Three Wise Women （Sometimes）
Sloane: So… how’s “fact-checking” in Houston going?
Olivia: What she means is… HAVE YOU TOUCHED HIM YET?
Me: Subtle, you two
Sloane: Don’t dodge. Spill. You got our hopes up once before. Don’t let us down now
Olivia: I swear if you say “it’s complicated,” I’m flying down there
Me: ...fine. We slept together
Sloane: ALL CAPS SCREAMING
Olivia: EXCUSE ME? Journalistic integrity WHERE?
Me: Gone. Buried. RIP. Do not send flowers
Sloane: Details. Now. How was it? Scale of 1 to lost my voice from screaming
Olivia: Don’t answer her. Answer me. Did he live up to the “Saint Nik” hype?
Me: If I say yes, will you both shut up?
Sloane: Absolutely not
Olivia: Never
Me: …
Sloane: You know you wanna talk about it
Me: He was wow. Like, four times wow
Olivia: YES, I knew he would be
Me: But it was fun. He was fun, he was teasing, then sincere. And good lord, he spoke to me in Greek
Sloan: STFU
Me: I don’t know what most of it was, but it was hot
Me: Am I crazy?
Olivia: No, you deserve a bit of fun, let him work you out
Sloane: Dylan never gave you wow four times
Me: No one has
Olivia: Well then, the answer is clear. Let the Greek god football star give it to you good
Me: You know he’s only 23
Olivia: Even fucking better
Me: I hate you guys
Sloane: You LOVE us. We’re your witnesses when this turns into a football royalty wedding
Olivia: Calling it now. Maid of honor duties are mine
Me: I literally just confessed to sleeping with him. Stop fast-forwarding
Sloane: Too late. We’ve already picked the colors