27
____________________
After a very pitiful wash composing mostly of an abrasive rag and too-cold water, followed by having to tuck myself into Cluaineach clothes – that airy, soft, silky material that sometimes felt too revealing – I was already too tired to try and endure a dinner with the rowdiest of pixies Saoghal had to offer.
~
I crept into the dining hall while Aisling and Shea took turns throwing things across the table, all of which was in an attempt to hit Killian as he ducked and growled in response.
Liam, who I now recognized and sat a little farther down the table, was laughing at their antics all while Ciara, who sat across from him, shook her head and rolled her eyes over and over.
But I could always count on one person who would note my arrival, even if the world was burning behind him and he was collapsing into the chaos of it all.
A pair of electrifying-green eyes snapped up from where they had been watching the rest, honing in on me almost immediately and making me grumble in defeat.
As I made the last few steps towards the table, I watched Raegan’s nostrils flare subtly, then he sighed and relaxed into his chair, his eyes pointing to the spare one that would yet again lodge me between him and Killian. With a huff, I walked farther down the table and took the seat next to Liam.
“Oh!” Liam exclaimed as I dragged the wooden contraption out and sat myself down in it. “I did not expect you to sit with me.”
The way he swallowed and sheepishly looked towards Raegan suggested that he didn’t want me sitting here, if it meant we earned the full extent of the King’s attention.
But I didn’t care, I couldn’t sit in his vicinity and wonder if I smelled too much like Killian or too little like Raegan.
So yes, I was using Liam as a diversion, but I also found I didn’t care much about that, either.
I didn’t really care about anything. Which wasn’t a great sign.
“Do tell us, Killian!” Aisling suddenly roared from where she sat, at least six bodies down from me. I tried with what little willpower I had not to listen in to their conversation, but my curiosity got the better of me and I leaned forward to see them better.
“It was good. Queen Tonn was incredibly hospitable, though I assume we have Olivia to thank for that.”
I wanted to shake my head at Killian because now every pair of eyes was on me. Including Raegan’s, which was complete with his infamous smirk that I wanted to wipe off of his face.
“I trust you gave her the necklace?”
The tone he used to ask such a simple question sent a shiver right along my spine that began in my hairline and spread out amongst every bone that would take it. It was Raegan, but the Raegan that reminded me of Killian’s warnings, of Rory’s reminders.
“Yes.” I shut my mouth so quickly after speaking that I nearly bit my tongue off. Only to realize I had more to say. “Why? Is it going to choke her in her sleep, or something?”
Shea spat out her drink, which if my nose was any good at identifying smells seemed to be nectar. Killian snarled as he wiped the many droplets off of his face.
Raegan kept his eyes on me, the pointed, fox-like shape that both thrilled and terrified me. “Or something.”
“That’s not funny, Raegan,” Shea warned. “We have enough turmoil within Saoghal without you two throwing around death-threats about the Queen of Uisge over dinner.”
Raegan shrugged, one corner of his mouth held up. I did what I assumed only pixies could do, and bared my teeth at him. Now that humoured the King, his face creasing against his eyes.
I never thought that the simple grooves in one’s skin could be so intriguing. As I came to know his face in a new way, a far more intimate way, I knew which lines came and went.
“It was a genuine question. I struggle to believe that Raegan offered the necklace out of the goodness of his heart.”
Only the brief twitch of his left eye gave me any indication as to if I hurt his feelings or not. I relished in the fact that I had frustrated him to the same level that he had frustrated me. Except he handled these things with far more grace than I did, and simply grinned at me.
“I happen to be very generous.” Then his eyes narrowed in a way that made me home in on his words, his voice, his lips. His intention. Because his voice turned into something sultry and smooth as he purred, “I simply enjoy nothing more than to give, give, give…”
It was Killian’s turn to choke, this time on what I was sure was a piece of celery. Shea ducked out of the way of the weaponized shrapnel of green things. All I could do was growl under my breath.
How Raegan was able to continue to stare at me, as if we were the only two people in the world and he intended on keeping it that way, I would never know.
I was eerily aware of every pair of eyes and every pair of ears as he started to saunter his way into that natural charisma of his, that edge that bordered flirting if pixies did such a thing.
“I am inclined to not believe you,” I grumbled, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. Even with Liam’s head in the way – though he tried his hardest to shrink himself into nothing but a puddle – Raegan still seemed to be able to stare at me.
“Would you like me to show you, Olivia?”
No one choked this time, instead it was much worse as a damning sort of silence befell us all.
I wasn’t even sure what we were talking about anymore, only that I wanted to argue with him.
I wanted to shout and scream and holler my frustration at the King, and I was only able to do that with this strange disagreement about Queen Tonn. And necklaces, I think. Generosity?
“Are you two done?” Shea finally snapped, which I was eternally grateful for. “This is great and all, that Queen Tonn admitted Olivia into her kingdom and took the necklace, but what good does it do for us? What good does it do for Saoghal?”
