21. Will
CHAPTER 21
WILL
“ I know, Huey, you’re right,” I say, pressing my phone against my ear as I look down at the mess of wires from the old fence I just cut down at Falling Oaks Farm. “I’m sorry, but since we’re in the playoffs, I haven’t had a single damn moment… You’re right… Okay, yeah… Okay, see you then.”
I shake my head as I hang up, rolling my eyes at Huey’s insistence on making sure that I’m taking care of myself. We normally grab a beer a couple times a month, but over the last few weeks, pretty much every moment has been spent in my office or on the football field. I know I need to chill, but I really think we’ve got a shot at state this year, and I’ve become pretty focused on that.
But here you are working on Hannah’s fence in the damn dark instead of watching film or doing any of the shit I need to do around the apartment I share with Seth , my subconscious reminds me, and as much as I want to ignore it, I know it’s true. Ever since I found that stack of bills a few weeks ago, she’s been on my mind even more than normal. I’ve told myself it’s just because I care about the farm and her grandfather, but I know that’s not the truth. It’s really not about the money at all. It just makes me angry to think of her struggling with all of that on her own.
Which is how I’d ended up on the phone with the billing department for the nursing home and covering the costs of Arthur’s stay for the next two months. Part of me still wondered what I’d been thinking, but I pushed it aside, knowing it was the right decision, despite making the nurse promise not to tell anyone what I’d done.
Turning back to the fence, I blow out a breath as I grimace at the mess I managed to make before my phone rang. Seth and Theo both had other plans tonight, so I came by myself, telling myself that I needed to help get some of the project knocked out. But if I’m honest, I think I came here because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Hannah. Since that summer, she hasn’t been far from my mind, but over the last few weeks, this shit’s gotten out of control, and I feel like a man obsessed. But really, the joke’s on me because when I went to grab the materials from the barn, I realized she wasn’t even home, and now I feel like an even bigger idiot than before.
Shaking my head to remind myself to get back to work, I grab the new fencing and hold it up, trying to maneuver the heavy wire roll by myself. Fuck, I did not think this shit through at all. After a few minutes, I’m cursing and ready to say fuck it, but I know I can’t leave this huge damn hole in the fence so I’ve got to figure something out.
I’m debating calling Huey back to see if he can ride over and help me when I see a pair of headlights pull down the driveway. Between the glow of my headlights I’m using to give me enough light to fix the fence and the ones coming down the drive, I can’t see the car, but I know no one else should be coming this way, so I throw my arm up, waving Hannah down. Her car slows to a stop, and she steps out of the car, squinting in my direction.
“Will? What the heck are you doing?” she asks, walking toward me and reaching out to help me hold the awkward roll of wire.
“Um, did you forget we’re redoing your entire fence, Han?” I ask, leaning down and attaching the new wire to the post.
“Of course I didn’t. God, you’re such a smart ass. I meant why are you out here by yourself in the dark? I mean, I’m not complaining…but this fence is decades old, an extra day or two isn’t gonna hurt it,” she says, moving to help me stretch the roll so it’s easier to attach.
“Just thought I’d get some of this knocked out,” I mumble, trying to change the topic. We work in comfortable silence for a few moments, until I try to move around her the way I need to, and I catch a whiff of her familiar vanilla scent. Suddenly, the fence is the last thing on my mind and all I can think about is pressing her hot skin against me. She moves closer, trying to make sure the wire is straight, and her mouth hovers close enough to mine that I feel her breath against my cheek.
I shift, without even thinking, until our mouths are centimeters away from each other, and we both freeze, waiting to see if either of us will breach the short distance. We stay like that for a long moment, and just when I’m about to say fuck it, I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye. Both of us turn to see one of the cows walking over, inspecting the work we’re doing. It’s nothing out of the norm around here, but it’s enough to ruin the moment we’re having and I want to growl in frustration.
“Hey, Cletus,” Hannah coos, reaching out and patting the bull’s head. “Buddy, whatcha doing, huh?” She steps closer and wraps her arms around the animal’s neck, and I have the fleeting thought that I’m really fucking losing it because I’m jealous that a cow’s getting her attention rather than me.
“Jesus, Hannah. You do realize that these aren’t little pets. That bull weighs over three thousand pounds, and you just dote on him like he couldn’t trample you in a fucking second,” I sneer, sounding much more annoyed than I intended.
“Will, I swear. You act like I don’t know how to run this place. Newsflash, I can. Spending a few weeks here that summer doesn’t mean you know every damn thing. I don’t need your help for fucking everything,” she growls, and we both stop because it’s the first time either of us has referenced anything that happened that summer since the night she tore it all to shit in my truck.
We stare at each other for a moment, and I think she’s going to finally acknowledge the way we used to be but instead, she just turns back to the bull. “Plus, Cletus would never hurt me, would you baby? No, you know you’re my favorite, don’t you? I know, but don’t tell the others I said that.”
Turning my back to her, I make quick work of finishing up the section of fence line I tore down earlier and throw all the tools in the bucket they were stored in. There’s really no reason for me to still be standing here, but I can’t force myself to leave. Between visiting her in her room at school today and now, this is the first time in years we’ve been alone, and I can’t ignore the desire I have to try to force her to talk to me. This secret between us has been like a cancer, spreading through our lives and keeping us both from moving on. I open my mouth, trying to decide what to say, but just before I start, her phone rings.
She steps back from where she was still petting Cletus and answers. “Hey, Caroline. The paper with the new counts for those stunts? Yeah, it’s in my backpack from practice. Let me grab it.”
And just like that, she walks away, barely throwing a hand up in my direction as she heads to the house. Shaking my head, I grab my tools and throw them in the truck, pausing when I realize the spot in the driveway looks familiar. I push down the pang in my chest as I stare at the place that used to be ours, before turning and slamming the tailgate closed in frustration.
God, how the hell did we fuck this up so bad?