27. Hazel
Jiminy Cricket! Gran was going rogue. “What are you doing?” I asked her.
With a sly twinkle in her eye, she gently pushed me to sit in the chair next to her. “It’s time for us to have a heart to heart.” She pointed to the seat on the other side of her.
Jareth flashed Gran a smile. One that would’ve charmed anyone else, but not her. She had a consummate liar and cheat for a son and could spot them a mile away.
“We brought your presents.” I shook the bag I’d been holding.
“Hush, Hazel. It’s been my job for the last twenty years to keep you safe and I’ll continue to do so for as long as I live.” Tears pricked my eyes. Gran made it her mission to be the best mother and father to me. And she’d done an amazing job. She didn’t have to keep me, or give up the life she’d built for herself after raising my dad, but she did and for that I’d do as she asked. And be forever grateful.
And I was curious to see what Jareth’s answers would be to her questions.
Jareth sat in the required seat, back straight, eyes directly meeting Gran’s. “Amie, it’s nice to see you again.”
“I’ll decide if I feel the same once we’re done here,” Gran retorted, keeping the upper hand.
Sweat beaded my brow. I wanted so badly for the two of them to get along. The abundance of hope I’d walked through the door with took a nosedive. Gran already sounded like she wasn’t thrilled with my relationship with Jareth.
“What do you love most about my Hazel?”
I about swallowed my tongue when she said the “L” word. Jareth and I were not at that stage just yet. She was going to scare him off.
“She is everything I’m not.” Jareth glanced at me. “She brings sunshine not just to my day but everyone who interacts with her. Hazel is kind and thoughtful and most of all, she calls me on my shit.”
Gran frowned at Jareth’s use of swearing.
“I’m sorry. Stuff,” Jareth said, immediately recognizing what she was silently saying. I was shocked to see him acquiesce to my grandmother’s desire for no swearing.
“Why, after all this time, have you decided to pursue her?”
Shut the front door!I wondered how close to the truth he’d get.
“How do you know I didn’t pursue him?” I muttered under my breath.
Clearly, I wasn’t quiet enough, Gran raised an eyebrow. She’d known about my unrequited crush. The only way Jareth and I’d have gotten together was if he’d made the first move.
“Honestly, I likely would have continued the way we were forever, even though looking back now I can see I was attracted to her.”
Gran snorted. “Son, you were the only one who didn’t see it.”
I hadn’t either, but I knew better than to interrupt.
“When Hazel signed up for a dating site it didn’t sit right with me, but it wasn’t until she decided to accept a date that I realized I likely missed my chance. I couldn’t stand the thought of her being with anyone but me.”
Gran tilted her head, keeping his gaze the whole time. “So you decided to start something with my granddaughter because you didn’t want anyone else to have her.”
Jareth crossed his arms over his chest. His expressions ranged from anger to annoyance and then finally ended in acceptance. “Yes.”
I stared at him, my eyes wide. What was he doing? I knew what we had was more than that but she didn’t. Surprisingly, Gran didn’t utter a word.
“At first it was like that, but once I realized it wasn’t just that I wanted her or didn’t want her to be with someone else. I couldn’t imagine not being with her or not having her sunshine light up my life.”
“Do you love her?” Gran asked, she mimicked Jareth’s stance and crossed her arms.
I sucked in a breath so fast I choked on my spit. They at least waited until I had the ability to stop coughing before they continued.
“I don’t know,” Jareth answered honestly.
Even though I didn’t want to hear lies spill from his lips, his admission hurt just the same.
“I’ve never experienced romantic love and the only other person I loved in this world, without condition, died twenty years ago. It’s hard to open my heart when I know how much it hurts to lose someone.”
How sad was it that he’d never found another person in this world to love after his dad died. I wanted to jump up and hug him. I almost did until Gran threw a ‘stay there’ look my way.
Jareth stared at me. An impenetrable look carved into his face. His jaw ticked and emotions flashed through his eyes so fast I couldn’t pick out which one to focus on. When the silence grew, I realized Gran was using it as a tactic, just like Jareth, to draw forth answers.
“But I want to try,” he finally admitted. He said it so low I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right over the whooshing in my ears.
Gran patted his hand. “That’s all you can do. No one has any guarantee, but if you keep yourself closed off from her someday she’ll move on to find someone who can give her what she needs.”
I hadn’t set Gran up to say any of this, but she asked questions I didn’t dare to and maybe that’s why she did it. Jareth wanted to give us a try. I knew deep within my soul he was telling the truth. Yet, I also saw the pensive stares when he thought I wasn’t looking. How in the tense set of his jaw that he didn’t believe we’d last. That the important people had walked away from him, or were taken by death, and he feared I’d leave him too.
