in her chest before it escaped.
“It’s going to be okay.” Benjamin squeezed her elbow.
“How?” she demanded. “How is it possibly going to be okay?”
Benjamin’s forehead wrinkled uncharacteristically, and she could tell he was worried too. But he said, “My dad has a friend who’s a lawyer. We can call him as soon as we get home.”
Summer shook her head. “I can’t pay him. I’ll have to figure it out on my own.”
“I’ll pay him,” Benjamin said firmly. “You can’t risk doing this on your own. What if something goes wrong and you lose him?” Benjamin tilted his head toward Max, who had stopped to examine an ant.
Summer shook her head desperately. He was right that she couldn’t risk losing Max. But she also couldn’t take his money.
“I’ll pay you back,” she finally offered feebly. Though where she’d ever get the money to do that, she didn’t know.
Benjamin didn’t say anything, and she knew him well enough to know that was his way of disagreeing, but they could argue about it later. For now, she needed to focus on getting guardianship of Max. Once that was figured out, she could worry about everything else.
When they got to the car, Benjamin opened her door, and she fell into her seat before remembering that she needed to buckle Max in too.
She blew her hair out of her face and darted a look around as if a judge might be watching her every move this very moment, deciding whether she would be a fit guardian.
But Benjamin was already leaning into the back seat and settling Max into his car seat. She watched as he snapped the clips together, then ruffled the boy’s hair, a sudden wish that he would always be there to help them almost overpowering her.
She spun around and settled back into her seat, fastening her own seat belt and then leaning her head back and closing her eyes.
She hadn’t slept even a minute last night, and heaviness weighed her eyelids down so that she couldn’t open them even when she heard Benjamin get in and start the car. She felt him lean closer as he turned to back out of the parking spot. His subtle citrus-herb scent made her feel safe, and she let herself drift into sleep.