Chapter 37 Logan
LOGAN
Lily is, to no one’s surprise but hers, done for. I checked on her last night to take care of the cuts and found her in Max’s bed with him wrapped around her like a safety blanket.
It took some effort to push him away before I had a chance to look at her leg, but everything seemed fine.
She didn’t even stir in her sleep as I put some antibacterial cream on her thigh and wrapped a light bandage around it.
The cuts would heal just fine either way, but I don’t want her to rip them open when she scratches herself because the healing skin itches.
I spend the day fixing stuff around the cabin, ignoring the Max-sounding voice in my head telling me that having a talk would be a good idea.
Max and Lily should have one. Fill me in once they’re done so I can say yes or no to whatever comes up because this seems to be my role in all of this. Picked it myself, usually happy with it, but something has changed and I still fight against accepting it.
As I come back inside and see Max in the kitchen, busy preparing lunch, I’m tempted to vanish out the backdoor again. He spots me before I have a chance to touch the handle.
“Hungry?”
I answer him with a grumble, and he smiles at me, grabbing a third plate. Watching him prepare everything causes my stomach to make an embarrassingly loud sound, and Max just laughs as he hears it, telling me to come to his bedroom so I can eat together with him and Lily.
Lily’s face lights up as she sees me, and I catch myself smiling back at her.
While the others eat in bed like animals, I flop down in the chair Max uses as a dump for his clothes. This is exactly why they have to do shit like this in here and not in my room, because I won’t sleep in a damn bed filled with crumbs.
I’m focused on my sandwich, but when Max makes Lily laugh and I catch her holding her side, worry spreads in my stomach, and I lean forward.
“You good?”
“Yeah,” she says, searching for my gaze. “Just sore.”
“Told you. You didn’t want to listen.”
“Not my,” she breathes in deeply, gathering the courage to say the next word, “pussy.”
“Lillian.” I gasp in fake shock, clutching my chest, which causes Max to shake his head with a laugh. Lily’s cheeks turn bright red as she mutters something to herself.
“What else is sore then, sweetheart?” I ask to distract her. I shouldn’t have mocked her, but she’s just so goddamn cute when she’s flustered.
“Everything,” she says, letting out a deep sigh. “It has been a while since my last workout.”
“I hope it was worth it. The workout, I mean,” I say with raised eyebrows before I take another bite of the sandwich Max made for me.
Homemade pesto—his doing, obviously. Burrata and prosciutto we got from Ruby.
Not slices in a package, no, a whole fucking leg.
The quality of the ingredients is surely doing its part, but everything Max makes tastes like heaven.
He’d say the secret ingredient is love, and he’s the only person on earth where I feel like this is true.
“More than worth it,” Lily replies, a smile on her face.
The moment Lily is done eating, Max takes the plate from her, and as she tries to get out of bed, he jumps up and steps in front of her with a worried expression. I lean back, witnessing Max’s change into his mother-hen-version like it’s a nature documentary.
He likes that; taking care of someone. I know it all too well since I have a habit of avoiding the medical wing on base like the plague. Max is the better nurse either way, hotter, too. Even sinks down on my cock before stitching up my wounds, like the good boy he is.
Lily clears her throat when Max doesn’t move. “I need to go to the toilet, Max.”
“I’ll carry you,” he says, and I let out a dry laugh.
“No.” Lily huffs. “That’s a line we’re not going to cross.”
“You can hold my cock while I take a piss if it makes you feel better, sunshine,” I offer with a grin.
Lily uses the opportunity to vanish into the on-suite bathroom, locking the door behind her. Clever girl.
“You’re pampering her a bit much, don’t you think?”
I pick up a piece of prosciutto that had slipped out of the sandwich, wondering how Max slices it so fucking thin.
“Nope,” he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed across from me, stretching out his legs until they rest between my spread thighs.
“Thank you,” I mumble, staring down at my plate. “For the food. And for taking care of her. You know I—“
“I know,” he says, softly patting my thigh before he takes my plate and brings it to the kitchen together with the other dishes.
He always takes care of my mess. Of the chaos I create and the chaos inside of me. Always, without a word of complaint.
Sometimes, I think I don’t deserve him.
After taking a short walk to clear my head, which turned into a four-hour walk which, by the way, didn’t do shit to clear my head and gave me a blister instead, I come back to a quiet cabin.
It’s already dark outside, and it doesn’t surprise me that the living room is empty. Neither does it surprise me that the guest room in which Lily is supposed to sleep is still abandoned.
Quietly, I open the door to Max’s bedroom to check on them, unable to understand how the poor woman can sleep when Max is holding onto her like he’s an oversized backpack. The thought of joining them creeps into my head, and I push it back to where it belongs.
