33. Chapter 33
Chapter 33
Nate
I almost called Adalie last night. She was supposed to go to her parents’ house yesterday and I want to know how it went. She would have gone by herself, and they were probably horrible. I hadn’t called her. She said she didn’t need anything from me, and if I’m honest, I know that. She’s so strong on her own, whether she believes it of herself or not.
I get home from work and sit in the family room dejectedly. I hate Mondays when Dani goes back to Katie’s house. But when my daughter comes inside, followed by her mother, I manage to pull up a smile, hiding my melodramatic feelings.
“Hey, pipsqueak. You got everything you need?” I ask.
“It’s all ready,” she says, skipping over to give me a hug. “I’ll go up and get it.”
“Actually,” Katie says. “Can I have a minute to talk to you both?”
I blink, confused, and suddenly a little scared. But surely, if she’s about to say something big—like moving away, my biggest fear—she’d have talked to me before talking to Dani.
We sit in the family room, Dani next to me on the couch, while Katie takes the chair.
“I wanted to give you guys some exciting news,” Katie says, and she looks so happy. But my heart is racing in my chest. “In about six months, Dani is going to become a big sister.”
Dani turns to me, eyes wide. Her hands fly to her face to cover her mouth. She turns back to Katie.
“Really?” she whispers.
Katie nods, grinning so big and holding out her arms for Dani to run into, which she does. They hug for a long moment, and I take the time to breathe through my relief. She’s not moving away. She’s just having a baby with David.
“Okay, angel,” Katie says after a minute. “Go get your things and we’ll get going.”
Dani turns to me first, looking so excited. “I’m going to be a big sister,” she says, bouncing on her toes before squeezing me in a hug. That image of the little girl I keep having pops into my head. This time, Dani is holding her, the little girl’s curly red hair contrasting with Dani’s dark strands. A lump forms in my throat as I consider how much I want that image to come true.
It’s such a ridiculous fantasy. We’d never talked about children before. We hadn’t even told Dani we were dating, regardless that she apparently knew from the beginning.
Dani lets me go and rushes upstairs to gather the things she likes to have at both houses.
When she’s gone, Katie says, “This won’t change anything here. I just wanted to let you know and didn’t want Dani to tell you. So David and I discussed it and decided I’d tell you both at the same time.”
“I’m really happy for you, Katie. I know you’ve wanted this for a while.”
She nods, her lips pressed together to contain her smile.
I take a breath. “I admit, I was a little nervous it was going to be something else.”
“Like what?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Nate,” she says, her tone exasperated.
“I guess I’m always a little worried you and David might want to move away.”
She rolls her eyes. “You know I’d never do that without having a very long discussion with you first. Dani’s well-being is important to me and David. We agree that the best thing for her is to stay close to you. You’re an excellent dad, Nate. Yeah, it’s hard only having her half the time, but I’m glad she has you.”
I offer her a smile, though it feels a little sad. “I know what you mean about only having her half the time. Mondays, when she goes with you, are the hardest. Or they were before—”
I cut off. Before I started talking to Adalie at night. We hadn’t even started seeing each other yet, but those phone calls helped me so much, knowing she’s there on the other end of the line.
Tonight is going to be hard without either of them. If only I hadn’t panicked, saying a bunch of things not only did I not mean, but were simply not true. If only I hadn’t hurt her. But she said it herself. I’ve already been hurt by enough people who I love. I don’t want you to become another.
“Shit,” I say as those words play in my mind again. I’d been so focused on the last thing she’d said, how she didn’t need anything from me, I’d completely glossed over the fact that she’d basically told me she loves me.
“What’s wrong?” Katie asks.
“I just realized something.” I stand and Katie does as well. “I have to make a phone call.”
Dani comes back downstairs and looks at us, standing.
“Dad?” she says.
“I need to call Adalie,” I tell her.
She rolls her eyes. “Obviously.” She comes and gives me a hug. Then she picks up her things and they head out.
As soon as they’re gone, I grab my phone, selecting Adalie’s contact information and placing the call. It rings for a moment and I pace my house until a man answers.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Nate Sinclair.”
“Derek? Why are you answering Adalie’s phone? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. She’s been having a little issue lately where she’s checking her phone every three seconds, waiting for someone … to call.”
I wince.
He continues. “So she’s been giving her phone to one of us when she hangs out so she can be more present. It was my turn today. Imagine my delight when you call while she’s upstairs and I’m down here, so I can talk to you on my own. If I remember correctly, you swore on your motorcycle that you weren’t going to hurt my best friend.”
“I’m trying to fix it. Can you give her the phone?”
“No.”
I blink in surprise. I hadn’t expected him to say no. “Excuse me?”
“Listen. I know she wants to forgive you. But it’s been a week, Nate. That kind of thing warrants more than just a phone call. I’m thinking in person, maybe a little light groveling. What do you think?”
I groan, rubbing a hand over my face. “Where is she?”
“It’s the last Monday of the month. Where do you think she is?”
The last Monday of each month, she goes to Derek’s house with her friends, to play board games, of all things.
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Text me when you get here. We’re upstairs on the deck. I’ll come down and let you in.”
