Chapter 28
Nik
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s closer to understanding all this than I thought. But Eva? How is my sister involved with this?
“Nik, please.” It’s two words. Two simple words, but they break me. My mother would have my head if she saw the standoffish way I was handling myself.
I’ve learned to guard myself, my thoughts, my feelings. I’ve had to. When you get comfortable, that's when things happen, people get hurt, and lies bubble to the top. I’ve given half answers and plastered on the Saint Nik persona for years, that sometimes I forget who I really am.
So, since she opened up about her start in her career, I know it’s time for me to do the same.
“Trevor saw the pattern. He knew I missed those plays on purpose because there was no way I'd ever miss them otherwise. He sat on the sidelines making comments each time I came off the field. Then they benched me, played him, and we got into it after the game in the locker room. We almost came to blows, even though everything he was saying was true.”
I let the words fall around us as we stand facing each other in my kitchen.
Everything she’s telling me, if I allow it to sink in and resonate, is becoming clearer about how fast things were cleaned up.
It never dawned on me that someone was coming behind me and cleaning it up.
At the time I felt so alone. The act was so horrendous to a squeaky-clean player like myself that I didn't think it would have gone past the few people involved.
And once the game ended and the debt was paid, my dad disappeared.
I don’t know where he went, but my sister, my mom, and I made it out unscathed, and I just had to keep this secret buried and move forward like nothing happened.
It was a bad game. Period. It’s all I’d ever say about it.
But I never got to talk to my dad about it, never got to ask questions, never got any closure.
He spent my entire childhood giving me everything he could to ensure I made it, and then he left right before I got it.
“Coach pulled us both apart, separated us in different rooms, and asked for our side. I know he told them I was playing like shit on purpose, that I was missing plays and catches. He didn’t know why, but he kept saying over and over that there was something else behind it.
I’m sure my coaches were leery; playing like shit was completely out of character for me, and whether they believed him or not, they sided with me.
I was the golden boy, so I know they believed my story. ”
“Which was?”
I pick up a small pack of candy. Turn it over, play with the wrapper.
“I blamed it on feeling sick. It was such a cowardly way out, and I knew it. Even if I had a fucking 104 fever and was throwing up in between drives, I wouldn’t have missed those routes.
But because I was what was good for the school, they sided with me.
” I sag against the counter. “They interviewed Loving and Soba. Both backed me one thousand percent. They never asked for more; even if they had doubts, they were probably afraid to incriminate themselves. The school tried to keep things quiet, tuck their tails after a loss, but the story began to form, and rumors began to spread about why we lost. They desperately tried to get ahead of the press. Someone had to take the fall, and I let it be him.”
Noelle's eyes don’t leave mine. “You let your teammate get expelled for your screw-up.”
I nod slowly, letting the words I just spoke out loud linger, and for some reason, wanting to tell more.
“A few days later, the athletic department put out a press release that Trevor was caught buying term papers, and then blamed the team’s loss on inner turmoil resulting from the accusations.
They said Trevor was jealous and wanted to be first string, so he also paid other teammates to make me look sloppy.
Those same routes I missed? They spun it to make it seem that the other players weren’t executing the plays correctly.
I don’t know how it happened, but those accusations were made public, and I let them do it.
I knew he wasn't guilty of anything, but because I was desperate to stay safe, I let myself believe everything they put out about him. It happened fast. One minute, rumors were swirling about all kinds of things, and the next? Dead silence. Trevor was gone, and the game just continued.”
Eva sat with me at the closed hearing with the coaches. She did most of the talking, supplying facts about Trevor not even I knew. She brought Rhett into it, saying he was altering stats in the playbook. It was never proven, but the doubt was established, so it only added to the fall of Trevor.
EP INC.
I bury those thoughts and toss the candy pack down.
“I was scared. I told myself I’d fix it.
Once I made it, once I had power, I’d pay him back.
Get him hired somewhere. I thought…” I shake my head, face in my hands, words lingering.
“I thought I could balance it out. If I continued to do good, charity, and mentorship, and presented a clean image, it would mean something. That it would cancel out the lie.”
