Chapter 27 - Lily
LILY
In the last two days, we all fell into a comfortable routine. Logan and I are back on speaking terms and on come-sit-on-lap terms when he has a good moment, which makes the unspoken things still lingering between us easier to ignore.
I did not get to decide who I’m sleeping in bed with, since Max beat Logan at Tekken, even though I’m pretty sure Logan intentionally lost because he wanted to have the couch to himself.
Rockwell banned Max from their investigation corner last night after yet another discussion about homemade explosives, and I’m really not mad about getting to spend more time with Max.
I lean against him on the lounger, flinching when Max presses his ice-cold water bottle against my skin, where my shirt has hitched up.
Sam and Ruby joined us on the terrace an hour ago, and Logan dropped by to smear an ungodly amount of sunscreen on Max’s cheeks before he went to the beach. Either to swim or to wrestle a shark—we’ll know when he comes back.
“Logan did an outstanding job with this one,” Max says, pointing at the only colored tattoo on Sam’s arm. It’s a heart, the name Ruby prominently sitting in the middle.
“It’s tacky,” Sam replies, grinning down at his wife, who throws her head back right into his stomach.
“It’s pretty,” Ruby says, handing me her tumbler once she sees that my glass of water is empty.
I take a sip and try to keep a straight face as I realize that this isn’t water.
“Hey, did you guys fuck already?” Ruby asks all of a sudden, and I choke on her white wine.
“And I’m out,” Sam says, pushing his wife away to get up from the lounger. “You’re not lacking tactfulness, you are allergic to it, darling.”
Ruby just grins at him, and after giving her a kiss, Sam flees to the living room.
“So, you’re a virgin,” Ruby says, already jumping to conclusions. “No shame in being a late bloomer. It’s just funny you ended up with Logan and Max,” she snorts, taking her tumbler from me before she turns to Max.
“It’s like you’re trying to drag someone with no hiking experience up Mount Everest. No wonder the poor girl is so nervous all the time.”
“I am not a virgin,” I force out. “I was—am—well, whatever, I was married, after all.”
“If he wasn’t any good, it doesn’t count,” Ruby says, sitting up straight.
“In that case, virgin,” Max answers for me, and I slam my elbow into his stomach. Learned that move from Ruby.
“Let’s go on a walk,” she says after checking the time on her phone.
“Girls walk,” she adds, directed at Max, while she takes my hand and pulls me into the house after her.
“Why does everyone keep stealing my girl from me?” he says, shaking his head with a laugh as he grabs our towel and the rest of our stuff.
Mochi is lying on the cool tiles, stirring awake when Ruby and I reach the kitchen. Ruby searches the cabinets for something, and soon, two open tumblers stand on the kitchen counter.
“Water is fine,” I insist when Ruby asks for my preferred drink a third time.
“Yeah, no,” she says, getting a bottle of white wine out of the fridge.
“Why are we taking drinks with us when we’re walking Mochi?” I ask, and Mochi wags her tail against my calf.
“It's already past five; it’s efficient, and you need to loosen up a bit.”
Ruby puts on a pair of flip-flops before we walk down to the beach, throwing a second pair over to me. “Was Brady the only guy in your life?”
“Yep,” I say, taking a big sip from my bottle. “We were the typical high school sweethearts. He had a few girlfriends before I came along, but he was my first for everything. We got married right after I finished college.”
“That explains a lot. No wonder you put up with his shit when you had nothing to compare it to.”
“I guess you didn’t settle for the first guy then?” I say, laughing as I watch Mochi run through the sand, having the time of her life.
“Hell no,” Ruby says, shaking her head. “But I also wasted more than a year on a pathetic manchild. Then the universe rewarded me with Sam, so I’m not going to complain.”
Dipping my feet into the water provides a welcomed cool-down, and as I turn back around, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the view of Ruby’s house.
“How are you able to afford all of this? Sorry, I just have to ask.”
“I own a couple of companies. Import-export,” she says, walking a few steps. “Inherited my father’s business and a lot of money when he died.”
