10. Chapter 10
The next morning I receive a text from Cass.
My first thought is that he’s figured it out and it’s all over.
Last night was the hottest moment of my life, but all good things do come to an end.
I just didn’t think it would be this short lived.
When I’d gotten home, still before Teddy and our other house mate Micah—he’s a dancer who surprisingly parties hard—I couldn’t bring myself to wash away what had happened.
I smelt completely of him, especially in his t-shirt that I slipped on so that he wouldn’t recognise my clothes.
Everything was a blur the moment Grace touched him on the dance floor, and luck was on my side when I found Harris’s keys in his jacket, laid on the seats we’d claimed.
I couldn’t rely on their backdoor being unlocked again.
I left the keys on their little kitchen table, so hopefully no one put two and two together, or he thought he’d lost them at the club.
I’ve only been up for an hour, but I couldn’t sleep at all waiting to see if he figured out it was me.
At one point I convinced myself I’d gone too far and was ready to call him, but he’d asked me to touch him.
He didn’t want me to take the mask off. Cass wanted me masked just as much as I wanted him.
Trying to tame my stuttering heart, I take my phone off charge and open the text notification.
Cassie: Hey Miley, hope you’re feeling ok! Sorry I didn’t say goodbye last night, I couldn’t find you in the club. Do you fancy grabbing a coffee today? I know the perfect place.
Ok, so maybe I have nothing to worry over.
I’m unable to play it cool, so I text him back immediately and start to get dressed.
Even though I didn’t want to, I did shower last night, so once I’ve buttoned up one of my smarter shirts—nicer than a coffee date requires—I brush my teeth, shove my boots on and fling myself into a cord jacket as I run out of the house.
Our student digs aren’t far from one another or the city center, but insanely one minute not in his company seems like a minute wasted.
“Hey Miley!” Cass waves me over from the cute spot he’s chosen in the bookstore.
A few years ago they renovated the upstairs into a coffee shop, and the boy is smart because it’s one of my favourite places.
Many times I’ve purchased a book downstairs and spent hours up here, fuelling my sugary drink addiction and reading.
“Hey you.” I fall into his arms as he stands to hug me, and something feels different than when we went for coffee after the gym. We linger longer, and it’s only when someone scrapes their chair back when they leave, that I reluctantly let him go. He’s grinning and I’m smiling when we both sit.
“So, again I’m really sorry I didn’t say goodbye last night. I hope you didn’t think I ditched or anything, I was having a really good time.”
I wave my hand in the air, shouldering off my brown jacket.
His eyes dash over my shirt and he almost looks appreciative.
Yeah something is definitely different now.
“Don’t worry about it, I had a really good night too.
What’s this? Did you buy a book?” I point to a paper bag with the bookstores logo stamped on it.
He blushes a deep crimson, kind of the same colour he turned when I was pumping his cock.
Stop right now you fuckhead. Do not get hard in a coffee shop!
“I…bought you something.”
“What?” He’s caught me completely off guard.
Cass laughs, sitting forward to push the bag closer to me. “I saw it and thought of you.”
Now it’s my turn to blush, and I don’t stop even after I pull out the vampire dark romance hardback and a soft plushie which is a latte cup, cuddling a pumpkin.
“You bought me a pumpkin spiced latte plushie and vampire smut?” I sound breathy.
I can’t look at him. “Cassie, this—this is so nice. Thank you. You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.”
“Why?” I finally look at him, searching those whisky eyes. His expression, whilst soft, is deadly serious.
“Like I said, gifts are my love language. I really like buying you things.”
“Does it…kinda do it for you?” I say low, but the bark of laughter he lets out, before running his fingers through his unruly curls is not quiet.
“Yeah, it kinda does. I really like taking care of people and it's incredibly satisfying knowing I put that smile there.”
He's right, I am smiling. I probably look broken with how wide it is.
Clutching the plushie to my chest, I move the wooden chair I'm sitting on closer to him, until our legs press together and I'm able to take one of his hands.
He relaxes with an audible sigh, the contact soothing him as much as it does me.
“Cassie, you sweet, sweet man. I want to ask–I mean, I need to know, what is it you want between us?”
His thumb runs across my knuckle and the small contact is heaven.
“I know we've only just met, and I've never…” he stops and I think he's considering his words.
“I've never dated a guy. But I'm not scared to and I want to–I want to date you.
If you want to! Obviously. I'd like to get to know you better.” Sitting back like he's laid it all out there, he smiles, messing up the curls on top of his head.
“I haven't been in a relationship period,” I admit, still clinging to my new comfort. “I was kind of a mess, when I came out and started experimenting. I never settled and I got messed around. I’ve dated, but it never…progressed. Taking things slow would be really, really great. If you wanted to.” There.
I put on my big boy pants and told him how I feel.
I also want to go really slow so he doesn't cut things off with masked me.
Jesus.
Am I a bad person?
