Chapter 16
Vi’s sister had hung around long enough for Blake to trade the ridiculous robe for his long-sleeve tee. He felt much better wearing it. It’d grown dark outside, and he ought to go home. While Vi stood in the threshold and watched as Rose headed for her car, he messaged Falcon and ordered a vehicle able to carry a bike.
“It’ll be a good half hour before I get picked up,” he said when Vi returned. That ought to give them enough time to finish the conversation Rose had interrupted earlier.
“Let’s sit in the living room.”
He chose a comfortable armchair. Vi plunked onto the couch across from him. “Your sister’s good people,” he said. “What did she whisper to you before she stepped outside?”
Looking like a cornered rabbit caught where it shouldn’t be, she gave a closed-mouth smile, grabbed a throw pillow and hugged it. “It was about me, wasn’t it?” he guessed.
She huffed out a breath. “Not everything is about you.”
“Yeah, but this is.” At her questioning face, he added, “Your expression gave you away.”
Muttering something that sounded like “why me?” she glanced up as if irritated, but by the light tinge on her cheeks, that wasn’t the issue. He eyed her. “Well?”
“All right, she mentioned you. Satisfied?”
“Not quite. I want to know what she said.” She shook her head, reducing him to beg. “Please tell me, pretty please.”
“Oh, all right. She thinks you’re a great guy and told me to be nice to you.”
“I like her even better now. Before she showed up, we were talking about what happened earlier today. You started to say something about us needing to do I don’t know what because that’s when she came in.”
“Let me think back. I don’t remember, except to say you’re not at all like Devin. He’s all brawn and little brain. You’re smart and kind and caring.”
Damn, he liked that. “Tell me why us kissing reminded you of him.”
She sucked her bottom lip for a few moments. “He hurt me a lot, and I guess I’m worried about that.”
“I don’t go around breaking hearts.”
“I doubt anyone sets out with that in mind, but at some point, it happens to us all.”
The way she hugged herself, she must’ve been hurt a lot. “How many times have you had your heart broken?”
“Once.”
In disbelief, he studied her. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “Devin was the first and only. I’ve learned to be careful. What about you?”
“I went steady a few times in high school, but those relationships never lasted. I had a breakup or two in college. Sure, each time it happened stung, but like almost everybody else, I survived. I’d been out of college for a while when I met Sammi. We thought we were madly in love. Then a few months before the wedding, we realized what we felt for each other was mostly about sex. We agreed getting married would be a mistake, called it off and went our separate ways.
“Splitting up was a mutual agreement but still hurt. For as long as I can remember, I’d pictured myself falling in love, getting married and having kids. Since the thing with Sammi, I’ve changed.”
“How so?” Vi asked, toying with a confused frown.
A question he’d mulled over for a long time. “If an amicable breakup hurts, think how much worse it must be when a relationship ends in divorce or death. The emotional pain of either one must be almost impossible to bear. Not must be, is. If you’d lived with my mother after my dad died, you’d understand.”
“With my parents, it was the opposite. They couldn’t wait to get divorced.”
“Different strokes, but bad outcomes either way.”
“You’re saying you don’t want to fall in love?”
She seemed genuinely curious, and he thought a minute before answering. “I’m saying I’m not sure I ever have. There’ve been times when I thought I was in love and the feeling was mutual. The beginning always feels good, but not the end. And for me, it always ends. “I’m beginning to think I’m not capable of committing to the kind of relationship that lasts.” He’d never admitted that to anyone, hadn’t realized it himself until now.
She sucked on her bottom lip, fussed with her ponytail. “I think we all start out dreaming of love and marriage. I certainly did when Devin singled me out. I was twenty and guess I was looking for stability. Gran was living with us then, but money was tight, and Rose called a lot for advice. In other words, I was still responsible for my family. I needed someone to lift the burdens off my shoulders, and I was a late bloomer with nobody to give me good advice.” She paused and shook her head. “My parents were and still are really messed up.”
Blake could identify. “I hear that. My mother was a basket case for years. If it hadn’t been for Grandpop and Grandmom, I don’t know where I’d be.”
“Thanks to the total lack of role models, I fell for the first guy who paid attention to me. Couldn’t have been a worse choice. Looking back, I realize how lucky I was when he walked away. I can’t imagine the nightmare my life would’ve been if we’d stayed together.”
“I’m pretty sure that if Sammi and I had gotten married, we’d be divorced,” Blake said.
“What’s she doing now?”
“Last I heard, she’s married with a couple of kids. I say good for her. You and I are older and wiser than we used to be. You understand me, and most of the time we get along great, even if we don’t know each other well enough to think about a real relationship.” As true as his words were, he felt as if he’d known her for years. “I like you, though, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.”
He expected her to at least nod. When she didn’t, he nudged her. “You like me, too, right?” he asked with a long, level look that ended when she glanced down.