“Oh, I’m—“
“No, no, he’s alive. Just dead to me, but that’s a story for another evening. One with way more booze,” she adds, staring off into the sunset. “I’m sorry if my question earlier made you uncomfortable. Sam says I sometimes speak before I think.”
By now, the tumbler is half empty, and a few pressing questions form at the tip of my tongue. There are some things I can’t talk about with Max and Logan. I am constantly embarrassed by my lack of experience, but over the last few days, Ruby proved to be a pretty non-judgemental person.
“Have you ever had a threesome?” I blurt out, immediately mortified by my own words. To top it off, Mochi has the zoomies, and after she crashes into me, I land ass-first in the sand.
Ruby laughs so hard she almost spits her drink out, flopping down next to me.
“Yes,” she says, still laughing. “We were two girls, and the guy was kinda useless, so my experience won’t help you that much. But to be honest, I don’t think anyone could prepare you for Logan and Max.”
Putting my hand over my eyes, I exhale deeply.
“Hey, that’s a good thing,” Ruby says, nudging her foot with mine. “It’s like riding a rollercoaster. You just need to shut your head off and enjoy it.”
“The shutting my head off part is the problem.”
“I already figured. I’d tell you to stop worrying so much, but I know it’s easier said than done.”
In the warm glow of the sinking sun, my doubts come creeping back. Mochi notices my discomfort because she lies down on my legs like a drooling emotional support blanket.
Ruby is telling me about her and Sam’s wedding in Vegas when the words just start to fall out of me before I can stop them.
“I think there’s something wrong with me.”
Ruby looks at me with furrowed brows. “No one is that much of a lightweight, Lily. I barely put any wine in your drink.”
“No, not like this,” I say with a sigh, scratching the head of a no longer drooling but now snoring Mochi.
“I mean the situation with Logan and Max. Isn’t it—I don’t know, greedy? You are not supposed to be with more than one person. You can’t have feelings for two people at the same time.”
“Who says that?”
“Everyone?”
“Mhm, and look how happy everyone is. Do you have feelings for both of them?”
“Yes,” I mumble, looking at the horizon.
“See, you can have feelings for two people at the same time. First problem solved.”
I wish I could argue with her logic, but Ruby is right.
“Did anyone you’re spending time with give you the impression that what’s going on between you, Max, and Logan is wrong?”
“Apart from Logan?” I joke, and Ruby snorts.
“I don’t know if my words are enough to ease your mind, but there is nothing wrong with wanting them both. It’s your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make. Well, you and the people affected by your decisions,” she says with a shrug, smiling at me.
“I’m sure Max and Logan aren’t going to complain, though. If it feels right to be with them, then just enjoy it. Life is hard enough as it is, don’t complicate it further by worrying about the opinion of people you shouldn’t give a damn about in the first place.”
“Brady called me a whore,” I say.
“Brady can go eat shit.” Ruby gets up, holding her hand out to me. “Fuck that guy. Just between you and me, if I had a husband who treated me like that, he’d have ended up in a few black garbage bags in the Everglades the moment I found out about his lies.”
We walk back to the house, and Ruby squeezes my hand when she notices me gnawing at the inside of my cheek.
“Stop worrying. You deserve to live your life the way you want to, Lily. And if this means letting the guys worship the ground you walk on before and after they rail you into oblivion, then so be it.”
The moment Max sees us, he comes jogging down the stairs.
“They are good men,” Ruby says. “Max has a heart of gold. Honestly, it’s so big I’m surprised it fits inside his body.
He would pick the stars out of the sky for you, self-made spaceship and all that.
And I know Logan isn’t the easiest to deal with, but I see how he looks at you.
He would kill for you and Max, even if he has a hard time saying it. ”
“Logan would kill to skip the line at the post office,” Max says upon joining us. He wraps his arms around me, and I struggle to free myself while he peppers kisses all over my face.
“Thank you,” I tell Ruby. “For everything.”
“Anytime,” she says, shaking her head with a laugh when Max picks me up to carry me up the stairs.