But then Lily shifts, patting the empty side of the bed while mumbling something. My name, I understand after a moment. She wants me close, and maybe there is a possibility she not only wants to do this for Max.
Or maybe she does, but it all slipped so deep into her consciousness that she’s no longer able to see what’s good for her and what isn’t. Because I am not good for anyone, but when she calls out to me like this, I can’t resist either.
Taking off my clothes, I slide under the covers in just my boxers, making sure there is a healthy distance between me and them.
Behind Lily, Max moves, and the breathy, almost inaudible moan that slips out between her parted lips has my cock jerking with interest.
Slowly, I trail my fingers up her inner thigh. Over the bandage, tracing the perfect marking that lies beneath, the marking that makes my heart beat a little fast whenever I think about it. Higher, up to her pussy, ready to dip my fingers into her tight cunt while my hand is wrapped around my cock—
Irritated, I furrow my brows at the realization that her sweet hole is already being used.
Since Lily is a good bit shorter than Max and I, her head tucked under his, it’s easy for me to wrap his dog tags around my hand. He blinks his eyes open as I pull on the chair, lust glazing over his beautiful green irises.
“Did I allow you to fuck her?” I whisper.
Batting his eyelashes, his tongue darts out to wet his lips.
“Greedy, misbehaving pets. Both of you. Should lock you up whenever I’m gone if you can’t behave otherwise.”
Max pants quietly, his gaze alternating between my lips and the chain of his dog tags that is still wrapped around my hand. He moves his hips, a pained look on his face as a click of my tongue forces him to stop.
“Careful, sunshine. We don’t want to wake her, right?”
He nods, and I grab the makeshift leash a little tighter, already looking forward to the tiny, bead-shaped bruises that are going to bloom on his pretty neck soon.
My hand vanishes back underneath the blanket, and with a bit of effort and Max’s help, I slide a finger into Lily’s pussy, which elicits a sleepy whine from her.
A growl rumbles deep in my chest as her cunt clenches, pressing my finger against Max’s throbbing cock.
“Don’t know if we’ll ever be able to fuck her at the same time,” I whisper, my breath catching in my throat.
“It’s gonna take a lot of prep.” Max groans, struggling to keep his movements shallow.
“Worth it,” I murmur, looking down at Lily.
So pliant, once again proving that her body is completely ours to use. Showing us how much she trusts us, over and over, even in a state so vulnerable.
“Fuck, sunshine, I want to ruin her sweet pussy together with you.”
Max leans in for a desperate kiss, the chain in my hand no longer pulled taut. He’s been pushing his boundaries lately, since that night at Red’s, and I have to admit I don’t mind it as much as I did at first.
Swiping my tongue over his bottom lip, I savor that taste of just Max, a taste more addictive than any drug could ever be. Open-mouthed kisses turn into moans, into touches, greedy and demanding, until I feel Max’s cock throb.
He lets his head fall down on the pillow, and his hand at the back of my head pulls me down with him while I hadn’t even realized he had snuck it up there.
“Lift her leg up,” I whisper.
Carefully, I pull my finger out of Lily’s pussy and wrap my hand around my painfully hard cock. A few strokes later, I shoot my load right on her cunt, watching drops of cum run down to the base of Max’s cock.
It doesn’t take long until his body goes lax and his breathing evens out. I wait until it’s deep and slow before I let out a shaky breath.
Sometimes, it’s easier when they are both asleep. Like a veil is lifted, making it easier to think, to fucking exist, because I know they are safe as long as I am watching over them.
I lie awake for what feels like hours, watching the steady rise and fall of their chests. The responsibility that rests on my shoulders is so heavy it presses me into the mattress, and a suffocating question forces itself down my throat.
Are they really safe with me? With someone who constantly has to keep the rotten part of himself from ripping out their hearts to crush them?
Overhearing their sickeningly sweet love declarations in the jacuzzi yesterday was fuel for the beast inside of me. For the part that wants to ruin, to take, just because I am too fucking damaged to give. And knowing that they deserve better, something genuine and real, is making everything worse.
Lily moves next to me, letting out a content sigh as she puts her hand around my arm.
“I can’t tell you what you mean to me,” I whisper, so quiet I’m not sure if the words are more than a thought.
“I can’t tell you the three words you want to hear. You shouldn’t crave it. My love isn’t love. It’s destruction camouflaged as something else, something that’s just enough for you to stay, and on some days, I wish I could give you more, but—“
Sighing, I brush away a strand of hair that fell over her face.
“All I can offer is the truth. That I wouldn’t hesitate to take a life, or a hundred, just to keep you safe. That if the day ever comes, I would give my life for you because you’ve shown me a glimpse of something I don’t deserve.”
I press a faint kiss to her forehead, and under the covers, Lily’s hand finds mine.