Chapter 16 Tegwyn
Tegwyn
I find her waiting outside at first light, bundled up in her blue velvet cloak.
Her teeth chatter as she gazes at the snow, her breath fogging the frigid air. She really isn’t made for the north at all. Thank the goddess she came to her senses and finally decided to join me on a morning hunt. I know I’m insufferable to be around, but she needs to do this.
Gentle flurries drift from an overcast sky, coating the slope in a fine frosting of snow. Winter is coming quicker than I expected.
I hand her my quiver, and she looks at me, puzzled. “Why are you giving me this?”
I shrug. “Thought you would appreciate the honour.”
Her eyes find the longbow slung across my shoulder. “Well, how about the longbow? Can I hold that, too?”
I cover the longbow with my fleece. “You most certainly can’t. You’re not quite there yet, princess. So, it’s just the quiver for you, for now.”
She tosses me a withering look, then marches out of the cave with her chin held high.
A snigger escapes me. She hates it when I call her princess.
I follow her after a moment; I have a long day of teaching her how to be a self-sufficient being.
I release the arrow, hitting the mark I carved into a tree, and it’s a perfect aim, as usual.
I toss her a smirk over my shoulder, but to my frustration, she’s not even watching.
Instead, she watches a murder of crows cawing in the trees, and I roll my eyes, beckoning her forward. “Ivy, come here.”
She glances up, cheeks rosy with the cold. When I raise a questioning brow, she rolls her own eyes, joining my side.
I help her with her posture, kicking her legs apart when she doesn’t move fast enough for my liking.
She huffs a breath. “I can move my own legs, you know.”
“I suppose you can, but you seem to be stuck in a world of your very own choosing right now, princess, so it’s the only way I can teach you.”
She regards the longbow. “So, does this mean I can finally hold the bow?”
“No. You will learn the proper steps before I give you my pride and joy.”
She crosses her arms. “Fine. So, what’s next, teacher?”
I grit my teeth at her snarky attitude. “Determining your dominant eye.”
Ivy puts her hands on her hips. “And how am I supposed to do that without holding the bow first?”
With a smirk, I form a triangle with my gloved fingers, moving it towards my eyes. “Whichever eye the triangle is most drawn to, that’s your dominant eye. Mine’s my left, see?”
She gives me a scathing look, then forms a triangle with her hands, bringing them to her eyes.
I chuckle, “Left eye dominant, like me. Lucky you.”
She perks up at that. “Does this mean I can finally hold the bow?”
I tap my chin. “Hm, all right. I guess you’re ready.”
Her grin widens, and I ignore the fluttering in my chest when I spy the childlike wonder in her eyes. She’s so green, it hurts.
Taking up my place behind her, I take an arrow from the quiver, then position her fingers around the bow.
“See the groove at the end of the arrow? That’s the nock. You attach it to the bowstring, just below the marker point, ensuring that the fletching is aligned correctly with the cock vane facing outward.”
She nods, following my instructions.
“Then, hold the arrow in place with your index finger above the arrow and two below.”
She adjusts her fingers around the arrow, turning to face me once again.
“Now, point the arrow at the target, keeping your elbow parallel to the ground. Can you see down the spine of the arrow?”
Ivy gives another nod.
“Now, pull the bowstring towards you.” I place my hand over hers, guiding her movements with my fingers. “Arms relaxed, elbow raised, and keep pulling until the bowstring is anchored against the side of your jaw.”
She follows my directions, tugging the bowstring until it presses against the side of her jaw.
“Is the target in sight?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now release.”
She releases, and the arrow hisses through the air, hitting the very heart of the target.
I stare, impressed.
Not bad for a beginner.
When I face her again, she’s grinning from ear to ear, and I go completely still at the magnificent sight.
We’re standing awfully close.
My heart beats on my tongue, and I get lost inside the endless sea of her eyes, forgetting myself for a moment. What were we doing again?
Ivy looks at me the same way, and when her rounded pupils fall on my lips, I don’t run. This time, I stay.
Her breath ghosts my lips once again, and when she leans closer, closing her eyes, my own shut.
A branch cracks behind us, and we both stop, whirling around.
The blood rushes back to my head, and now the spell between us breaks, our almost kiss forgotten on the wind.
A beautiful red doe watches us from the trees. She stands beside a spruce just fifteen yards away, and it’s a perfect shot. I don my hunting hat, trying to ignore the creature’s curious gaze. She’s young, so she hasn’t learned to fear us yet.
A shame.
“Ivy, draw…” I whisper.