He hangs up without saying goodbye, and I head out to the car. I consider driving directly to Derek’s house, but he’s right. It’s been a week. She’s been waiting for me to get my head out of my ass this whole time. She even came to my house, and I didn’t do anything to apologize. She’s well within her rights to tell me to fuck off.
I can’t show up empty-handed, so I stop at Granville Island. I usually hate going to Granville Island, especially if I’m in the car. It’s busy and there’s never anywhere to park, but I can get everything I need from the Public Market. I rush through the crowds to the three different vendors. Each of them has exactly what I want, so I buy the gifts and drive to Derek’s house, parking outside. I send him a text and he meets me at the door, smiling when he sees the things I’ve brought.
“Good start,” he says.
I scowl. “Where is she?”
“Upstairs. Come on.”
I follow him up two flights of stairs to his rooftop deck. The sun is shining brightly, and there she is, in a pretty purple dress, a sun hat on her head with a purple ribbon that matches her dress exactly.
“Nate?” she says, standing. “What are you doing here?”
I feel the pressure of everyone’s eyes on me. I’ve always hated crowds, even though this one only consists of seven people, including Adalie. That’s six people too many.
“Do we have to do this here?” I ask, casting a look around. There’s Derek and his fiancée, Ava, and her sister, Lacey. Then there’s Spencer, Lis, and Vic. All Adalie’s friends. All looking at me expectantly. When I return my attention to Adalie, she’s standing with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, seeming one second away from tapping her foot impatiently.
“Fine.” I take a breath. How was I going to do this? I had this whole speech mapped out on the drive over, but now my mind is completely blank. Everyone is still staring, including Adalie, her friends rallied around her, to protect her. From me.
“I brought you these,” I say, handing her a bouquet of purple and white flowers. “You said you don’t have a favourite flower, but your favourite colour is purple.”
She takes them from me without saying anything.
“But everyone brings flowers when they want to apologize. So I also brought you this.” I hand her the small bag from Granville Island Tea Company. “It’s Cream of Earl Grey. Your… favourite. And this.” I hand her the small box from Stuart’s Bakery. “It’s a strawberry shortcake.”
“How did you…” She looks from the single-serving cake back to me.
“You mentioned it. On your birthday. Lis made your favourite. Strawberry shortcake.”
“But that was five months ago. In March,” she says.
“I know. I don’t imagine this is as good as Lis’ cake, but I can’t bake. So. The thing is, I want to apologize. I was an idiot, and I said a bunch of things I didn’t really mean and aren’t even true. I do want kids. I was just scared. Scared of having another situation like the one with Dani, where I have no control over what Katie and David do. Scared to only get to see my kid every other week. And yes, it’s a risk. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take. With you.” I shake my head. “Not right now. I mean. Fuck, I’m bad at this.”
She doesn’t contradict me.
I take a second to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m in love with you, Adalie. Probably have been since your birthday, when I offered you that ride home and you came with me. Even though you’d never ridden on a motorcycle before. Even though you were nervous. You were ready to try it. You’re ready to try anything. You’re so brave. Way braver than me. And this past week, I’ve come to realize, a life without you isn’t a life I want.”
I pause, but she still doesn’t speak. No one does, so we stand there in the quiet of Derek’s rooftop garden. Only the sound of cars and birds breaking the silence.
“I understand if you can’t forgive me. I just want you to know I love you, exactly as you are. And I’m sorry.”
She still doesn’t say anything, so I nod, then turn and walk away. I get all the way to the door at the top of the stairs, all hope that she might give me another chance fading away as I take the first step down.
“Nate,” she calls.
I freeze. My hand on the railing as hope floods me. I turn. She’s handed the gifts to Lis and taken a step forward.
“Get back here,” she says.
I don’t make her tell me twice. I’m across the roof fast, scooping her against me. Then I claim her lips. Her arms wrap tightly around my neck, like she won’t ever let me go, and I don’t want her to.
We break the kiss to the sound of applause from her friends. Adalie’s cheeks flush that gorgeous pink, and she shoots them all a glare that’s completely undone by the blush.
“Shut up, you guys.”
Derek sits, pulling Ava down onto his lap. “Hey. You clapped for me and Ava when we made up. It’s only fair.”
Adalie takes my hand and leads me to a couch where we sit together, my arm around her shoulders, and her snuggled into my side. She looks up at me with that smile, a sparkle in her eyes.
“You are so over the top,” she tells me. “All you had to do was say sorry.”
“I’ll always go over the top for you, princess. I can’t promise not to make any more mistakes, but I can promise to apologize faster next time.”
I dip my head to catch her lips again, needing to feel that smile pressed against me.
“Hey!” Lis shouts, causing me to break the kiss. “The rule goes for you guys, too. If we can’t make out,” she gestures between her and Spencer, “and they can’t make out,” she points to Derek and Ava, “neither can you.”
Adalie laughs, then looks at me again. “We were thinking of a game and dinner,” she tells me.
The conversation resumes, something about the number of people limiting what games they can play. I don’t pay attention. I’ll do whatever. As long as Adalie is next to me.