Knowing him as well as I did, I feared pushing him too far too fast. Jareth and I had not been together long, although my heart had been falling for him for the last three years. I was grateful to Gran that she was the one pushing for answers, and forcing this conversation. The questions she asked I’d buried deep within my heart. Part of me wondered if we had a future and if he’d ever let me fully in. I knew I was in love with Jareth, and even though deep down I was sure he felt the same, how long could I stay if he was never able to admit it?
I needed to shut down this line of thought. There was no need to be sad about what might be. I had to stay optimistic. I didn’t need to figure any of this out today.
“And what about you?” Gran turned the tables on me and yanked me out of my gloomy thoughts.
I glanced at Jareth. The look on his face hadn’t changed, but I could see his hands clenched on his lap. He’d thought because of his confession about not yet loving me I might walk away. “I think being willing to try is good enough for me.”
Jareth visibly relaxed. The tension in his muscles eased and instead of his trademark smirk, a real, genuine smile that reached his eyes settled on his face.
Gran smiled at me. “Well I don’t love that you missed Christmas with me, being that it’s our favorite holiday, but I can see now why you did. And if it ever happens again, you two better take me with you.”
Seeing her on our side right now, I thought it best to not mention that I hadn’t been given a choice about going away. I laughed. “Deal.”
“Now, I was promised presents. Where are they?” Gran quickly changed topics, and I was grateful for the reprieve. My eyes met Jareth’s, and I tried to silently communicate all the love I felt for him.
I just had to hope it was enough.
We sat in the backseat of Jareth’s car headed to The Wooden Nickel. “I’m so sorry about Gran.”
He reached over and pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling into my shoulder, and drawing a deep breath. I ran my hands through his hair, letting the soft strands slip through my fingers.
“You do know that she’ll hold you to every promise you made and expect us to take her to all those vacation spots?”
“I don’t mind. She’s a big part of your life. If she’s happy, you’re happy.” It sounded so simple when he put it like that.
“You make me happy too,” I whispered.
He lifted his head. His eyes darkened with desire. “I would give you the world.”
“I know.” I answered instead of saying what was truly on my mind, I just want your heart. This was what he was capable of right now, and even though Gran’s conversation forced thoughts of love to the forefront of my mind, I didn’t want to push Jareth for more than he was capable of giving.
Elias cleared his throat.
I looked out the window, the bright neon sign for The Wooden Nickel, shown brightly against the dark sky. I planned to sing tonight, and Jareth had asked to come with me. Butterflies erupted in my stomach at sharing this particular part of my life with him. He’d heard me sing off-hand in the office and at home, but I’d never once let on that it had been my dream to sing professionally. A dream I’d tucked away. I didn’t have the time or the money to pursue a career that might never work out.
“Thank you,” I answered.
Jareth and I slid out of the car. As we got closer to the front door, Jareth placed his hand at my lower back. I shivered. I loved when he did that. It was like he subtly staked his claim.
“Hi Mike,” I said to the big burly guy.
His eyes narrowed as they glanced at Jareth. He grunted hello to me, but never let up on his death glare.
We strode into the main area of the bar, and I quietly said to Jareth, “That was weird. Mike is usually so friendly.” We continued to the bar and settled down at the end. Jareth helped me off with my coat as I waited for Niki to turn around. I couldn’t wait to introduce the two of them.
After a few minutes Niki noticed me and hurried over. The second her eyes swung toward Jareth, they narrowed just as Mike’s had.
“Hey, Nik. This is Jareth.” I waved toward him
“Oh, we’ve met.” She leaned on the bar, giving him an intimidating stare.
“You have?” Lacey had come into the office a few times so she’d met Jareth, but Niki hadn’t.
“Mm-hmm.” When she didn’t elaborate I wanted to slap my hands onto the bartop to get both of their attention.
Jareth stared at her. A cloud of tension surrounded us. I swallowed hard as they both stayed silent. My stomach twisted and twirled at how uncomfortable their stare-off was making me.
“What’s going on?” I asked. I’d clearly missed something.
Niki turned to me. “Do you remember me telling you that a guy was here and didn’t leave his name?”
I swung my gaze to Jareth, my mouth dropping onto an ‘o’ of surprise. “Did you follow me here?”
He shrugged. “I did.” If his attitude was any guess clearly this didn’t bother him in the least.
“I can’t believe you. Why?” This was ridiculous.
He frowned. “I thought you had a date.”
I threw up my hands. “Seriously? We clearly need to have another conversation about boundaries when we get home tonight.”
He shrugged again, and I smacked his shoulder. “This was before Bali,” he clarified.