She stares at the doe helplessly, blue-green eyes wide with wonder.
I grind my teeth, whispering a little louder, “Ivy. Draw. Now.”
Her arms shake as she can’t stop staring at the beautiful deer.
The animal steps out from the trees, and I have never seen a more innocent creature. The sweet doe has absolutely no idea of the real danger she’s in, and it almost seems unfair.
But Ivy needs to learn.
“Ivy…” I growl.
Her lip trembles, tears gleaming inside her big, starburst eyes. Then finally, she lowers her arrow, shaking her head.
“No. It’s wrong. It’s just so…”
Her voice trails away, but I don’t need to hear the rest of her sentence. Because I see it, too. It’s wrong because the deer is still so young and curious, and to kill her would be cowardly at this stage. It should be a fair fight at least.
But meat is meat, and I can’t afford to get sentimental.
After all, I’m hunting for two now. Ivy will not starve on my watch.
Tearing the weapon from her grip, I point the arrow at the deer’s sweet brown eyes, aiming for a clean shot.
My throat constricts, and I struggle to breathe. Why won’t she run?
Instead of fleeing, the doe steps closer, sniffing the tip of the arrow with her shiny nose. Her ears prick, and then she cocks her head.
I…can’t kill her…
The doe trusts me because I’m Fae. A so-called friend of the forest.
Ivy waves her arms, and the deer startles, making a beeline for the trees with a flash of her white tail.
I round on the human immediately. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”
She’s still gazing at the spot where the deer vanished. “I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t…”
I grip her shoulders. “That deer could have seen you through the winter!”
Ivy whimpers, and I look down at my hands. My claws are drawn, cutting into her arms, and when I remove them, they drip with blood.
Shit.
She staggers away from me, looking at me like I’m the monster under her bed.
Guilt shreds my insides when I realise…I hurt her.
“Ivy...” I whisper.
“Stay away!” she shrieks, tripping over snow in her haste to get away from me.
The look of betrayal on her face sends me spiralling into the abyss, and maybe this time, I won’t ever crawl back out. With a wretched sob, she disappears into the forest, turning her back on me, but I don’t go after her.
Instead, I stare at her blood. It drips from the tips of my claws, staining the snow at my feet.
Hurting her was never my intention. I’m definitely going to hell after this.
Nothing will ever make this right again.
I find her in her room, cleaning her wounds with a wet cloth.
She doesn’t see me watching her in the shadows. Nor does she see me when she presses the cloth to her shoulder, hissing in pain, and guilt tears me apart yet again.
I really never meant to hurt her. Maybe all those kids back in the village were right about me, after all. Maybe I am a monster.
Ivy stiffens. Then she spins suddenly, the colour draining from her face when she sees me.
I probably look like a horned demon from the bowels of hell, especially with the way my eyes glow.
She whimpers, gripping her blankets like a child. “Stay away...”
She’s terrified of me now, and rightly so. For her sake, I don’t use my speed. I move at a languid, human pace, raising my hands as a sign of peace—I even make sure that my claws are back inside my gloves. “I’m not going to hurt you, Ivy.”
She grips the blankets tighter, and I finally realise that she’s undressed.
The blood burns hot in my veins. Then my mouth dries, and the room spins in circles.
But as always, I get a hold of myself. I’m already on thin ice, and I need to regain her trust.
Ivy wrings the blankets with her fingers, worrying her bottom lip. Her terrified eyes don’t leave me, and shame gouges deep beneath my skin again, leaving permanent marks on my soul.
I will never forget the way she looked at me, as if I were some type of monster hellbent on vanquishing her. Still, I want to help.
“Here, let me…”
As I dare a step closer, she holds the blankets higher, tensing her shoulders. But when she realises I mean no harm, she relaxes her posture, offering me her wounded arm. I assess the wound, trying my best not to touch her. It’s worse than I thought.
These deadly claws of mine really are capable of so much damage. I block away the painful memories, focusing on the present. These cuts are going to scar her beautiful skin.
Well, not if I can help it. For the pain I’ve caused her, I will give her something in return. It’s the least I can do.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and she asks quietly, “What… what are you doing?”
It doesn’t take much to make me cry these days, but there are some things buried deep in my past that would make even the bravest of knights soil their armour.
Finally, a tear drips from my eye, and Ivy watches me mesmerised. “Are…you crying?”
I don’t answer her. Instead, I wipe the tear from my cheek, dabbing it gently on her wound. It heals with a flash of light, and when it’s over, she stares at the smooth skin of her bare shoulder, fascinated.
“It’s healed. How?”