She’s listening intently.
“By the time I had the platform to make it right,” I say, “the machine was already moving. The Warriors had their star rookie. Saint Nik. If this got out...”
“It all burns.” Noelle finishes it for me. “Does Trevor know the real reason you did it?”
I shake my head. “I was too embarrassed. And too scared to tell the truth. If I told the coaches, they’d go to the cops, and I knew that would be signing a death warrant. You don’t mess with these types of people.”
“You are these types of people.”
My heart races again. “You need to stop saying that. I did what I had to do.”
“But you stayed.”
“I owed Dante. You asked how I knew him. He was my dad’s bookie, the kingpin, if you will.
He had a presence established in Philadelphia.
He bailed me out the first time by paying my way to college, but I had to work for him.
When dad did it with another crew? I went to Dante; I had nowhere to turn.
He promised he’d clean it up.” I look down.
“I didn’t know it meant I’d be changing the face of the game. ”
“Throwing the game turned the bets upside down,” she says.
I nod. “We were supposed to blow them out, then go on and win the championship. There was so much money riding on it. So what better way to make it quick and save someone? They had my dad bet against my team; the odds were insane. And when I lost the game, he won. His slate was wiped clean.”
She’s looking at me with the exact eyes I hate. The pity, the disappointment. The look of every reason I buried this lie as fast as I could.
“Where’s your dad now?” she asks.
I shrug. “Not a clue. After the game, I never saw him again.” I shake my head, the emotion overcoming me. I choke it back. “I did it for nothing since he left anyway.”
“And how did Dante end up here in Mistletoe Falls with you?”
“I think he was expecting blowback and wanted to stay close. He moved here, opened up a couple of other businesses, and then we opened Club Trick together. Dante has ended up being the number one person I can count on. That's why I’ll never leave him.”
Quietly, she says, “I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say.”
I let out a huge breath, not sure how I’m feeling right yet.
“There’s your story. You were right from the start.
I’m not perfect; I'm the furthest thing from it. I lied to my friends, I ruined their season, and I lied to the school and the coaches. I let them blame someone else. My family knew nothing. Eva and my mom never knew how close to danger they were.”
She moves closer to me. “I didn’t want to be right, Nik.
I’m not looking to bury you; I just felt there was more to it.
And there is.” She whispers, “You’re this perfect guy to the world, fucking Saint Nik for crying out loud, but there’s so much more.
I’m just trying to understand it all.” She swallows hard.
“Mostly, I’m just trying to understand why you affect me like you do. ”
I open my eyes and meet hers. There’s no judgment there; just something dangerous brewing between us. Something I don’t know how to hold onto.
“I don’t know what this is,” I rasp. “Or what you want from me.”
“Neither do I,” she breathes. “But I’m still here.
We’re in this together. And if my asking questions brought this back to life, then I'm not going anywhere until it's solved. It’s not about the story anymore. I want to figure this out because something is tying us together.” She’s so close now, I can smell the sugar on her skin.
“There’s more here, Nik. Let me help before it buries you. ”
Her words wrap around me, and the restraint I’ve been choking on since coming back from Houston?
Gone. It’s only been twenty-four hours since I was last touching her, but it feels like twenty-four thousand.
I need her. If someone is after me, wanting me to correct my lies, or take the fall for it, and she’s willing to stand by me, then I’ll take that risk every day.
I crush my mouth to hers. She gasps into the kiss, and I swallow it down. My hands slide to her hips, gripping her like she’s the only steady thing holding me in this whole goddamn universe.
She kisses me back with everything she’s got. There’s no hesitation; it’s wild and messy, tangled tongues and low, broken sounds. Her hands search my skin, every touch like a live wire.
I spin her and lift her, fuck, she’s so warm, and set her on the counter like she belongs there. Her legs wrap around me instantly, tight and demanding. She grinds against me, moaning into my mouth like she knows exactly what she’s doing to me, and wants it done to her, too.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I groan against her neck, dragging my lips down her throat. “You don’t even know.”