“I guess so.”
“Gee, thanks. Word, I won’t kiss you again unless you want me to.”
She finally met his gaze. “And I won’t send mixed messages.”
“Deal. In the meantime, I don’t see why we can’t hang out like we have been.”
A corner of her mouth lifted. “Wouldn’t that shock the grandparents.”
“I picture us prying their jaws off the floor.”
She hadn’t verbally agreed to anything yet, which led him to the next bit of confusion. “There’s something else I wonder about. During lunch this afternoon, you made a comment about steering clear of ‘guys like me.’ Then a few minutes ago you called me smart, kind and caring. Which of those is right?”
“You seriously want me to answer that?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Fine. Both are true.”
Wondering at that, he scratched his head. “What’s your definition of guys like me?”
Vi checked her watch and stood up. “Your ride should be here any minute now. You’d better get your bike and shoes and the rest of your stuff together.”
Not ten seconds later, his phone beeped. “You’re right—the driver’s two minutes away.” Which meant he wouldn’t find out the rest of what he wanted to know tonight. Might never if she stayed so close-mouthed.
She accompanied him to the garage. There, he toed into his shoes, stowed the clean clothes and waterproof, now air dried jacket into the bike carrier before hooking it to his bike. The driver pulled up. “Talk soon,” he told Vi and wheeled the bike out of the garage.
She stood there a minute before the garage door closed, leaving him more confused than ever.
For the restof the weekend, Vi stayed home and kept to herself. Rose phoned that the visit with Gran had been so-so due to Gran’s melancholy and refusal to talk much. She simply didn’t feel like it. So sad.
Her grandma wasn’t the only one who needed solitude. Vi thought a lot about the previous day. Talking more with Blake last night had been both bad and good. Bad because she’d told him details about both herself and Devin she rarely spoke about. Good because she understood that he didn’t consider himself capable of the kind of relationship she hoped to find someday.
It was a relief to know how he felt and would keep her from wasting her time wanting what he couldn’t give. Even so, deep down and like it or not, she’d started to want that anyway.
She refused to let her feelings for him grow any deeper. After beating herself up for talking too much and for wanting what he couldn’t give, she decided not to waste any more time thinking about him.
Foremost on her mind right now was work and how to make the best of a difficult situation. Chaos still reigned at the company. People continued to work long hours and grumble, and she worried that some might resign. She was almost there, too, battling with herself to suck it up, then thinking about working elsewhere.
Yet she loved working there, or had, and the low morale at the company worried her. On Wednesday a full week and a half since the upheaval, she stopped by Todd’s office to talk about it. Having been transferred to a new position as head of operations, he’d moved upstairs to join the other highest-level employees and no longer spent much time on the floor where most of the chaos reigned. He needed to know that everyone was frazzled and quickly burning out, herself included, and that she’d come up with a way to lower the tension level at least temporarily.
Todd seemed every bit as drained. “How are you holding up, Vi?”
“Doing my best. We both know it’s only been a short while since everything changed. The future is an unknown and with a much smaller workforce, it’s a zoo on the front lines. People are demoralized, and I worry some will quit. If that happened, the company would suffer more than it is now. I certainly don’t want that to happen, and I know customers and clients would agree. I’ve come up with an idea that might help alleviate the pressure.”
All ears, Todd leaned forward. “Oh?”
“What if we rehire some of the laid off employees? No promises they’ll be able to keep their jobs, but as a way to help everyone for a little while. Can we do that?”
Her former boss regarded her. “I’m impressed, Vi. I barely have time to sleep, let alone problem solve. I’d have to run it by Mr. Iglesias. I can’t promise anything—as you say, it’s early days and he may want to wait and see how things settle before we consider making any more changes. Also, it could mean a giant headache for HR. But it’s worth sharing with the big boss. It might help if you put a list together of people you recommend.”
She hadn’t thought about that. “When would you need it?”
“As soon as possible, but no later than Friday.”
One more load on her already burdened shoulders. Nothing new there. She nodded. “I can do that.”
Nibbling vending machine cheese and crackers for lunch, she set to work. In a perfect world, rehiring almost everyone would be ideal, but in reality, wasn’t possible. She stayed at the office late Wednesday night compiling a list that included former employees with the most experience and strongest work ethic, plus several newer recruits with great potential. Finishing shortly after midnight, she delivered the list to Todd’s office. He was gone, of course. She left it on his desk.
At home, poor Mr. T had eaten the remains of his breakfast long ago and was starving. He let her know with a series of demanding meows. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’ll never, ever keep you waiting again.”
She fell into bed and slept soundly until the alarm woke her the following morning.
As of Friday, she hadn’t heard a word from Todd or the CEO. Both were as swamped as everyone else, and she guessed she wouldn’t hear anything for a while.
It was what it was. Until something changed, she’d do her best to help others survive awhile longer.