I don't want to lie to Cassie, but he didn't want me to take the mask off either. Before he can say anything, I steer the conversation in a direction that will allow us to keep our anonymous bedroom time. “Have you ever done anything with a guy?”
If he really regrets last night, he won't say anything; but to my surprise he bristles, but tells the truth. “I have…recently.”
“That's great!” My voice is ridiculously high and I do remind myself that the person he's done things with is myself. I can't be jealous of myself. “As someone that's been there, it's good to explore your sexuality and find out what you like.”
Cass nods, but his eyes are wide, taking every word out of my mouth like it's his new gospel, so I continue.
“Don't feel like you need to stop doing that, if we take things slow.” Unless it's with anyone other than me.
“I had lots of casual sex before I decided I wanted something more serious.” Not a lie, but things will very soon become not casual with masked me and this version of me.
“So, yeah. I'm very interested in seeing where this goes, but don't feel like you need to give me a commitment ring or anything.” Lies, lies, lies.
If he wanted to pledge his undying exclusivity to me right now I'd take it.
He looks a little like an owl, blinking and not saying anything. Ah, shit. I've fucked this up. I grip his hand a little tighter, but before I can try to create some sort of word pit to crawl myself out of, he comes back to himself.
“What will you do?”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Will you…see other people too?”
I snort, unwillingly. “No.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “I haven't been with someone in a long time. So I'll go on as I was, just seeing you now.” Giving him a reassuring smile, I do think I've spooked him a little, even though he smiles back. This probably isn’t what he expected when he asked me to date him, but one day hopefully fucking soon it’ll all make sense. Cass didn’t want me to take the mask off which meant he enjoyed it just as much as I did, so in this twisted way, I’m preserving our little dark fantasy.
What I want to do is stand on this table and accept everything he’s willing to give me, but for now I just have to play it cool and try to keep a manageable lid on the little white fibs I need to tell.
We’re playing a game, but I won’t ever lie to him and everything will be revealed in good time.
Thankfully a waitress saves me. She puts down cups of coffee with whipped cream, and two gingerbread men. This fucking man. My heart squeezes and I clutch the plushie even harder, gazing over the coffee as she places everything on the table.
“Cassie…” I whisper as she leaves. “No one's ever done anything like this for me, before.” I have to push down a lot of emotions as I look up at him, and the heartbreakingly gorgeous smirk he gives me, does me in.
Closing the short space, I entwine my fingers into the back of his hair and crash his lips to mine.
The world stops. My heart definitely stops, my breathing too as my entire being aligns to only fit this man.
He smells like sandalwood and amber, his lips are soft but the stubble around them scratches my own cheeks in the best way.
He's still for only a second before Cass kisses me back, his lips consuming me whole.
His hand finds my jaw and he drags me into him, running his tongue over my bottom lip so I open.
Tingles shock my entire body when our tongues touch, and I don't care that we're in a coffee shop. I want to do this forever.
It feels like we've been doing this forever, maybe hours; but really it hasn't even been a minute. Cass pulls away first, but he doesn't move far and keeps his hand on my cheek. His eyes are a stormy dark brown, the amber gone.
“Miley…” he whispers and I lean in again to give him one more kiss, before sitting back fully in my chair. The coffee shop bustle continues on around us, I'm sure time resumed from this life altering moment. I know I won't ever let this beautiful man go, not without kicking and screaming.
“You're so kind. Thank you.” I clear my throat, pulling his hand down into my lap, not missing the way his eyes gleam when he looks over the drinks and my new book. I’m still holding the plushie with my other hand and I even give that a squeeze, tucking it into my lap so I can take a sip of my coffee.
Sweet pumpkin spice gods above. “This is lovely.” I tip my head to my drink and he takes a sip of his own.
“I’ve never been here before, but I had a feeling you’d love it.”
“You assumed correctly. I love it here.” Looking over the book again, I turn it over and read the blurb, then look at the fan art inside. “Did you know this is on my reading list?” I raise my eyebrow, watching his lips twist into a smirk.
“No, but I thought I wouldn’t go wrong getting you something paranormal. Did I do good?”
I laugh. “Yep. Boy did gooooood.” Taking a giant bite out of the gingerbread man, I settle into my chair and we fall into comfortable conversation.
Our legs constantly brush together as we talk, sip our coffees and I show him little details in the hardback.
My plushie sits crushed into my stomach, my hands protecting it like it’s a little kitten.
He asks me more questions about the vampire story I’m writing for my course, and I explain how it feels like a beginning, rather than just a project I’ll get marked on.
“You think you’ll continue it into a series?”
I nod, finishing the last sips of my pumpkin spice. “Yeah, I’m toying with how to end it because I have so many ideas for stand alone, but also a three part book series. My tutor said it’s my own work so I can do what I want with it—I could even try getting it published if I wanted.”
“That would be so cool if you did.”
“I know right! At the moment I’m just trying to focus on writing and acing everything I need for my course. You know, enjoy the process.” Cass squeezes my hand, and for once I feel fully supported in something I chose for myself.