31. Chapter 31
Chapter 31
Nate
A dalie and Dani have been upstairs for a while, and I’ve stopped myself from going to check on her at least a dozen times. I’ve been so distracted by her presence that Taylor had to take over dinner, forcing me to take his seat at the island, which means I’ll be doing dishes tonight.
“What is she doing here?” I say, staring at the stairs, not really looking for an answer, but Taylor gives me one, anyway.
“I told her to come if she wants to.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because. She wants to teach Dani. You want her to teach Dani. Dani wants her to teach Dani. Fuck, man. It just makes sense. Her relationship with your daughter doesn’t need to end because you think her relationship with you has.”
“Hasn’t it?” I ask.
“I don’t know, Nate. Have you talked to her about it?”
“She hasn’t called me.”
He rolls his eyes really hard. “Why would she call you? Have you called her ?”
“I figured she wouldn’t want to hear from me.” I scrub a hand over my face. “I don’t know. Mom and Dad made their relationship look so easy. They never fought.”
He looks at me like I’m the world’s biggest moron. “Of course they did. They just tried not to let us see it. All couples fight, Nate. So you need to ask yourself if it’s worth resolving the issue or not.”
I hear footsteps and chatter on the stairs as Dani and Adalie come down, letting me off the hook from responding to my brother.
“Can I walk Adalie to her car, Dad?” Dani asks.
It’s something I’ve done every time Adalie has come over. When we started dating, it gave us a few minutes alone before she left. It also usually happens after she’s stayed for dinner. Though, I don’t know why I assumed she would tonight. She doesn’t want to see me. She came to see my daughter.
I nod and stand, intending to keep an eye on Dani from the door, but also really wanting to be close to Adalie for a minute.
She watches me with her wide green eyes, looking uncertain. I hate that she looks at me like that. I want that smile back, the one that made me feel like I’ve done everything right instead of everything wrong.
When we’re outside, Dani carries Adalie’s things to the car while Adalie pulls her boots on, pressing the button to pop the trunk.
“Set it all in there, Dani,” she calls. “Thank you.”
When she straightens, I clear my throat, and she looks up at me.
“So, um. Should I start paying you for these lessons?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I don’t need your money, Nate.”
“I know. It’s just. We had a deal. And I don’t think you need me anymore for that, so…” I trail off. I’m making things worse. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Teaching Dani stopped being about the deal a long time ago.” She wraps her arms around her middle. “I’m doing it now because I want to.”
“Right.”
We stand there, awkwardly as Dani comes back from the car.
“Was there anything else?” Adalie asks.
I think about all the things I said in Whistler, how much of it was completely the opposite of how I was really feeling. How do I explain to her that I don’t know what I’m doing here? I don’t know how to fix this, but I want to. I’ve never been good with words and they fail me now as they’ve failed me before.
“I guess not. See you later, then.”
She nods and as she turns away from me, she offers my daughter the smile that I want. I watch as Dani hugs Adalie, then as Adalie lets go and walks to her little purple car, waving before she gets in and drives away.
I lead Dani back inside and tell her to wash up for dinner, then sit at the island again where Taylor is shaking his head.
“What?” I say.
“Nothing. Just looking at the world’s dumbest man.”
“She didn’t want me to walk her to her car. She didn’t say anything to me the whole time she was here.”
He slaps a hand on his forehead. “You didn’t talk to her either!” He closes his eyes in a bid for patience. When he opens them again, he looks kind of angry. “You sure are making a lot of assumptions without actually talking to the woman.”
Then Dani comes back, and we set the table and sit down to eat. After we talk about our favourite parts of the day, I think everything is finally calmed down. Until my daughter looks at me, a determined set to her jaw.
“Why did you break up with Adalie?” Dani asks, and I literally choke on my food.
After I’m done coughing, I say, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you didn’t say anything to her, and you didn’t walk her to her car. She didn’t stay for dinner. Why did you break up?”
“Who said we were together?” I cast a look at my brother who shrugs.
“I told you to tell her,” he says.
Dani rolls her eyes. “I saw you kissing her. When you walk her to her car, I would look out the window.” She points upstairs and I know she means the window in the spare bedroom that looks over the front yard.
“You sneaky little spy,” I say, but there’s no heat to my words. More like admiration.
She looks at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.
I sigh. “Adult stuff is complicated, pipsqueak.”
“What’s so complicated? You love her. She loves you. She should be staying for dinner.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t—She—” But I can’t tell her she’s right about me being in love with Adalie or that she’s wrong about Adalie being in love with me. I can’t tell her I want Adalie to stay for dinner. Or forever. Because I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me, and I can’t give Dani hope if I don’t have any myself.
I clear my throat. “Dani. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. But she’ll always be welcome here if you want her to come for your lessons.”
It’ll tear my heart out to see her every two weeks, but for Dani, I’ll never stop Adalie from coming. And maybe I want to see her again, keep seeing her, even if she never says another word to me.
Dani snorts. “I’m done eating. Can I go and finish my sketch?”
I agree and watch my daughter climb the stairs. Taylor stands.
“I’m going home,” he says. “Since I don’t need to do the dishes. I’m going to say good night to Dani.”
I stand as well, bringing the first plates into the kitchen.
“Nate?” Taylor says before he goes upstairs. “She’s not going to wait forever.”
He doesn’t wait for me to respond. Just leaves me with a warning I don’t know what to do with.