Raegan motioned for Killian to take the floor, and he did. “Queen Tonn has agreed to meet with Raegan. For Imbolc. We will host the party, she will be our guest of honour, and Raegan will have the chance to smooth things over with her.”
Raegan was still staring at me. And the look on his face suggested he did not plan on doing that with Queen Tonn. Though I wasn’t sure how everyone else was incapable of seeing that.
“And then what?”
Raegan finally blinked away from me and frowned at Shea. “What do you mean, and then what? What more would you have me do, Shea? Would you like me to fix Saoghal in the span of a single day? Please, if you have ideas, do not hold back.”
I never thought I would see the day that Shea, piss-and-vinegar Shea, would recoil from someone’s words. But she did, and then her head hung and she remained quiet.
“And then–” Killian sighed at his King’s short temper. “Then, we will, with Queen Tonn’s help, appeal to King Nevan of Speur. And at last, Saoghal will be back to peace, and the reign of the three will endure.”
Another pinch of Raegan’s eyes. Another shudder of uncertainty through me.
I hated that I had come to understand his tiniest movements. And in a way that it seemed no one else did.
“And if we fail?” To everyone’s surprise, that was Aisling. She asked, then immediately tucked some of her bubble-gum-pink hair behind her ear and blushed an even brighter colour that her slightly-tinting skin was.
“Well, about that,” Killian grunted, shooting me a nervous look. I was more nervous about the look Raegan shot him. “Queen Tonn made a… suggestive threat.”
Raegan’s hand tightened around the goblet before him, while Shea picked up her fork as if she planned to stab someone with it.
“Suggestive threat?” Aisling repeated, somewhat confused.
Killian turned completely to Raegan and dropped his voice to what I could only equate with attempting to soothe a quick-to-anger King. “She intends for allegiances with others.”
Raegan did not look surprised by this. If anything, he was simply contemplative as his darkened brows set against his eyes. “Did you get an inclination as to which others?”
“I know that she has found herself a sea-dragon.”
Raegan’s expression was completely locked, allowing for no tiny flicks, twitches, or flinches. But I somehow felt how he felt, my chest tightening and my throat thickening.
“If I had to guess, I would say we should prepare for Water Spirits. Selkies, too. But I am most concerned that they might find a common cause with the Merrows, once and for all.”
Everyone took a sharp breath, excluding me as I simply stared with no understanding what any of that meant.
Raegan leaned forward, both of his elbows on the table, his chin braced atop them. “Think about that, Killian. What would the fair folk of the sea benefit from in siding with Queen Tonn?”
Silence was dominant as we all watched Raegan, everyone’s bodies stiff and prepared to flee.
“What you should be asking yourself is what could the King of Talamh offer the sea-faring folk, if it came down to a fight of kingdoms?”
My eyes blew wide and my jaw hinged without thought. As did everyone else's.
“You don’t mean…” Shea trailed off, her head shaking. “You wouldn’t. No, you wouldn’t, Raegan.”
For once, Raegan could not meet my eyes, but looked at everyone else.
“Queen Tonn of Uisge makes allies of our enemies. Of the Aos Sí and the Elves and the Gnomes. Of those who for so long have wanted Saoghal if only to rid us of our land and for no other reason.” Raegan rose, his back unfurling, his power prominent and pulsing across the room.
“So I sought out new relationships, too. It is up to Queen Tonn, now, as to whether either of us needs to call in those pending deals.”
I was looking at a king and not Raegan, my eyes still wide, the moisture sucked from them as I feared to blink.
Rory had been wrong in doubting Raegan’s paranoia – Raegan was as he had always been.
He was calculated with his moves and he took that fear and panic that looked prepared to drown him and he had crafted something of it.
Something sharper, fiercer, and far more wicked than any of his previous iterations.
It was all there, in the way his eyes were no longer green but some colour of a bleeding forest.
Shea, for all of her previous flinching and avoiding of enraging Raegan, shook her head. “When does it end, Raegan? How much blood will need to be spilled for this so-called peace to take place?”
With a defeated sigh, Raegan sank back into his chair and rolled his eyes. “What is the alternative? Would you like me to surrender Choilltean and Cluaineach to them? What then?”
I knew the answer – they want Raegan dead. It was that simple. Raegan would die and Saoghal would resume.
As much as I loved the pixies, as much as I loved Saoghal, as much as I loved Choilltean and Cluaineach, I would not settle for such an outcome. If losing Raegan meant saving Saoghal, some growing part of me wanted to wish them all luck and whisk him away where they could not find him.
It wasn’t me. I would never wish harm on another. I would never wish for the rise and fall of Saoghal. Yet the thought of handing him over, the thought of watching them take him from me – it boiled something vicious and vile within that was prepared to destroy all who suggested it.
So much so that, fists clenched, I shot upright from where I had been sitting.
The silence that had stretched because of Raegan transferred to me as all eyes pivoted their attention.
The whole room was left to watch as I turned on my heel and stormed out of the dining hall, overflowing and near combustion with so much confusion that all I could do was run away from it all.