“That doesn’t make it any better, you idiot.” Having him admit it was before taking me to Bali did actually mollify me the tiniest bit. Not that I’d say that to him.
Jareth grunted in response.
“How’s the house situation going?” Niki asked.
I smiled. “Really well. They’ll be done in the next day or two. It took a little longer than expected because of the holidays.”
“And you’ll be moving back home then?” Niki’s sly look was fixated on Jareth.
A low growl left Jareth’s mouth before I could respond.
I touched the back of his hand that rested on the bar. “We haven’t talked about it yet.” I had such mixed feelings when Avery Wolfe texted me an update this morning.
When I pushed and asked why everything had taken so long she finally admitted that Jareth had authorized upgrades to the house. Another thing he and I needed to discuss. Fear skittered through me, twisting my stomach in knots. While slightly irrational I worried that if I moved back to my own place our relationship would change and not for the better.
Niki shook her head and placed a bottle of water on the counter in front of me. “It’s almost time for you to get up there.”
I grabbed it, knowing I’d chug most of it before I got on stage. In the seconds before I started, I alternated between my mouth being super dry and wanting to dry heave, but once I was up there and in the zone, I was fine.
“Break a leg, Sunshine.” Jareth brushed a lock of hair back. The light touch allowed me to push away the turmoil racing through my mind.
I pursed my lips. “So you already knew I did this?”
The smile on his face dropped. “I did.”
“I thought I was going to share something special with you, but… ” It shouldn’t disappoint me that he’d been here for one of my performances, but it did. I had wanted to see his face when I got up on stage for the first time. To see his genuine reaction.
He dug his fingers into my hips to draw me closer to him. “Last time you had no idea I was in the audience. Tonight will be like the first time I’m seeing you on stage. When I was here before I was too full of rage and jealousy to fully appreciate how amazing you were. Today though, I’ll get to see you shine. I’ll be your number one fan. Okay?”
I tilted my head to the side. “Okay.”
He lifted his hand and rubbed his thumb across my cheek. “I can’t wait to see how you wow the crowd.”
I smiled and lifted my chin. “Good luck kiss?”
“Yes to the kiss.” He pressed his lips to mine in a light gentle kiss. “But no to the luck. You don’t need it.”
The person currently on stage was finishing up their last song and I needed to hurry so I could prepare for my time slot. I patted the lapel of Jareth’s suit jacket and swung my gaze to Niki. “You two get along while I’m up there.”
Jareth grunted, and Niki didn’t look like she was going to go above and beyond to make that happen. I shook my head, knowing they’d need to work it out and that Niki would grill me later.
I pecked Jareth’s lips and put the weirdness between Niki and him out of my mind. I needed to get in the zone. I waved to the other singers waiting their turn backstage as I dropped off my coat and purse in the small green room first before handing the sheet music to the pianist who was waiting for the next person to begin. Then I hurried back to run through my warm-up exercises. Many were ones I’d used throughout my childhood. The second Gran heard me sing, she enrolled me in voice lessons. First, I started out in a group class, but as I surpassed the other students, my teacher recommended private classes.
“Hey you. It’s time,” Lacey called out from the doorway.
I abruptly stopped and ran to her. “I missed you!”
She grunted when my body slammed into her and I threw my arms around her for a big hug. “I missed you too. I can’t wait to hear about Bali.”
“Speaking of Jareth. Did you know that… ” I trailed off.
“That Jareth was the guy here that night? No way.” Niki must have jetted to the kitchen the second I left.
“I really wish I’d come out that night and saw him now.” Lacey grinned.
“He thought I had a date,” I explained.
She chuckled. “Oh I’ve heard about his stalking. I’m not going to lie. I’d have loved to see a jealous Jareth. He’s always so formal. So austere. Like he hides all his emotions.”
“He’s not really like that.” I wasn’t sure if Jareth would ever show what I liked to think of as his true personality to anyone but me.
“Maybe with you he’s not, but to the rest of us, we should be grateful in his presence.” Lacey was exaggerating, but not by much. Jareth’s demeanor was not open and friendly on a good day.
The alarm on my phone went off, reminding me it was time to get on stage. I turned it off.
“We’ll finish this conversation later. I need all the details about Bali. I’m guessing that you and he… ”
Heat raced across my face. “Yeah.”
Lacey practically squealed. “And… was it good? I feel like he’d know what he was doing in that department.”
I grinned. “He does.”
She hugged me. “Okay, get on stage and when you’re done, come to the kitchen.”
I squeezed her tight.
Once she left, I took a deep breath, let it out, and walked towards the stage. I already had the playlist running through my head. Most of the songs I’d chosen were about love and how it could overcome anything.
I hoped Jareth got my message loud and clear.